Lady Gaga (serial killer)
From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
Lady Gaga is a female serial killer, famous for painfully murdering her weird boyfriends in music videos she creates in order to show her murder methods. Although she usually acts alone, she occasionally receives help from Beyonce. Her most famous murder videos include "Bad Romance," "Paparazzi," and "Telephone."
edit The Start of Gaga's Killing Spree
Gaga began her career as a serial killer when her boyfriend with a golden jaw forced her to dance half naked with several other wobdbsbenndbemen for his entertainment. In response to this, she wrote a song about how their relationship sucked called "Bad Romance." However, instead of breaking up with him like a normal person, Gaga decided to kill him. That night, she entered his room wearing a bear skin rug as a dress, and began to take her clothes off, creating the illusion that she wanted to have sex. As her boyfriend let his guard down, Gaga instantly set him on fire. She began to dance around the flames, and then slept with his dead body. The bizarre video she created which showed the killing as well as clips of her dancing in her underwear was surprisingly popular on YouTube, reaching over 392 million hits, possibly due to its catchy tune.
edit "Paparazzi" Incident
After killing her first boyfriend, Gaga met another guy who also turned out to be a douchebag. After a long episode of making out, he randomly pushed her off a balcony for no reason. Due to her injuries, Gaga was confined to a cast that made her look like vaguely like C3PO. After her broken bones healed, Gaga dressed up like Mickey Mouse and sat down in her living room with her boyfriend, who at the time looked somewhat like a pirate. Gaga then stood up to get him something to drink. When preparing his beverage, she stirred in poison with a table spoon and then licked the spoon in an attempted suicide. Her boyfriend died instantly after consuming the drink and dropped the glass on the floor, all of which was caught on tape. To mark the killing, she put her sunglasses on him and called the police, stating, "I just killed my boyfriend," believing she could not be caught since she had poisoned herself as well. However, she did not consume enough poison to kill herself and, in the end, was arrested.
edit The "Telephone" Mass Murder
After being thrown into jail and making out with a suspicious character of questionable gender, Gaga was bailed out by Beyonce, who wanted her to help kill her own boyfriend, another asshole. Beyonce and Gaga drove together in the Pussywagon to a diner where Beyonce's boyfriend was waiting for her. In the kitchen, Gaga began to contaminate the food with rat poison, meta-cynanide, fex-M3, and tiberium. Meanwhile, Beyonce distracted her boyfriend who began to get in a fight with another customer and sexually harass and Asian woman. Gaga then dressed up like a waitress (barely) and brought poisoned food to each customer, killing everyone, including the boyfriend. The two killers then began a victory dance before fleeing the scene of the crime. Just like the other killings, this murder was made into a video and posted on YouTube. Gaga still remains at large and police are offering a reward in exchange for any information on her whereabouts.
edit Records of the Killings
- Lady Gaga kills someone at the end of a music video
- Lady Gaga kills someone else at the end of a different music video
- Lady Gaga kills a ton of people at the end of this music video