Lag
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“Rofl lag this is the su”
“x lol”
“Slideshow!!!”
“0M-0M-MG-MG LAG-AG-AG THIS-IS-IS SE-ER-ER-VE-ER SU-SU-CK-CK *user disconnected (lost connection to user)”
“No im good with the helicopter except when... yea, i'm respawning”
“With my new Internet filter that stalks you by the minute, your lag will be greatly decreased”
Lag also known as Gamer's Bane (or if want to go old school) The devil's pause, is as term given when messages-ages that are sent through the web don't arrive quickl-l-l-ly enough. When you have a high latency (the proper term if you didn't know) its as if a you are trying to watch Porky Pig and Jimmy from southpark carry on a conversation. (a terribly long one mind you) Exports are not sure weather Lag is a curse cast by Satin or the wrath of God coming down upon nerds for not taking out the trash when their mommies told them to.
Contents |
edit Signs and
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edit an ddd
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Lagg + 24L − 0.0181818181818181 − La2 + GgLagg(46 + Laggz0r − Suxxor)
edit nnd
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edit Signs and S-S-Symptoms
- Repetitive-etitive-etitive-etitively repeating-ing sound.
- Jjjjjjjjjjerky movements-ts-ts
- Extreme need to kil-kil-ill-ll oneself
- Poor-or-or-grrr Rom-om-m-mmmmman-tic-tic-tic-hic life-f-f-f-fire trucks
edit Currrres
There are no proooooven-ven cures for lag. Rumoured cures inc-include:
- Buy faster ^^#Q^$&#shneeor f-for your comp-omp-omputer
- Fin-ind faster server for th-the thing you were do-do-doing, probably streaming he-he-he-ntai you dirty perrrrrrrrvert.
- If neither wooooorrrrrk, adopt brace positioneeee and rock yourself back annnnd f-f-orth-th.
edit SSSpecccccial Casesss
-Minnesnow-ow-owttttans do not la-a-ag, but inssstead "Leg".
edit How to combat lag
- Go to your garage and get a 9 iron and hit your CPU with it as hard as you can.
- If that didn't work, get a chain saw and saw your CPU in half. Toss gasoline on it and light it on fire.
- If that as well failed, smash your monitor with a sledge hamer.
- But if all else fails, fight fire with facism. Preform the Hail Hitler salute and begin cursing angerly at your computer in German.
as you can see it works as theres no lag in this section.If you did everything on the list, your lag should be gone. If not,you suck
edit THE WORST LAG OF ALL TIME
The worst lag of all time was experienced in 32 AD. When Jesus was killed it took him three days to respawn. Unfortunately for him, he was then kicked off his computer by god and has not played even till this very day.
edit Lag as a Weapon
Every nerd and geek knows of the heroic Warrior, Neo(Our HERO!!! <3), and his battle against the machines. The war took place in a huge computer program similar to CounterStrike(all that pisspoor shooting? Cmon!) called "The Matrix." What was never revealed is how Neo managed to dodge all those bullets, and defeat the whiny bitchface server admins who called themselves "Agents."(they thought it sounded cool or somthing) Most would call it some pretty 1337 hax or somthing, but the truth is almost as sad as it is amazing. NEO HAD A PING OF OVER 9000!!! MOST OF THE TIME!!!!! YES, the truth is out, the network card in the back of his neck was broken or somthing, because he lagged like a 12-year old girl playing WoW on her grand-ma's computer with dialup. Once, he was about to get Headshot like a total nooblet by this Agent with a Desert Eagle ontop of this building, but his latency spiked up to 3600 right when he tripped over his own shoelace, and the Agent missed him like 8 times. He even managed to appear to move fast because nobody knew where he was in a fight. He would just run in circles screaming into the microphone and shooting or meleeing at random.
edit Lag Switches
Lag switches are switches (usually light switches) which are usually known for use with the Xbox 360. These switches are hooked up to ethernet cables by taking the orange wire from the blah blah blah... what? Sorry, this concept is a little too retarded. Anyway, this "switch" when turned on can make your character appear laggy to others, making you harder to kill. It is most know for its use with Call of Duty: World at War and Halo 3. The only cure to this epidemic is the lag counter-switch, which mutates your character into a zombie, giving you more than one byte at the lagger.
