Laura Branigan
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“Stop calling me, you crazy bitch!”
~ Gloria Steinem on Laura Branigan
“If you don't stop calling me, I warn you, the rhythm is gonna get you!”
~ Gloria Estefan on Laura Branigan
“I really don't remember.”
~ Gloria Gaynor on the voices in her head
“How many times do I have to tell you? My name is Sydney, not Gloria!”
~ Jennifer Garner on the alias that she's been living under
Laura Branigan (3 July 1957-26 August 2004) was an American singer/actress/waitress from New York, best known for her 1982 hit "Gloria."
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[edit] Early Career
Laura Branigan got her start as a backup singer for Leonard Nimoy, although this was cut short when security noticed her sneaking on stage and carried her off.
However, in 1979, she heard the Italian dance hit "Gloria" and was inspired to write a song of her own, "Gloria." She then had a meeting with music industry legends Ahmet Ertegen and Doug Morris, but, as they didn't understand Italian, they quickly threw her out of the office.
It was then that Branigan had the realization that would make her career: If she could translate "Gloria" into English, people might not throw her out of their office for singing it at them. After three years working with Babelfish, she was ready for her big break.
[edit] Superstardom
Laura Branigan had a 22-year career as a pop star, starting with 1982's hit "Gloria" and ending with 1982's hit "Gloria."
Branigan always placed well on the Hi-NRG charts. Unfortunately, as there are no Hi-NRG charts, this had little effect on her career. But, although she never repeated her success in America, Branigan remained popular in such important English-speaking musical markets as Chile and Malaysia.
Branigan returned to the charts later in life, with some new minor hits:
- 1999: "Gloria 99 The Remix"
- 2000: "Gloria Double-Nought Another Remix"
- 2001: "Gloria 2001 for Mac"
- 2002: "Gloria XP Professional Edition"
- 2003: "Gloria 2003 Small Business Server"
- 2004: "Gloria-Episode III: Revenge of Gloria"
Throughout her career, Branigan also appeared as an actress, appearing in classic movies like CHiPs, Automan, Knight Rider, and I'm a Pepper, He's a Pepper, You're a Pepper, We're All Peppers.
[edit] Translations
Like ripping group KrakEN, Laura Branigan was best known for issuing translations of foreign hits. While some of her translations were "0-Day" releases, she also issued "PROPER" releases after a flawed initial release by another ripping group.
Branigan's mastery of both English and her source languages has made her one of the most respected translators in history. For example:
- "Gloria, task that has your number, Gloria, alias that has it on" from "Gloria" (compare with Van Morrison's translation "G-L-O-R-I-A")
- "I get lost, I lose my control, of car" from "Self-Control" (compare with the original Italian, "I lose my self, I lose my self control")
- "Do not of the turn around the commissioner in the city" from "Deep in the Dark" (compare with After the Fire's "Don't turn around, uh-ho. Sha sha, I've got silly hair, uh-oh.")
The title "Deep in the Dark" itself is obviously a much better translation of "Der Kommissar" than ATF's literal-minded "Der Kommissar."
[edit] Personal Life
Laura Branigan is often accused of coasting on the fame of her brother, Zapp. However, she was always her own woman: a lonely, depressed waitress in a New York diner.
Branigan never had a problem with fame, telling her fans, "You're my other half," "You're the reason I do this," and "Aw, Mom, I don't wanna do the dishes!"
On 26 August, 2004, Branigan died suddenly of a brain aneurysm. Celine Dion filled in for her shifts at the diner for the rest of the week, and after that she was quickly forgotten.
Her eyebrows continue to play the Vegas circuit, doing two shows at night at Caesar's Palace.
[edit] Controversy
In the early 1970s, Branigan was allegedly the lead singer of a band called "Meadow." Branigan strenuously denied this. This led to a great deal of controversy as to why anyone should care.
There was further controversy over whether the websites http://laurabranigan.com, http://laurabraniganonline.com, and http://hotunderageasianchickswithgoats.com were actually official Laura Branigan pages.
[edit] Releases
- 1982's "Gloria" was a translation of Umberto Tozzi's Italian dance-floor smash "Gloria," generally considered a much more faithful translation than those by U2, The Doors, and Van Morrison.
- 1983's "Solitaire" was a translation of French chart-topper "Solitaire."
- 1983's "Self Control" was a "PROPER" of Italian club hit "Self Control," correcting the glitches in the early Telesync translation by Raf.
- 1983's "Deep in the Dark" was another "PROPER" rip, this time a new release of Falco's "Der Kommissar" from Australian to English, correcting the blatant visual deficiencies of After the Fire's widespread video release.
- 1984's "Ti Amo" was a translation of the Italian top-40 ballad "Ti Amo" into Italian.
- 1987's "The Power of Love" was a translation of Jennifer Rush's English hit "The Power of Love" (later reissued as a "PROPER" release by Celine Dion).
- 1990's "Turn the Beat Around" was a rip of the CD reissue of the 1970s classic by Vicki Sue Robinson.
- 1999's "Gloria 99 The Remix" and subsequent cash-ins (see above) were minor improvements to her 1982 rip.
- 2001's "The Winner Takes It All" was a translation of the ABBA hit from Swedish-tinged English to slightly less grammatical English.
- 2004's "Self Control" was a "PROPER" rip of her own release from 20 years earlier.




