La Toya Jackson
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“Rub-a-dub-dub. Thanks for the grub. Yay, God!”
~ LaToya Jackson on praying
“Their cars aren't good enough!!”
~ Audi on Toyota Jackson
| Her Imperial Highness La Toya Yvonne Jackson, born May 29, 1956, is an African-American singer, Grammy-winning songwriter, New York Times Bestselling author, Academy Award-winning actress, model, spokesperson for the infamous "Star Ice" beverage, recipient of the coveted Disque d'Or award for songwriting, third place winner at the 1985 World Popular Song Festival, recipient of the Dr. H. Claude Hudson Medal of Freedom from the NAACP for the fulfillment of the values and qualities which exemplify standards and ideals of family unity and togetherness, second place winner at the 1990 Sanremo Music Festival, and queen of the Universe. |
Note: Here at Uncyclopedia we have been unable to tell if the above text was supposed to be serious or not.
Anyways... It is also a widely known fact that she single-handedly wrote the Thriller album, which brother Michael stole and released himself, only including some of La Toya's original vocals in a few of the tracks.
La Toya is presently tied with a large great dane named Yoko Ono. As the biggest superstar the world has ever seen, with 97 Billboard US #1 hits and 6.2 billion albums sold on the planet formerly known as Pluto, she has sold more than her sister Whitney Houston and brother Prince combined.
Many scholars believe she was also the excuse for Michael Jackson's numerous facial surgeries since her personality and her look are so inspiring.
 | The Jacksons |
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Andrew Jackson | Bo Jackson | Daniel Jackson | Jack | Jackson Pollock | Jacksonville | Janet Jackson | Jerry Jackson | Jesse Jackson | La Toya Jackson | Michael Jackson | Percy Jackson | Peter Jackson | Randy Jackson | Samuel L. Jackson | Stonewall Jackson | Who The Fuck Is Jackson Pollock? |
