'It's pants-off day today'. Lucius Verus tries to add something interesting to his C.V.

Lucius Verus is the lesser known half of the imperial double act 'Marky Marc and Luci Luce' who co-ruled the Roman Empire together from 161 to 169 AD. Marcus Aurelius's name has lived on as the heavy thinker/writer who would talk in very long sentences in pure Latin. Lucius Verus is simply 'that other bearded bloke'.

For those without comedic tastes, the "questionable parody" of this website called Wikipedia have an article very remotely related to Lucius Verus.


Lucius Verus was the adopted son of Roman Emperor 'Mr Dull' Antoninus Pius. Verus's father Lucius Aelius had been the intended successor of Roman Emperor Hadrian - on account of his well trimmed face fungus. This has lead to historians to suggest that the family were related to Roman general Biggus Dickus who was equally known for his facial furniture and luxurious hair.

Verus grew up with Marcus Aurelius and agreed to marry the latter's daughter Lucilla to cement family alliances. Verus was 30 and Lucilla barely 11. When Antoninus Pius died, the Roman Empire became a joint business account between Marcus Aurelius and Lucius Verus. Except the former could sign the cheques without needing Verus to clear this with GoldCaesar's Bank.



Lucius tried dressing up as a bearded woman to add spice to his biography.Failed.

Since the Roman records talk about Marcus Aurelius a lot, it's difficult to know anything about Verus. He seems to have been a reasonable Roman, brave in battle and not crazy. His marriage was happy and fruitful. Besides that in an eight year reign, it's difficult to know anything more about him. Except the beard and hair.

Yes, the beard and hair need remarking on. This was called the 'Greek Look', a time when Romans aped the Greeks so much that they wanted to dress like them. Emperor Hadrian had started this Hellenistic hairstyle a few years back when Romans had always thought of bears as something naked Germans liked sporting when willy waving across the Rhine frontier or be like the blue painted Scots with their ginger bodies stirring up equal levels or fear and ridicule. But Verus was a master of the barbers. He would have won the 'best turned out Roman' since Mark Antony.



Lucilla was an un-merry widow.

Sometime when out East, Lucius Verus died. Attempts by gossips to suggest foul play or beard poisoning remained unproven. Lucius died (along with most of his army) from acute food allergies. Something the Parthians were good at serving.

Verus's death left his wife Lucilla a widow with a daughter. Marcus Aurelius had her remarried to Quintianus, an oily Roman senator. Despite her disgust, she fathered a son by him. Marcus Aurelius died in 180. Lucilla knew her brother Emperor Commodus was as nutty as Nero and tried to curtail his reign. She was snitched on and Commodus had her murdered behind the chariot garages. The brute.

Preceded by:
Antoninus Pius
Roman Emperor
Succeeded by:
Marcus Aurelius