Light Yagami
From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia.
| You dare bring light to my lair? You must die! |
“Damn those crazy Japanese and their intellectual teenagers with god complex”
~ Oscar Wilde on Light Yagami
“Light, would you care to read the next passage?”
~ Light's high school teacher on The next passage
“Would you care to shut the f*** up?”
~ Light Yagami on Being a bad-ass at school
“I'll take a potato chip......and EAT IT!”
~ Light Yagami on Potato Chips
“LIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHTTT!”
~ Dante on guess who?
Light Yagami, also known as Kira, is the main guy in the anime/manga series Death Note. He is your typical everyday Japanese high school student; smashingly good looks nice hair, intelligence that surpasses all those around him, and a dark alter ego. You could mistake him for Yami Bakura from the Yu-Gi-Oh series, except that that guy did not use a notebook to kill people, he killed people. With his Britishness.
Contents |
[edit] Basic Info
He becomes bored with normal everyday life upon finding a notebook that kills anyone who's name is written in it, he decides to take the role of God and rid the world of criminals. Curiously forgetting that by killing said criminals he becomes a criminal himself.
By day, Light is a charismatic, and intelligent Japanese high hchool student with an ego that is far larger than the combined egos of Adolf Hitler, Commodus, Vegeta and William Shatner. Light spends most of his days locked up in his room to watch the news, do homework, and conduct "personal research" despite the fact he is always boasting about how he's the most popular guy at school and a devil with the ladies. Light isn't too fond of women. It has yet to be seen whether Light sees them as a liability, as causing too much drama, believes in the old Japanese philosophy that women are lower than men, or is simply gay (which would explain the reversal of his last name from "Yagami" to "Imagay" as mentionned higher). He is also quite addicted to potato chips as he breaths heavily as he is about to eat one and then proceeds to chomp away like the Cookie Monster when he has one in his mouth.
By night however, Light embraces a darker side which puts his intellectual/womanizer/charismatic/potato chips addict personality to shame. Secretly, he is the god-like being known as Kira. As Kira, Light writes the names of criminals, superior and opposing anime characters, and/or people he just plain doesn't like into the Death Note, specifying that they die in horrific and yet spectacular fashion. While deep in thought about the homosexuality (see below), Kira is able to make his hair and eyes glow a bright red color.
Whilst there is no well-understood reason why he glows in such a manner, the reason behind his glowing eyes either means he has the "shini-gay eyes" (a Death God's eyes that allow a person to determine whether or not a person is homosexual) or is a member of the Uchiha Clan. That would give a logical explanation of how the Uchiha Clan were all killed in one night. Come on, with access to a television, the Naruto show available with characters always addressing each other by name, and a notebook that kills people with simply a name and a face, do you still believe Itachi Uchiha was responsible? I don't think so.
[edit] Brief Overview
Light's life was somewhat boring, but to give an exciting and colorful overview of this sick minded individual, Light Yagami was a kid who's life was changed by the Death Note. He wrote down a few names here and there, met his future rival, the letter L, teamed up to locate the second Kira; the exeedingly sexy and hot Goth princess and mindless buffoon, Misa Amane, teamed up with Misa and endured her typical fan-girlish crush, endured the fear that L was suspicious of her and him all along, gave up ownership of the Death Note to avoid suspicion and release Misa from L's custody, teamed up with the weirdo detective and engaged in many wonderful adventures which included sparring sessions, heart-felt conversations, foot-massages, and many moments with a distinct yaoi subtext. The two also brought down a multi-billion dollar company (4kids) after discovering one of the higher-ups was in possession of Light's notebook. Thankfully, Light and L cracked the case as to why anime series like One Piece were destroyed in the North American market with horrible dubbing.
After Light regained his memories and possession of the Death Note, Light forced Misa's soul reaper shinigami), Rem, to kill L and his butler-friend Watari. Following suit, both were killed off in sad fashion. With the dreaded letter L and Watari out of his way, Light continued his quest to becoming god and the #1 anime character. Little did Light know that by killing L, he would drive half of the audience away from the show (since L was always the most popular character).
However, Light later encounters new threats to his plan to become God in the form of two more letters of the alphabet, N and M. N was Near; the son of Albert Einstein and M was Mello, the son of Willy Wonka. Light also had to endure the actions of Death Note's most popular character, Matt. Light had it all however. He had the trust of all those around him, two hot women that worshiped the ground he walked on (Misa and Light's old college buddy/sex slave, Kyomi Takada, better known to the Mello and Matt fans as "that bitch"), a stalker and worshiper with a pen that was "truly mightier than the sword", Teru Mikami, and thousands of devoted Kira followers.
watch angry homo kid on youtube
[edit] The Epic Conclusion
Despite all that, Light eventually was revealed to be Kira thanks to the combined efforts of Near and his generic investigation squad, the Japanese police force and Mello and Matt. After having to endure a giant lecture on how he was captured, Light finally went batshit insane and laughed out loud like a maniacal freak. He then tried to kill Near, but was stopped by Matsuda, who finally overcame his stupidity and shot the egotistical weirdo multiple times with a gun. Light crawled on the floor and begged Mikami to write down the names of everyone present at the scene. Mikami however was handcuffed and obviously couldn't do anything, especially since Near had the notebook.
As Light ran away dying, Ryuk revealed to him that Yagami spelled backwards was Imagay (I'm a gay!). Then Ryuk wrote Light's name in his Death Note. Insecure of his sexuality, and being obviously gay, Light died in great shock over the horrific fact of his name. He regretted that he had cheated himself of his hot L-filled yaoi destiny. Which was fortunate for L and his horde of non-yaoi digging fangirls.
[edit] Relationships
- L: Although Light hated his guts, he also really respected L and admired his great intelligence. Light said that L's best quality was his "outstanding foot massages." Light regrets having not gotten a full-body massage from L before he died.
- Misa: Misa never really meant much to Light. Despite the fact she was a really hot Goth princess who offered herself to him in both the nude and underwear, Light was always more interested in using her to find out the names and faces of his enemies. Friggin' queer.
- Takada: Takada never really meant much to Light neither. However, Light respected her intelligence over the dumbass Misa and greatly admired her grace. Light also found her to be as he oh-so-fondly loved to say, "refined". Of course, Light did away with her as soon as she was of no further use.
- His Family: Boring, besides his cute/hot/drool worthy high-pitched sister. Moving on.
- Near: Light hated Near's guts as well. Although most believe that this was because Near was the one to eventually uncover him as Kira, the true reason was because Light found him to be "not entertaining enough."
- Mello and Matt: Although Light never met either of them, Light knew these two to be his most formidable opponents. The reason for this was because they threatened his position on the Death Note popularity polls. Even if such a poll did exist, Light would have never been more popular than either of them because the fan girls always loved the two fruits more.
