Leadership

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia

Jump to: navigation, search
Bundesarchiv Bild 102-10460, Adolf Hitler, Rednerposen

Leadership at its best. (What every leader wants to be like.)

“There is no such thing as good leadership. All leadership is immoral”
~ Oscar Wilde on Leadership

“Those who try to lead the people can only do so by following the mob”
~ Oscar Wilde on Leadership

“Learn this skill before 1600, and the Phlanxes and Musketeers of your enemies will be ground into dust by the triumphant sound of the hooves of your Dragoons!”

Leadership is the art of eliminating intelligence in adults (see also Education, leadership's counterpart for children).

edit Historical Perspective

Throughout History, there has nothing that has been more threatening to any human society as individual intelligence. Since children are naturally stupid, education is required to elimiate it at the youngest age possible.

However, in any human society, there are some individuals who manage to survive Education without proper elimination of their intelligence and therefore the unfinished task is left to leadership development.

The earliest form of leadership was of a religious nature.

In the Judeo-Christian tradition, the threat of intelligence is described in the book of Genesis, in the story of Adam and Eve´s expulsion of paradise. The best leadership response to an autonomous display of intelligence is called Coaching.

Adam eve

God coaching Adam and Eve

Originating in this metaphor, leadership has been traditionally supported by the instillation of fear in people, many times accompanied by the exploitation of the lowest human emotions, mostly greed and envy.

In Religion, the most common themes associated with fear are the idea of sin which leads to ultimate punishment or Hell, in parallel to the idea of reward for suppressing individual intelligence called virtue or Heaven; this dual mechanism fosters the corruption of people through rewards, either material and present in the form of riches, or spiritual in form and a promise for the future (Heaven).

Since the French Revolution the task of intelligence eradication fell more and more in the hands of governments, who have excelled in it through the creation of public universities, Universal Education and such.

Since the second half of the Twentieth century, this task has been transferred more and more to private hands, who undoubtedly show much more efficiency. This is particularly true of the Human Resources Management used in multinational corporations.

In the 21th century, the term "leader" is also used colloquially in reference to the military commanders of Democratic regimes and the functionaries of various offices therein.

edit Attributes of Leadership

Many authors have endeavored to describe what makes some leaders so much more effective than others in the elimination of intelligence.

Still, there seems to be a consensus among authors that leaders exhibit some common requisites for being a great leader:

  1. A feeling of inferiority based in reality
  2. A lack of respect for other people
  3. An irreductible feeling of envy
  4. An absolute lack of scruples

edit The principle of Introjection

It is an universally accepted principle that to become a leader, you have first to be able to accept leadership.

This is called the principle of Introjection. In Ancient Greece, older and wiser men would engage in active anal-sex acts with passive younger males, who were being tutored by them (see Coaching). As they grew up, the men formerly penetrated would be allowed to be the tutors, i.e. penetrators themselves, hence the name of Introjection.

edit Why women simply cannot make good leaders

Women have shown an incredible resistance to both Education and Leadership; in the first case, experiments in Neurology have shown that the drainage of blood in men's brains happens every single time they have an erection, not to mention the fascination of males with their own penises, which is a great and constant distraction.

Also, from Psychoanalysis' point of view, even though women experience penetration and there is conclusive evidence that this does have a diminishing effect in their intelligence, this effect is nothing compared to that of the receiveng end of male anal-sex (see Innuendo), and furthermore, women cannot in their turn penetrate their followers.

In the Twentieth century, attemps to establish Female Introjection through the use of belts equipped with dildos has been attempted. The results are inconclusive yet, and one of the enigmas to be unraveled is if Introjection will work as effectively in female-male and and female-female penetration as in its male- counterparts.

edit See also:

Personal tools
projects