Light Yagami

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia

Jump to: navigation, search
Hitler Raito

Light doing his impression of Adolf Hitler. That or regretting that he killed L after missing those foot massages.

Light Yagami, also known as Kira, is the main charactee of anime/manga series Death Note. He is your typical everyday Japanese high school student; with smashingly good looks, nice hair, suave style, and intelligence that surpasses all those around him (complete with a tacky dark internet alter ego). You could mistake him for Yami Bakura from the Yu-Gi-Oh series, for his use of mundane objects for magical murder. Light's favorite method of killing is to write the person's name and that person dies of a heart attack; he evidently didn't know what patterns were, having never worn any.

edit Background

Light is Justice. He becomes bored with normal everyday life upon finding a notebook that kills anyone whose name is written in it, he decides to take the role of God and rid the world of criminals, curiously forgetting that by killing said criminals he becomes a criminal himself. Deciding to use the notebook to rid the world of evil, he killed everyone he knew had committed crimes, assuming the existing legal system was perfect; and not seeing the need to mind controlling high ranking government officials into suicidally confessing every miscarriage of justice they were aware of.

edit Overview

Light sharingan

You are weak brother, you don't have enough hate...

Light's boring life was changed by the Death Note; he wrote down a few names, met his future rival, that awesome candy loving druggie genius L, teamed up to locate the second Kira; mindless buffoon, Misa Amane, teamed up with Misa and endured her typical fan-girlish crush, endured the fear that L was suspicious of her and him all along, gave up ownership of the Death Note to avoid suspicion and release Misa from L's custody, teamed up with the weirdo detective and engaged in many wonderful adventures which included sparring sessions, heart-felt conversations, foot-massages, and many moments with a distinct yaoi BFF subtext.

After Light was neuralized by the Men In Black for checking out library books well beyond his reading level, he regained his memories and possession of the Death Note. Light forced Misa's Shinigami, Rem, to kill Batman L and his butler-friend Alfred Watari; Light had always been more of a Spawn fan anyways. Following suit, both were killed off after shotgunning Bleach without breaks. After L died of diabetes, almost everyone dropped the series apart from the yaoi fangirls and conservative politicians. With the dreaded letter L and Watari out of his way, Light continued his quest to becoming God; however he encountered new threats to his plan to become God in the form of two more letters of the alphabet, N and M; had they failed detective Oprah would have been next up to bat.

N was Near; the son of Albert Einstein and M was Mello, the son of Willy Wonka. Light had the trust of all those around him, Misa and Takada that worshiped the ground he walked on, a stalker and worshiper with a pen that was "truly mightier than the sword", Teru Mikami, and more religious followers than a fusion between the Dalai Lama and The Pope preforming a bris. Little did Light know that by killing L, he would drive half of the audience away from the show.

edit Epic conclusion

Despite all that, Light eventually was revealed to be Kira thanks to the combined efforts of Near and his generic investigation squad, the Japanese police force, Mello and Robocop; who was already technically dead. After having to endure a giant lecture on how he was captured, Light finally went bat shit insane and laughed out loud like a maniacal psychopath just to incriminate himself for fun.

edit Relationships

L: Although Light hated his guts, he also really respected L and admired his great intelligence and lack of friends. Light said that L's best quality was his "outstanding foot massages". Light regrets having not gotten a Taiwanese full-body massage from L before he died, as it would have been a much happier ending than drawing the series out another season.
Misa: Misa never really meant much to Light. Despite the fact she was a super model who worshiped him, Light was always more interested in using her to find out the names and faces of his enemies. Misa is the reason why L died, but L would forgive anyway because he was Jesus Christ.
Takada: Takada never really meant much to Light neither; although unlike Misa she could write an essay about how awesome he was. Light did away with her as soon as she was of no further use.
His Family: Boring, besides his high-pitched sister who can't do quadratic equations. They're also probably all deaf, as they never seem to notice or hear Light shouting "Damn you L!" or "I will be the god of this new world!" or "I will take this potato chip and crush L with it!" or "Mwahahahahaha!" etc in his room. Either his room was well sound proofed or his family really loves listening to heavy metal all day.
Near: Light hated Near's guts as well. Although most believe that this was because Near was the one to eventually uncover him as Kira, the true reason was because Light found him to be "not entertaining enough."; hat and he didn't massage his feet as well as L. People hate him because L should have won against Light, with robots or something, not this albino, autistic adolescent.
Mello and Matt: Although Light never met either of them, Light knew they threatened his position on the Death Note popularity polls. Even if such a long, hard poll did exist, Light would have never been more popular than either of them because his boyfriend was dead. Mello also adored chocolate a bit too much and tried to pimp his sister to the mafia at one point.
Matsuda: Light received a couple of love letters from this guy. They were bullets, straight from his gun to his kneecaps. It was the best moment of the entire series.

edit See Also

Personal tools