Looney Tunes

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For those without comedic tastes, the so-called experts at Wikipedia have an article about Looney Tunes.

Warner Bros Propaganda Logo

The looney toons was the first recorded corn show, which later became a channel for children. It was cancelled shortly after because of the subliminal messages asking children to turn homosexual.

In the late 1990's, towards the End of The Third World War, experiments were afoot in the laboratories of the land they so proudly called the United States Of America. In some of these laboratories, they were testing Atom Bombs, but there was one laboratory in northern California run under contract from the US government by The Warner Brothers and the Warner sister, Dot. Their prime cause was to avoid a second takeover of Congress by Disney characters - hence the term "Mickey Mouse Government". The two main scientists names were Yakko, and Wakko, who may or may not have been directly related to the Marx Bros. Wakko, being the more insane of the two, was primed with the mission to draw cartoons who would help to overthrow the evil Disney corporation by attacking their studios, and causing general violence and mayhem.

This would be offsetingbircgh by calling their characters 'The luis Tunes', thus keeping the general media at bay and the public believing that they were just a load of clowns making a pitiful attempt at copying Disney.

The first of these cartoons created by the great Walkkose was Crugs 563 Crunny. He was mentle in a way never seen before....The US army noticed and even considered using him on secret missions in the annual Wars. Wakko was much pleased by this positive result and went on to create even more evil characters such as Daffy Duck and Porky Pig.

edit The "Chartacters"

A devotee of The League of Looney Tunes worships his god, Bugs Bunny (From the now bannedled cartoon, "The Nips Nip Bugs Bunny)

• Bugs Bunny - This seemingly innocent Rabbit turned criminal mastermind has been marked as the possible prime cause of at least 2 Major wars since world war 2, thus leading to suspicions that Wakko did in fact contract him out to the US Army as a lethal weapon. His habit of tunneling under entire countries has proven a very useful tactic for the US Army, who can blow up things in other countries and then blame it on local militants. His trademark phrase "whats up, doc" is now feared more than loved, and indeed, many countries now have him on their prime suspect #1 list for signs of a possible invasion/overthrow by US forces.

The origin of his lovable face can be traced back to a cross between Howard Hughes and a squirrel. Current whereabouts: Thought to be on secret mission inside syria, to start government overthrow by rebel factions...it's also wise to check the left side of Alberqueque

• Daffy Duck - A character created by Wakko, also thought to have been contracted out to the US government, to help out the CIA on infiltration missions outside the US. Unfortunately, his weakness was soon displayed in a mission to retrieve vital documents with bugs Bunny from the Middle East, when they stumbled upon a cave of ancient treasure, and it was discovered that greed drove the ducks relentless mind.

Current whereabouts: Unknown, but he is rumoured to be detained at a top secret facility for insane toons.

• Bosko - The Warner Brothers' very first attempt to blatantly copy Disney. This character shocked people to the core, as it was the very first evil cartoon character.

• Taz (The Tasmanian devil) - Once thought to be totally insane and detained in a wooden crate. Now lives a quiet existance as the mayor of a small town in Tasmania.

• Egghead - This character was so evil that even the US government would not touch him, and his numerous forays were normally to cause absolute mayhem and real violence in the Disney studios by disguising himself as one of the seven dwarves. A notably successful mission of his was the assassination of Coal Black.

Current whereabouts: Unknown, remains classified by the Warner studios.

• Porky Pig - Created by Wakko as a propaganda machine by making people believe that the Warner Studios were in fact a load of clowns. His catch mark phrase was "I Haven't Got a Hat!!", and this would sometimes stop the media from prying into the Warner Studios real missions.

Current whereabouts: Still works in "Public Relations" for the Warner Brothers and the Warner Sister, on an unknown amount of money.

• Zinc - An Animorphic Lampshade.

There were other characters created such as Sylvester the Cat, Granny, Tweety Pie, Frank, Proffesor Black and Pepe le Pew to name but a few, but they were mainly used in propaganda missions and diplomatic events. Speedy Gonzales, uncle of current US Attorney General Alberto Gonzales, was particularly useful in persuading the Mexicans that the US was really very harmless, and that they were too lazy to notice people sneaking across the border.

edit The Break-up

In 1968, Bugs Bunny suffered a nervous breakdown. It is thought this may have been one of the factors leading up to the eventual breakup of the Looney Tunes.

in April 1970, The looney tunes broke up. There were many fights in there realationship. Every concert, Porky would take up half the stage with his overly fat ass, Daffy Duck wouldn't stop touching himself on stage and Bugs bunny himself often would show up high. And besides that, Daffy Duck's Blow up doll named Yono Oko urged him to leave the band. The last time the 4 would meet was on April 27th, to record there song "Fuck this, I'm out." there Manager Micheal Mcfatass killed himself 40 years after because of this. Daffy Duck attempted several times to start his own band, such as "Daffy's Ducks" "Daffy" "Daffz" "Led Ducklin" "The Duck Formerly known as Daffy" and he was momentarily in The Band "ACDC". After this 6 month period Daffy starred in a sitcom called "Ducks in the City." After the complete failure of this show, he began to Drop Acid with Various people until he was assassinated.

Porky Pig would soon run for president of iRaq, and Win. He invented a cloning machine in iraq during Iraq's golden age, that could make a clone of him to run the country so that he could run his own life in the USA, sadly, his clone was an asshole named Saddam hussien who fucked things up.

Foghorn Leghorn would eventually land a star role in the smash hit movie "Throw Momma from the Train." for 10 years everyone thought he was just a random frog in the background, but little did they know he was acutually The Momma. For at this time had has gained 50 tonnes and thus was very fattie.

Bugs Bunny made a band called "Ribs" this band was the only one invented by a former Looney tune to have any success. But, Ribs also came with a choice of Mashed Turnips or French Fries. So thus it did not survive very long since all the Members touched them selves and had homosexual gay buttsecks in their hotelrooms with Random stranges.

The back up Loonie Tunes would Start there own show called "How about, Bugs bunny can go fornicate himself with his mother's used tampon and than strike himself several times in the temple with an iron until he is mentally challenged and than fall off the CN tower to his doom and than his decaying body gets anally raped by hobos, midgets, stray cats and birds, and finally I'll put his remains into my oven, cook em, eat em' burn my shit than throw it at his mother. Huh? Would you like that huh? huhh. and friends." The Name was also called "HABBCGFHWHMUTATSHSTTITTWAIUHIMCATOTCT THDATHDBGARBHMSCABAFIPRIMOCEEEBMSTTIAHMHWYLTHH and Friends." for Short. the title often veiwed the hate for bugs by the Show's Lead star, Marvin Martain. 4 seasons into it, the Show was remained "Marvfeld" The Looney tunes would all have lead roles and an astounding $500 000 salary a show. After 12 seasons, Marvin called it quits because he though it would get stale and Cheesie. The Marvfeld curse fell upon all of the Looney Tunes, none of th3em ever got an more gigs, but thats okay, because they all now owned an African Country, and are reported to be 1385% richer than the main 4 looney tunes put together.

edit See also

• Wile E. Coyote
• Marvin the Martian
• Roadrunner
• Yosemite Sam
• Howard Hughes
• Lunarcentrism

edit Related Topics

• Cartoons
• Animation
• Alberto Gonzales
• Phoenix Coyotes
• Detroit Red Meep Meeps

edit That's All Folks