Livingston, Scotland
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| Yon article may be overly Scottish, no British. Ye shouldnae dae anyhin tae fix it. |
Livingston, Scotland is a rather large town, one of the four built in the 60's and has a few tourist attractions.
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[edit] The People of Livingston
By far the biggest group of people are neds, they seem to come in their hundreds from places like Glasgow and Whitburn and breed like rabbits. Ned is a term applied to certain most people in Scotland, akin to the term chav in England. The stereotypical view of a ned is a adolescent male (although this include females), of working class background, who wears fake brand names (particularly Burberry), tacky jewellery (females often wear their name in large gold lettering), and engages in hooliganism, petty criminality, fighting, underage drinking and smoking, breeding or general anti-social behaviour. They are always assumed to be unemployed. Neds took over Dedridge, then moved into Craigshill, Ladywell and are currently taking over Eliburn. The only places that seems to be unaffected are Murieston Road and Murieston Valley but this is possibly due to the fact they are separated from them by a railway and have failed to find any of the four underpasses or bridges making this the last defence against neds.
The other group are the non neds, and this can be further split into two more: people who look down on neds, and people who get the shit kicked out of them by neds. The people that look down are called 'people from Murieston', they have nicer cars and bigger waist lines. The other group generally keep quiet, but usually receive their allowance of one Glasgow Kiss a week.
The younger population generally behave well but have problems including slurred speech, laziness, binge drinking, under-age pregnancy and spelin problms.
[edit] Business and Politics
Livingston has benefited from the electrical boom in the 70's, but has many other areas such as retail, offices, and prostitution rings. Most of these businesses fail and go bust like Woolworths. You can find many shops in the area, especially a new complex sporting a ground breaking ETFE roof (AKA glorified cling film).
Livingston is the political hub of West Lothian, a newly constructed civic centre has been constructed at a stupidly large cost to tax payers so they can have more natural daylight and better air conditioning. Otherwise there was no real reason for it. Unfortunately, Livingston was run by a thieving bastard of a politician who filed expenses claims over the last year or so for work that was done by an imaginary company. He'll hopefully pay for that in the end with jail time, if not then it shows how corrupt the British Government really is. Thank you freedom of speech!
[edit] Education
Education is a word that usually brings a tear to ones eye in Livingston. Most of the schools are old, full of old teachers that smell faintly of cabbage and over-run by neds. It is not uncommon to have an article published in the ned run West Lothian Courier newspaper about actually someone achieving something, but this usually results in them being battered in.
[edit] Shopping
The town actually has some good shopping facilities, a cinema and several bars. These buildings are constructed by cheap ass builders and are falling to bits, despite the supply of superglue. (However, this weekly truck has to make it through ned infested areas; only one in every five gets through without being hijacked. This may also be a reason why people can't walk in straight lines or talk properly.)
Land Securities have a rather large investment in Livingston so they have the constant urge to expand the retail availability, even during these hard times. It has attracted the business of large companies like Marks and Spencers (who have a kick-ass café by the way), BHS, ASDA and Boots. There are also some shops targeted towards the Ned population like AB10, Republic and River Island. If you like eating you should go there, a selection of bars, restaurants and clubs are open late usually so you can genuinely have a nice night out, as long as you are home by 11pm. After then there is usually fights and bad language exchanged.
[edit] Football Team (excuse of one anyway)
Livingston is home to the football team called, Livingston. They are apparently run by Mafia, and barely ever win a match. They were very proud of winning a cup final against an Edinburgh team called Hibernian. The only reason why they won was because the Mafia had assassinated their manager the night before and fed him to pigs with wings. Disorientated, they played like twelve year olds.
