# Line

For those without comedic tastes, the so-called experts at Wikipedia think they have an article about Line.
“I'm talking about drawing a line in the sand, Dude! Across this line, you DO NOT...
Also, Dude, chinaman is not the preferred nomenclature. Asian-American, please.”
~ Walter Sobchak on The Line, Asians, and Vietnam

The line is a multi-faceted, all-purpose abstraction that played a fundamental role in the New Geometry Power Movement.

## What is a Line?

This is a line: _______

Ok, fine, geometrically speaking, a line goes on infinitely in either direction, and that series of underscores masquerading as a line is in truth, merely a line segment.

Lines are used to explain things such as concepts, formulas, and theories.

## Lines: What Are They Good For?

Absolutely nothing everything.

Well, a line is a thing that is straight, basically. You can draw one on a board or paint one on a highway (as long as they both go on without curving, for infinity). Put an arrowhead on a line, and you can give people directions! Curve a line, and you can create little doodles in your notebook during math class like I did! Why, the very words you are reading are made up of—you guessed it! -- LETTERS! and of course, letters are made of...

LINES! WOO!

## That's So Cool. What Else Are They Good For?

I'm so very glad you asked. For until now, most learners of line principle stop merely at it's face conceptualization. What they do not know, and could not begin to comprehend, is the infinite nature of the line when in the Cartesian Plane. That, once beyond the reaches of human mental capacity, there lies an inverse, paralleling our existence, linked in stasis, binded only by the endlessness of the line! Chew on that, wise ass.

## Things You Can Do With Lines

• You can walk the line.
• You can cross the line.
• You can cut in line.
• You can go online (though you're here, so you probably already knew that).
• You can sign your name on the fabled dotted line.
• You can play hangman.
• You can draw inside the lines.
• You can snort a line...well, not legally, but still.
• You can put them through words you don't like.
• You can put them over words you do like.

Despite popular belief, you cannot draw parallel lines, since technically, time is the fourth dimension, and seeing as both lines would co-exist, they would be intersecting in the fourth dimension. You lose, Mr. Newton.

## Straight Lines

A straight line is a line that doesn't get all squiggly. Many argue that straight lines are the only kinds of lines and that squiggly lines don't even exist. However, they are definitely wrong, as is evidenced by the fact that if you go to an amusement park, you will probably end up standing in a curvy line. Following is a straight line:

Contrary to common belief and math, a straight line is not the shortest distance between two points, which is a black hole. Straight lines lose to black holes all the time in races. A straight line could never beat a black hole in a race because even if the straight line was going to win, the black hole would make it get all squiggly and it wouldn't win as a straight line. Squiggly lines are the only kinds of lines that can beat black holes.

## Gay Lines

A gay line is a line is the opposite of a straight line. They are known for being multicolored, flamboyantly curved, and appearing after a rainfall. They are often sung about by amphibians and Kansans

In Massachusetts, one may find two intersecting gay lines, while this is illegal in most other states . These intersections are also allowed in Vermont, but they are called "convergent unions."