List of weapons that exist, but shouldn't
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“In humanity, only so much can be tolerated, even in terms of weaponry.”
Axl Rose's voice
Axl Rose is especially known to use the the ancient ninja-technique known as the skunk-cry: "SHA NA NA NA NA NA NA KNEES KNEES!" [http://axlbreath.ytmnd.com/
During Operation Desert Strom Axl Rose was kidnapped, tied up, shoved into a tank outfitted with a loudspeaker and he was forced to screech in order to drive out the infidels into the open. This is also the reason why Chinese Democracy, the concept or the album, has never seen the light of day.
In either case, Axl Rose's voice has many other uses, including but not limited to:
Do I need to say anything else about this?
Blue Screen of Death, The
The Blue screen of death is a horrible plot concocted by a nefarious group of college students in the mid 1970's in order to piss off more dependent and less intellectual students using their equipment. The Blue Screen of Death has been attributed, but not limited to, causing the following disasters:
The Euroipods article is so bad, one has to:
Incredibly Hot Anime Girls
My wife's cooking
Talk about "cruel and unusual punishment". Emeril, she ain't.
A product of genetic engineering by the british, this human weapon was first conceived in order to attack the enemies emotionally. It will insult anyone with bad talent causing it's morale to go way down and leave them vulnerable for attack and manipulation.
It was transfered to the United States of America for further testing on it's people and was put on the show American Idol as a judge. After years of testing, the results were shown:
Soviet dogs with fire on their back
Trained by the commies with the intention of setting alight clinicly morbidly obese people, these were a complete failure, as they were trained with russian fatties, which was exactly what the dogs did when they were on the field, run under the Russian fattos.
With all due respect, these have been taken off your selves by the kind Jockeys from the sky.
They hurt. A lot. The Japanese suck at everything except anime porn.
These horrible virtual weapons, extend their grip into the physical realm. By silently capturing intelligent, creative people in their internet clutches, these user updatable data constructs force their enslaved symbiotes to weave additional layers of intrigue and editability to contain the next round of hapless eggheads.
A wiki is created by enslaving a system administrator, who is foolish enough to be subverted by a non-existant software process. The system admin purchases a digital bed for the wiki to be created, and then proceeds to meld together the magical elements of clock-gated life. At that point, the wiki is still just a fledling vanity web page, albiet a sophisticated site with much dynamic potential. It isn't until the alpha-dupe spends real world time and energy contacting other human beings to participate in it's mind-trap, that the wiki emerges from it's cocoon.
The wiki attracts its prey by siezing and presenting the humorous, factual, or bigoted catalogues of the previous acquisitions. By capturing more and more victims, the wiki actually increases it's abilitiy to capture more drones.
Wikis are usually formed along intellectual boundaries, such as the desire to catalog knowledge, or the desire to make yourself laugh, or the desire to believe that your group is superior to other groups. Captured humans from opposing wikis, often participate in trying to destroy the opposing wiki's credibility. Ironically, in this process, the wiki's share mind-slaves, and both become even more powerful.
Although the more insidious wikis have been created with the soul purpose of enslaving and manipulating pale skinned insocialites, a vast majorities of wikis prey upon their creators.
Weather of Mass Drowning. Hurricanes, typhoons, tropical storms, Ted Kennedy, tsunamis, tidal waves, waterspouts, flash floods, quicksand, and elephant drool. Ban them, we've had enough!