Lawrence the Cable Gent

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia

Jump to: navigation, search
Lawrence the Cable Gent
Cable-guy-old
Date of birth: February 17, 1933
Place of birth: Barrington-Fordshire, Wales
Nationality: British
Pwns: Poor People

Lawrence the Cable-Gent, (born 1933 in Barrington-Fordshire, Wales as Lawrence Funis Compleus Windsor IV) was the Duke of Barrington and fifth in line to the English throne. After a stint in the House of Lords, Lawrence chose to resign his lordship and become a stand up comedian.

edit Early Lyfe and Edumacation

Lawrence was born in the tumultuous 1930's to Lawrence Funis Compleus Windsor V and Marie Chamberlain. He was educated at the English Jesuit Academy at Dover from first to twelfth grade and studied for 6 years at Oxford to receive a Masters in Philosophy and a minor in political sciences. For the duration of his learning career, Lawrence was educated alongside Geoffrey Focks Worthington III and Ronald Edmund White IV, who would eventually join his comedy tour.

edit The House of Lords

Lawrence spent a brief time within the House of Lords as a highly conservative, ultra partisan Lord Temporal. His main political views were to keep in check the lower class, and to limit the actions of the House of Commons. His foreign policy was generally anti-american, and as a result he surprisingly was among the most outspoken anti-Blair members of Parliament. His famous line was actually first used in an address to Parliament.

Cquote1 Let us begin, so as to get this task completed, finished, done, in effect. Cquote2

After years of criticism and his general disdain for the political theater, Lawrence resigned from the House of Lords to start a comedy tour with his friends.

edit The Gladstone Collar Comedy Tour

Lawrencethecableguy

Lawrence the Cabal Cable Gent's first feature film.

After resigning from the House of Lords, Lawrence and his friends Geoffry Focks Worthington and Ronald Edmund White began their hit comedy tour which took Britain by storm. Many of their famous jokes and one liners included:

  • You know you're an aristocratic prick when...
  • Larson's phrase "Get this task completed," Americanized into "Git -r- done"
  • Another one of Lawrence's phrases, "Dear Benevolent Almighty Omnipotent Lord, I do to thee apologize most sincerely and repentantly."
  • Ronald E. White's nickname, "Irish Potato Gratin Salad"
  • Ronald E. White's famous one-liner, "One cannot redeem stupidity"
  • as well as many others.

The success of the Gladstone Collar Comedy Tour has led to many a spin-off and straight to DVD movie. Including the much acclaimed BBC performances and so-on.

edit Other Appearances

Lawrence has made appearances and even starred in a movie of his own as of recently.

  • The British movie Automobiles Lawrence played a Bentley, aptly named Lord Winston Chamberlain-Hughes, satirizing the very class he defended in the House of Lords.
  • Lawrence starred in his very own feature film: Lawrence the Cable-Gent, Chimney sweep as of recently. When Lawrence grows tired of his humdrum life as an accountant to become a Chimney Sweep, hilarity ensues. Lawrence gets one of the worst partners even thinkable and just doesn't know what to do, and he is disgruntled when his chimney sweeping leaves him a little bit, dark. Then Lawrence discovers Elsa, the top Chimney Sweep in all London and in an attempt to impress her challenges her to an all-out sweep off! Lawrence the Cable-Gent, Chimney Sweep is a fun filled comedy for the whole family.

edit See Also

Personal tools
projects