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edit About

Someone holding a LifeStraw

Person holding a LifeStraw.

LifeStraw is a portable toilet water purification product designed by Dea Thcup and produced by Straw Inc..

For those without comedic tastes, the so-called experts at Wikipedia have an article about LifeStraw.

edit History

Dea Thcup's dog Brandy

Dea Thcup's dog Brandy.

During an interview with the N.B.B.C the Non British Broadcasting Corporation, LifeStraw creator Dea Thcup shares that "[he] created the LifeStraw because he had always wondered what toilet water tasted like". Thcup goes on to share that during his childhood he "grew up with two dogs, Carol and Brandy, who always drank out of the toilet". Thcup claims that this activity is what sparked his curiosity in toilet water. As a child Thcup began looking for a way to drink toilet water, and boiling was his first choice but he feared that the heat of boiling water might be altering the taste. Thcup continued his quest to drink toilet water by studying Un-usual design at the University of New New York. In 2008, Thcup built a LifeStraw prototype which he attempted to sell to Kraft inc. However Kraft Inc. declined the offer stating, "we feel there is in inadequate market demand to justify producing such a product at this time". Straw Inc. however disagreed with Kraft Inc. and hired Thcup to develop the product further. Ted Halkman, the ceo of Straw Inc. then stated "We have been making straws since 1523, and are eager to expand into new markets by thinking outside the box. LifeStraw will allow us to do this, now release my daughter I did what you asked".

edit Reception, Review, and Response

LifeStraw creator Dea Thcup

LifeStraw creator Dea Thcup.

Several news agencies such as N.B.B.C. and MuchToMuchMusic have criticized the LifeStraw. MuchToMuchMusic host Dalia Namklah says "This is the dumbest product I've ever heard of". Ted Halkman the ceo of Straw Inc. replied to these comments with public statement in August 1938 saying, "One day you will get locked in your bathroom for days with nothing to drink but toilet water. At that moment remember your criticisms of our product, now release my wife I did what you asked". Halkman's statement was heavily criticized by Jeffry Collins of the N.B.B.C who says "it makes no sense since most people have bathroom sinks they would likely drink out of that instead". Halkman release another statement in 1909 in rebut saying "One day you will get locked in your bathroom for days with nothing to drink, and your sink will be broken too. At that moment remember your criticism s of our product. Now release my mother, I did what you asked".

edit Testing

LifeStraw Prototype

Thcup's LifeStraw Prototype.

According to an independently done case study by F.C.S.S. The Fake Case Study Society, LifeStraw is capable of creating safe drinkable water from a toilet even if there is a 7-10 day old floater in it. Fat Bastard was hired to help the F.C.S.S. with the case study. The F.C.S.S. hailed LifeStraw "Christmas gift of the year" in 2011. In December 2011 alone 10 million LifeStraws were sold across the United States, Canada, and Australia.

edit Legal Disputes

Just before the initial release date of LifeStraw back in 2009, a lawsuit was opened against Straw Inc. by Straw Inc. The suing company claimed that the product was using suction technology developed by Dea Thcup, which had been purchased and copyrighted to Straw Inc. There was concern that such a legal dispute might force Straw Inc. to delay release of the LifeStraw until 2010. Ceo Ted Halkman of Straw Inc. released a public statement saying, "If they want to sue us, let them. But we are the straw industry and we won't give up our product without a fight. Now release my brother, I did what you asked". The case went to trial November of 2009, and the judge ruled in favor of Straw Inc. saying, "W.T.F. is wrong with you people?". To date there have been 3 appeals but none have been successful.

edit Partnership With Romanian Government

In April 2014 it was announced that Straw Inc. would be forming a partnership with the Romanian government making them the official provider of toilet water purifiers. This was later found out to be a misunderstanding due to translation errors. The Romanian Government thought they were getting tap purifiers that would help protect government employees from biologic terrorist attacks on water supplies. This was likely invoked by the 3 such hand-washing anthrax incidents in 2009. Unfortunetly the contract was signed before the errors were discovered, and cannot be backed out of without massive financial costs to Romanian citizens.

edit Celebrity Endorsement, well sort of...

In the courtroom scene of To Kill A Mockingbird, Atticus Finch played by Gregroy Peck is seen nervously fiddling with a LifeStraw while making his address. Director Robert Mulligan says, "this was not a prop. Peck personally owns a LifeStraw and happened to be carrying it at the time." This goof is listed on IMDB, where community members started a rumor that its use was actually intentional and that there is an unreleased deleted scene in which Atticus Finch uses the LifeStraw at the court house urinal.

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