Listen Up Guys

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Preface by current president of Gabon, Ali Bongo Ondimba, son of Omar Bongo.
"Listen Up Guys" is a famous speech by Omar Bongo, deceased former president of Gabon, targeted at the denizens of Uncyclopedia, who are a racist, hateful people whose only purpose in life is to incite the righteous fury of the Gabonese people. Omar Bongo, in his infinite wisdom, thought it was best to spread his views on the evils of racism by posting them on an obscure joke wiki which gets less hits than lolcats.com, rather than television. His groundbreaking and revolutionary treatise on the evils of racism on Uncyclopedia will surely be heard from all corners of the globe. We will miss you Omar Bongo. I love you.


Full transcript of the non-televised speech from the President of Gabon to Uncyclopedia.

Omar Bongo

You thinkin' of invoking the righteous rage of the Gabonese, you punk ass Lithuanian?[1]

Now I heard about these here [sic] articles you guys been making about us Gabonese and I got this to say:

How dare you try to incite a race war with your numerous offensive articles designed to invoke the righteous rage of our proud Gabonese people! we ought to smack your motherfucking asses but no... we aren't going to resort to violence.

Your [sic] going to sit your fat ass down and listen to what I got to say instead, that's right motherfucker - you try to keep the Gabonese man silent but it ain't going to work no more, you hear me?

Now I know some real smart Lithuanian is going to try and block me, delete this shit or otherwise do something fascist[2] - all I got to say to that is: fuck you... fuck you a lot, why's you got to be so damn racist all the damn time? Damn lithuanians.

that shit got tired years ago - and don't you think I don't see what's going on here either - you motherfuckers are scared of Omar Bongo: yes sir, I said it.. I can practically see you Lithuanian guys foaming at the mouths as your tiny minds try to silence me, but I'm still talking..[3]

See you Lithuanian folk can't STAND the fact Omar is running this country better than any of your piss-poor Lithuanian presidents has ever done.. don't get me started on Dalia Grybauskaitė. godDAMN.

Anyway, I just hope you guys understand that we are all brothers in the end - you know what I mean? you can't go round talking bullshit about us and expect us to keep quiet - it ain't right!

you guys need to get your priorities straight and fast cause I'm telling you now if you don't stop this shit you guys are going to have a lot of angry ass Gabonese guys coming over there and kicking your asses. You got that? Good....

Sorry I had to be so rude but you assholes were deserving it, you hear me?

Peace niggas!

--El Hadj Omar Bongo Ondimba



Footnotes for the non-televised Speech from the President of Gabon to Uncyclopedia.

  1. During the speech, Omar held a picture of himself, with the caption attached via Duct tape.
  2. Omar is referencing the atrocious acts of the fascist dictator Hitler, who was known to block and delete Jews from Uncyclopedia.
  3. One wonders why Omar Bongo is referring to Omar Bongo in the third person.

Link to original transcript of the speech unedited

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