Lemonparty
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“I want to have a Lemon Party!!”
~ Confused Child on Lemonparty
“Lemon Party at my House!!”
~ Michael Jackson on Confused Child
“HUALGHLAHGLUAHLUAHLUAG”
~ Oscar Wilde on Lemonparty
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Bleeding Eyes Award This award is endowed for an extreme propensity for causing ocular hemorrhaging. –Sophia |
Lemonparty was a political party founded by George Washington Carver in the earliest years of American history. Though Lemonparty was founded primarily as a response to the British Lemonade Tax, it made several lasting contributions to ancient and modern politics.
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[edit] Foundation
In the summer of 1792, Britain struck a blow to the American colonies when the notorious lemonade tax was imposed during a record heat wave. Little girls languished in poverty and the populace thirsted for justice - sweet, lemony justice. Lemonparty quenched the thirst of a nation through the strong advocation of traditonal morals and baseball. As notorious prude Urethra Franklin once said, "The Lemonparty is not an anachronism. The Lemonparty stands for modern morals, common sense, and free blowjobs - even for liver-spotted elderly men. Our forefathers founded America upon these principles, and Lemonparty will not see them washed away like so much lemonade!" as she began to publicly suck on a shockingly large lemon in defiance of the lemonade tax, the Lemonparty stood for right morals and right thinking. Lemonparty members inherited these rather conservative opinions from their distant forefathers, the Quaker Oat Amish. Lemon Party is also modern white people slang for "Gay Old Man Kool-Aid". if you do drink it, you will have saggy old man balls all around you.
[edit] Decline
After enjoying a period of moderate prosperity and seeing several Lemonparty members elected to the ACLU, the lemonade-related furor died down and the Lemonparty faded into obscurity. Party President Baba Yaga re-oriented the party in a desperate attempt to appeal to youth by changing the slogan from "To Juice and Squeeze Forever" to "Just suck it!" This attempt to revitalize the party failed, however, and the party was disbanded in favor of the Tubpersons, followers of Harriet Tubman.
[edit] Rebirth and Demise
In 1984, disaffected members of the Republican Party reformed the Lemonparty, changed the slogan to "Pucker Up" and sponsored the presidential campaign of Sen. John Pucker of Nebraska. This bid to revitalize the party was a dismal failure, for the party failed to appeal to lemons - a key demographic. Former Lemonparty members retired quietly to their bedrooms to slather themselves in Ben Gay and experiment with using icy hot as a personal lubricant, and the party was no more.
The band Fall Out Boy revived the lemonparty when Pete Wentz found that Lemonparty has great fashion tips.Spike Feresten, Tina Fey, Michael Cera, and Jonah Hill also contributed to the revival of the Lemonparty.[1]
John McCain promised to provide free lemonparties every month if he was elected in 2008.
[edit] And for you people who are so damn curious
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Even making the link is a horrible experience !
Don't say we didn't warn you. But seriously, If you <3 old man gay sex, then take the plunge.
[edit] See Also
- Fruitopia
- MY EYES!!!!!
- AAAAAAAAAAAA!!!
- NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!
- SAVEMEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
- HELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLPP!!!!!!!!!!!!
- PLEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAASSSSSSSSSSSSEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
- WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYGOD?
- GET IT OUT!!!! AAAAGGGHHHHH I CANT SEEE!!! MOTHER FUCKER, WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT!!! AAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHSONOFABITCH PARISTIGHTPUSSY SCARY!
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