From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
“I've always loved to see the furry little buggers pop down a hole”
“Jesus, look at the size of that bastard!”
“I've seen bigger”
Leporiphobia, a specific phobia, is an abnormal, debilitating, and often paralyzing fear of evil mutant bunny rabbits. It is among the most common phobias in the Western hemisphere. The reactions of leporiphobics often seem irrational to others (and sometimes to sufferers themselves, as well). People with leporiphobia will, by any means necessary, stay away from any area they believe to be inhabited by numerous bunnies or covered in vegetation that may be suitable for bunny consumption. If they see a bunny they will refuse to enter the general vicinity until they overcome the severe panic attack that is always associated with it. Like most phobias the fear can be overcome by psychological treatments (such as shock therapy) and through gradual exposure to the object. Another technique is 'flooding', in which the screaming phobic person is suddenly exposed to a high intensity stimulus (such as at a petting zoo).
Leporiphobia is actually part of a group of phobias known as Microzoophobia, or fear of small animals. Included in these phobias are: blancomicrozoophobia (fear of small white animals), quatromicrozoophobia (fear of small animals with four feet), and musophobia (fear of mice/rats, least common). These phobias are not as well-known as leporiphobia, so they are generally ignored. Also included, but only somewhat ignored, is the similar sounding leprophobia, the fear of leprosy or more specifically the fear of lepers. Lepers are albino pygmy leprechauns and leprosy is the resultant transformation of the bitten victim into one of these infamous fuzzy elves. Like Bigfoot, yeti, and the Loch Ness monster, it is thought that the albino leprechauns are a myth due to lack of scientific evidence. Sightings of these animals are often explained as flying rabid bunnies or as similar known creatures. The fear of these surreptitious little creatures, however, is very real.
Phobias in General
It has been theorized that Leporiphobia, like all phobias, is the result of a traumatizing encounter with bunnies in one's early childhood, even though the experience may not be remembered. This is a flawed theory, however, considering the extreme diversity of phobias, always inexplicable and sometimes exceedingly strange. Some examples of off-the-wall phobias include a fear of spiders – as such and not as food, a fear of being crushed while in a shrinking room, and the fear of gravity. As a result of these and other strange phobias, another hypothesis states that while some phobias are the result of a traumatic event, most are the result of a random brain wiring that causes inexplicable fear at the sight of a seemingly innocuous thing or animal. It has been suggested that the main phobias, such as leporiphobia, paedophobia, lalophobia, etc, stand out by their prevalence because they would have given over thousands of years a survival edge to sufferers and their offspring. Bunnies, for instance, being relatively small, don’t fit the usual criteria for a threat in the animal kingdom where size and toxicity are key factors, yet most species are lethal when provoked or antagonized (as is common in April, when herds of rampaging children steal their eggs). Leporiphobics will spare no effort to make sure that their whereabouts are bunny-free, hence reducing sharply the risk of being mauled.