Lost in the Amazon

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Revision as of 17:59, May 16, 2012 by ChiefjusticeDS (talk | contribs)

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Holy f***! I'm on a boat, on a river and guess what - it's heading towards a f***ing waterfall. And there's a f***ing leopard trying to kill me and lots of f***ing alligators in the water. What the f*** is this, some lame adventure movie?

edit So What Happens Next...?

Rainforest

How the f*** will I escape???

Fuck. (Sorry, my * key is broken. Stuff you, two year olds). I know what you're thinking. There really IS NO waterfall or boat or alligators of that fucking leopard that - aaaaaargh! - just fucking bit off my leg. In fact, there's no Amazon Rainforest either, with strangulatering pythons, bottomless holes with spikes at the bottom or head-hunting pygmies with laser guns. You think it's just a - FUCKING - story! Well - (Fuck of, Leopard, I'm trying to type here) - it's not! It's real! And while you sit your fat arse on the computer and laugh at my troubles, I'm fucking dying here!

edit And The Waterfall's Getting Closer Too...

Ok. Goodbye world. Goodbye <insert name here>, you brutal motherfucker. Farewell.

edit But Wait...

Holy shit! I just grabbed onto a vine! Yippee! And the boat's fallen off the edge and that fuckin' damn leopards fuckin' crushed and dead! Yippeee!

edit But... Fuck.

WaterfallingForDummies

If only I had brought this... it's too late now.

Yes, fuck. 'Cause now the alligators are jumping up, trying to eat me and an army of head-hunting pygmies with laser guns (I told you they were real) are gathering at the edge, and - wtf? - they've got a bloody star destroyer and are about to DESTROY me! This is gettig way to unrealistic. But hey - it's probably a stupid Disney adventure movie; you have to put up this type of crap.

edit Anyway...

What to do? What to do? Do I choose to fall and be swept off that fucking waterfall and be, like, crushed into nothing, get eaten by alligators or destroyed by some lame Star Wars ship? Or should I just create a broken link? What will I do? WHAT WILL I DO??? Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaargh!

edit GAME OVER. WELCOME TO THE AFTERLIFE. DO YOU WISH TO PLAY AGAIN?

Well, yes. Sorry about the lame ending, but that's the truth. It was a computer game. Probably a crappy [Porno|Disney]] adventure computer game based on a crappy Disney adventure movie. It' so crappy in fact I don't even know. And thank God (bless Him) that that's all the crap we have tonight. Goodnight.

edit Other Stuff

  • Ya mum.
  • Nothing.
  • This the the end.
  • Definitely.
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