From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
The Luftwaffle is a classic German dessert made out of milk, flour, eggs, sugar and air. It is considered a delicacy by everybody. It is closely related to the waffle. It rose to fame after being used as a weapon during the World Wars. This is not to be confused with the Luftroffle, an instrument of cyber terrorism.
Use in World War I
It was invented in 1914 by Archduke Franz Ferdinand of Australia. This led to his assassination just days later, which in turn led to the First World War beginning. The assassination was during an attempt to steal the recipe for Luftwaffles from the Archduke's car.
The German government did not see the potential of the weapon at first, thus making the first use of Luftwaffles in September 15, 1916 in the Battle of the Somme. The effect overwhelmed the British and French, and made them research a way to duplicate it immediately. Their efforts were useless. Failures turned out while attempting to recreate the luftwaffle included: Luftbagels, luftmuffins, and luftcupcakes, though none had the same effect as the luftwaffle. The recipe was obtained only after winning the war, through the Treaty of Versailles.
Between the World Wars, the German Luftwaffles were improved upon greatly, and used such additions as jam, syrup and even butter. By the beginning of the Second World War, the German scientists had developed a weapon so strong, that international treaties were signed, forbidding the usage of the Luftwaffle. The development of the Luftwaffle in other countries stood still because scientists elsewhere were unacquainted with German culture.
Use in World War II
In 1939, after Great Britain declared war on them, Germany started using Luftwaffles despite the signed treaties. They were used very much during the Blitz, the German bombings of London. They are also commonly stated as a reason for the German victories in France, Norway, Yugoslavia and other countries. In August, 1945, they were meant to be used on American cities (this was a cunning trick, as Germany already had surrendered), but they missed and hit two cities in Japan, an allied nation. This led to the Axis loss of World War II.
The Cold War
After American and Soviet acquisition of the Luftwaffle technology, it was used as threats between the two nations. They had more Luftwaffles than Nuclear Bombs at most times. After the Cold War, the United Nations has taken many steps to stop usage and building of Luftwaffles.