It's me, remember I came to see to see you 2 weeks ago? I was the 16 year old man sitting on your lap, crying in heartache for your love. You have snuck into my room and come to see me, and share a wonderful time with me on Christmas eve ever since I was just a young lad. Oh, the happy times we have shared, they have been wonderful haven't they? But then you always leave me, and I never get to see you again for another year. Why does it have to be this way? Why do you use me like that? I'm beginning to think you don't love me at all.
I don't think you even care about me. Do you care about me? Does anything we had mean anything to you? I'm beginning to suspect you just like to use me, and I can't bare the heartache anymore. It really kicked in 3 weeks ago when you made me stand at the back of the line to see you, when you acted like you didn't even know me. You told me to get off you and go away, because you had children to see. Sometimes I think you care more about them then you do of me, what do they have that I don't?
Don't I at least deserve a little more respect and dignity after all we have meant to each other? I mean, I feel so used, and so cheap, and then you just leave me an ugly old sweater I don't even like. At least the Easter Bunny leaves chocolates, chocolates are good for depression, at least if I only saw the Easter Bunny for one night of romance and passion, i'd at least have something to comfort me when he doesn't call or write to me.
I wanted to discuss this further when you came to see me this Christmas Eve, but you wouldn't let me get a word in, you just kept covering my mouth and telling me to be quite. I could smell my step fathers booze on your breath, you know he will probably blame me for that don't you? But of coarse you know, you know everything, you're like an all seeing, all knowing God.
So why don't you know how much it hurts me inside that you use me in this way? I've been a good boy all year, you know that, don't you? Or is it just a lie that you know everything? But, the special little things you know how to do with your tongue, you know what I'm talking about, those little things between us convince me you are still my god. Which is the only reason I am letting you know, that I will allow our relationship to continue this way, but if I have ever meant anything to you, you could really give me what I want for Christmas next year, and that is to wake up with you still laying beside me, holding me tight in your arms, like you used to when I was 5.
But in the mean time, please, call me, text me, email, send a letter, please something, anything, it makes me feel so dirty the way we currently are. That, and I also worry about you, living there with all those little men, and reindeer, and that bitch Mrs Clause.. but I know you don't love her, not like you love me. Please, if you can find it in your heart to do what is right, you will dump that whore and let me come and live with you. Please consider it, I just have to see you more then every 356 days, I know I could make you so happy, we could make love together everyday moment of everyday, and then everyday would be like Christmas Eve.
- Love always,
- Jack Michelson