Liger
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“What'chu know bout Ligers?!”
“It's a trap!”
A liger is an animal created when a confused and/or really desperate lion and tiger meet. This often happens in captivity, under the influence of industrial narcotics and Danny Baker.
Ligers are born upside down and with no feet, legs or head. They are also born with magical properties which give them the ability to confuse and distract prey at will. It is also widely acknowledged that ligers are greater than the sum of their component parts.
Ligers are equipped with a venomous barb on the tip of their tails. They use this to barb their enemies venomously.
- Ligers are somewhat like Tigons, only cooler.
- Ligers are jerks they always laugh whenever you say jello seriosly grow up.
- Like cheetahs, but unlike monkeys, ligers enjoy gambling.
- Ligers' favorite color is flourescent black.
- Ligers' preferred food is lamb chops, but they are also partial to Captain Crunch.
- Ligers are water resistant up to 6".
- According to a 1989 study, ligers are 104% more exciting than dogs.
- Ligers are bullet proof.
- It is a little known fact that on clamping their jaws onto victims Ligers can exert up to 71,238N of force. This is more than any other known animal, extinct or not.
- No liger has ever been beaten in a game of Clue.(They always look inside the envelope)
- Ligers originated in Ligeria, now known as Liberia.
- Ligers like to play "Find the rapist" with their home dawgs.
- Ligers prey on pizza delivery dudes and cardboard cutouts of Fred Figglehorn. They hate that guy!
- Sasuke+Kabuto+Sakura=Liger(Tiger is in there somewhere but you have to find it!!
- It is said that if you see a liger you should stop, drop, and roll/scream to prevent sploding.
- Ligers are said to be very ugly (No offence)
- Ligers tend to charge you a cheeseburger for saying they are ugly (Aaaah)
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[edit] How to escape from an enraged liger
Although Ligers have excellent depth perception (rated 20/20), it is a little known fact that they actually have relatively poor width perception (20/6) and next to no height perception (20/1). This can be used to your advantage if you are attacked by a liger in a jungle, desert or car park. First make yourself look very wide, and then very thin. Next, look exceedingly tall. Avoid the whirling helicopter blades and thrashing poisonous barbed tale. Ignore the liger's magic powers and lure the liger into a nearby pond, river or lake. Using an oversized protractor, or similar instrument, turn the liger through 90 degrees about its core axis. This will take its excellent depth perception out of the equation and allow you to tempt the liger into deeper waters, where its water resistance is no longer active. Ligers are baller. Ligers like going on diets for monkeys why monkeys you say? Because they squeal.Ligers like pizza and burger king and that is why they are all fattys.
[edit] The creation of ligers
Ligers were created when Gabriel Mcgee finally realized how happy he was... The end! Then he started going crazy and asked his friend Alicia to give him her witch powers, so he could make something useful. So now Alicia {Also known as pychowitch} currently has no witch powers!!
[edit] Liger Experts
ligers were created when a bunch of ignorant pepole "accidently" left the tigers and lions in the same cage together. then they had mated with each other and formed a huge freakishly tall gigantic monster known as the liger.
[edit] Skills in Magic
It has been well documented that the Ginger Liger genus Napoleonus Ligratus has been bred for its sweet skills in magic. When the species was initially domesticated as draft animals, they were small. However, in captivity they have grown to reach their monstrous size. Its is thought that the first ligers to be bred for magical purposes where in japan in effort to better draw magic manga tigers, (a common theme, and re-occoring in joke in all manga commics). It was typically the French that decided to breed Ligers for warfare. It is important to note that the French did not develop the magical ab ilities with the aim of devastating their opponents, instead they were supposed to induce a sense of whimsical poetic confusion turning the opponent soldier to a typically French life devoted to philosophy and shit cinema. Needless to say it did not work. Their magic abilities are based on the three core magic varieties that any Diablo nut is familiar with: Cold, Fire, and Lightning. The Liger Mana stats are stacked, as unusually are their Str stat. As a consequence they have low charisma and dexterity relying on more radial spells like frost nova (cold) hydra (fire) and chain lightning (lightning) due to their low hit ratio. Go bob!!!!
Along with basic elemantary skills in magic ligers are also known for their skills in light and dark magic. If a liger is tamed and fed dwarf poop for 3 days the liger will be able to use skills including damnnation and summon skull minion. Ligers were once bred for battle durring the second zulu war and were prodomanant on the battle feild.
If you wish to teach a liger light magic, must drink unicorn blood while juggling on a unicycle.
