From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
|Date of birth:||May 26, 1989|
|Place of birth:||Israel|
|Known for||Being the epitamy of Jewish children|
|Religion||Jew. Isn't it obvious enough?|
|Spouse||(and best friend) Stan Marsh|
“Shut your goddamn Jew mouth!”
“Up yours, fat boy!”
“Kyle's mom is a bitch.”
Kyle Broflovski (May 26, 1989) was born in a year and three quarters that keeps him between 8-10 years old over a period of over 15 years.
He is well known for being the Jew on South Park and for being the show's smart kid. Kyle is known for having a serious case of Coprophilia, especially around Christmastime. That's probably because he is Jew, and was therefore not allowed to celebrate Christmas. Kyle is also known to take LSD on occasion. Kyle's personal supplier of LSD is Paul McCartney. Kyle had attended South Park Elementary for the last 15 years and is still in fourth grade. His teacher Mr. Garrison has often said that he was The Jew.
He is also Professor of Thanksgiving at DeVry University. However, it is said that he originally intended to be the Professor of Christmas, but due to him being Jewish, he had to settle for Thanksgiving instead. Because of this, he has harbored harsh feelings towards DeVry, and is currently attempting to make plans to burn it down, but his plans have halted for a short time since he doesn't want to spend too much money on it.
Friends and Family
Kyle's best friend/butt buddy/husband is Stan Marsh and they have known each other since birth. The show mainly focuses around Kyle's desparate attempts to escape from his gay husband, who spends much of his time trying to fuck him. However, since Kyle is a Jew and Stan is a hippie/pussy, nobody really knows who tops during sex. It is agreed by the majority of fans that Stan is the topper, though we will never know for sure until Matt and Trey come out of the closet and tell the public which is on top in their relationship. Seeing as Matt and Trey's relationship is so similar to Stan and Kyle's.
Ike Broflovski (referred to as "Kike" by Cartman) is Kyle's little brother, who was illegally smuggled across the border from Canada. Ike loves the shit out of Kyle, and tries to everything his older brother did, no matter how unlawful, illegal and/or dangerous.
His mom is, indeed, a fat bitch. She is very overprotective of his anus, and bitched him his whole life, which may have led to his drug use. What, it isn't his fault she always acts like she's on the rag! His dad always wears one of those stupid frisbee things on his head, and is a lawyer, who sues people for not converting to being Jews and for his erectile dysfunction medicine not working.
|More Jewish stuff|