La' Whore
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“Fuck Amsterdam”
La' Whore, formerly known as Lahore, is the biggest city of prostitutes in the world. Located in Pakistan, it also nicknamed as "City of Sins[1] and Splendour".[2] It has a population of 10 million.
Legend has it that Lahore was initially a bustling metropolis until 1965 when a flock of pimps from India surrounded and almost captured it. The Pakistanis fought hard and drove the Indian pimps away. Wary of another invasion, Pakistan started filling the city with prostitutes to dissuade Indian pimps from destroying the city (Indian pimps love prostitutes and would in no way harm them). It was renamed as "La' Whore" after the French government also ordered its prostitute population to migrate to the city (France's population halved because of this measure). A train runs between India and La' Whore carrying millions of Indian pimps to the city to satisfy their sexual urges, which Indian women can't fulfill. The intermingling of Indian pimps and La' Whore's prostitutes has created a great deal of friendship between India and Pakistan.
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[edit] Economy
Lahore is known for its mouth-burning spicy, highly toxic and hepatitis-inducing food (infamous for being prepared with sewage water) and mosquito masala. People from all over the province of Punjab come here to enjoy its authentic taste. The biggest and best places to eat in Lahore are the two food streets. Although they are the only open places in the city, where famlies can come to eat (amazing considering Lahori men's high libido aka sexual frustration), it is also considered thrilling as there is always a danger of an adjacent builiding falling on a happy dining family. The two food streets together contribute 50% of the region's GDP, translating to $378 billion in revenues for the city government.
[edit] Demographics
Lahore is a highly cosmopolitan city. 15% of Lahore population is made of Pathans, hence Lahore's title as the "Gay heaven of Punjab". In addition to Pathans and Punjabis, there are also nearly 2,000,000 French, 500,000 Americans, 200,000 Japanese, 1 million Chinese, 100,000 Arabs and 60,000 Martians permanently resident in the city.
Lahore's ruling elite, the Punjabis, have been criticized for being rude to the Americans and Martians. Accusations of prejudice led Punjab's minister in 1999 to announce that "The city is for Pakistanis", triggering a media frenzy which is said to have caused the Sharif family's fall from power.
The Punjabis trace their lineage to the British in the pre-partition India.As a result the Punjabis are always looking up to the rest of pakistanis(like english do to the americans). Martians have been furious due to lower representation of their skin colour in Pakistan's flag and also due to the negative protrayal of their race in the movie 'Koi Tuj Sa Kahan'.
Lahore's popuation is evenly divided between males, females, bi-sexuals, gays and tranvestites. Males make up 90% of the population which overlaps with gays and bi-sexuals due to the prevalence of only 5% women and 5% transvestites (i.e. only 10% 'might' have a vagina).
[edit] Culture
Lahore's vibrant culture is a mix of the various empires that have called it home. Near the Data Darbar (Lahore's biggest data warehouse) live the transvestites, who charm the passing crowd with their exceptional grace and beauty. They are also excellent entertainers in various marriages and child birth ceremonies and are sought after by parents to give blessings to their children. However the biggest money-maker for transvestites is to find gainful employment as bus drivers. The poor pathetic drivers normally have been on the roads for days and weeks and crave a vagina or even an ass where ever it can be found.
[edit] Footnotes
- ↑ Cheap prostitutes and drugs.
- ↑ Ancient buidlings about to fall down.
