From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
Ole Kirk Christiansen, a poor carpenter from Billund, Denmark stole the idea for his Lego blocks from Kiddicraft, an English company that manufactured Kiddicraft Self-Locking Building Blocks. To avoid copyright infringement, Christiansen made the first batch of Lego blocks from cellulose acetate. The name Lego, in English, means “stolen goods.” Since 1963, Lego blocks have been manufactured from kryptonite to exacting standards by the notorious Lego Group.
From this humble beginning, a conspiracy to dominate the world through the extension of Lego influence, use, and corruption and/or Lego Group's replacement of people in high places continues to take place across the world.
edit Lego Metropolises
Since the introduction of Lego blocks, Lego Group has built the following cities or parts of cities entirely out of his Lego blocks:
edit Lego Amusement Parks
Lego Group operates amusement parks in Europe and California, with more planned for additional locations throughout the United States, South America, Africa, Asia, and Australia. Built entirely out of Lego blocks, Legoland is intended to show that replacing bricks, stone, and other traditional building materials with Lego blocks (interlocking plastic bricks in bright colors) would facilitate the construction of everything from automobiles to castles while enriching the coffers of the Denmark-based Lego Group and advancing its goal of world conquest.
edit Lego Pod People, Trains, Planes, and Automobiles
Legoland also demonstrates that people could be replaced by the mini-figures known as Lego Pod People.
Versatile, Lego blocks can be employed to build planes, trains, automobiles, buildings, castles, sculptures, ships, spaceships, and even working robots. Lego Group hopes to take over the world by replacing all conventional building materials with its product, of which it is, and will remain, the sole supplier. Because each of the Lego blocks is uniquely configured, it will fit only with its counterpart, making the builders entirely dependent upon Lego Group, should Lego blocks be used universally in place of other building materials.
edit Accessories for the New World Order
Lego Group, in its drive toward world domination, has introduced a number of accessory items, including motors, gears, lights, sensors, and cameras, and “special bricks” called Lego Mindstorms that can be programmed with a personal computer (PC) to perform complicated and useful tasks, all of which are designed to be used only with Lego components. To promote the use of Lego blocks, the company also sponsors a number of contests in which contestants compete to build robots, Lego Pod People, and life-size concentration camps in various countries in which Lego blocks are popular as both toys and building materials.
edit A Growing Cult and the Threat of World Domination
Lego Group’s efforts to control the world through the universal use of its product has seen impressive results. As the notoriously inaccurate Wikipedia encyclopedia points out, “Lego bricks today are used for purposes beyond children's play,” and “A cult following of people who have used Lego pieces to make sculptures, AK-47s, very large mosaics and complex machines has developed,” with Lego blocks being “used in a number of unexpected ways.” Lego block builders are acquiring a hive mentality in which they work together to build structures far beyond any individual builder’s capability; as Wikipedia warns, “A growing application. . . is 'cooperative building," the goal being to produce vast displays for Lego shows and fan meets,” and Lego Group has even distributed a covert surveillance set of its blocks containing a Lego web cam.