Letter to You in Rateme.com
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Oh, hey there PrettyPrincess69, its me, Hot4pix23. Yeah, that Hot4pix23, the one who gave you a 1/10 rating on that picture you posted. Listen, I think that deserves an explanation. Just hear me out for a few minutes, well maybe not hear, but pay attention to what I write, because its hard for me to do the whole writing thing. It took me three hours to fill out the registration form.
edit Its not that you're ugly...
Its just... well maybe 'not ugly' is not the best words to use, I mean, you are pretty ugly. Hehe... Uh... Well, you have many redeeming qualities about you. I would assume... I mean, I don't know you personally. But maybe thats a good thing! I mean, clearly I am a likable guy, and clearly a very handsome man to top that off, and people just like me for it, and If I knew you, then my handsomeness rating would probably plummet from association, and neither of us want that, right? Its better that one of us is good looking, as opposed to neither of us, right? So lets keep from meeting in real life, ok?
Now, I'm sure that if you tried (really, really) hard you could become less-repulsive, at best. Maybe even hideous (which would definitely be a step up from your current status, if I do say so myself). No offense of course.
edit I've never given anyone a 1/10...
So in a way, that makes you unique, you should feel proud about getting a 1/10 rating on you pic, because only you have ever gotten a 1/10 on their posted pic, and probably will be the only one who ever will. That's gotta count for something! Well, in my eyes it does. And, like I said earlier, I am very handsome, so people pay attention to what I have to say, and if I tell people you are incredibly ugly, they will believe me, and that's a good thing for both of us, because now more people will check out your pic!
So don't feel too bad about it. By being incredibly ugly (no offense), you managed to set the bar for ugliness in the future. And let me tell you, I don't think anyone will be able to beat it. Hehe... hehe... yes, well... keep that in mind.
edit Maybe a joke will make you feel better?
So I came up with this joke after viewing your picture, and figured you would be the perfect one to test it on. I know this may not be the best time to say this, but I am going to anyway. Ok, so here it is:
Hahaha, its hilarious isn't it? I should definitely be a stand up comedian, I just need to get a manager. Hey, do you know anybody who could be my manager? You probably don't, I don't think anyone could possibly stand to talk to such a hideous face for any longer than 2, maybe 3 seconds tops. No offense of course. But seriously, let me know what you think of the joke. I'm a regular Dane Cook, aren't I?
edit You know what...?
I don't think I should even be writing this apology letter to you. I mean, its not like I care about you or will ever meet you in real life. In fact, I take back everything I have already said you ugly pig whore. The only way you will ever have sex is if you were to commit female-rape. There, I said it, and there is nothing you can say that will make me regret it! Nothing!
edit Okay, maybe that was a little harsh...
I mean, its probably not your fault you are so ugly. Your ancestors probably just swam around in the same gene pool for too long, and spoiled the family in the long run. If that happens to be the case (which I seriously hope it is), I am sorry for you and your incestuous family of inbreeds (again, no offense), and I hope that you will be able to find love in your brother, or cousin, assuming they are blind (which they probably are, due to the whole incest thing.)
edit In conclusion...
I... uh... I forgot what this letter is about, I guess that is what happens when you get so drunk and wander onto an online adult picture website. So instead of saying something heartfelt and loving, I will just give you this picture of me so that you can look at what you will never have. The picture is at the top of this letter. Enjoy the rest of your life. Oh, and please, let me know what you think of the joke. I am in desperate need of a job!
Your friend (okay, maybe not really),
- Hot4pix23. An online super-stud