Kyle Broflovski
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| Date of birth: | May 26, 1989 | |
| Place of birth: | Israel | |
| Nationality: | Jewish-American | |
| Known for | Being the epitamy of Jewish children | |
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| Religion | Jew. Isn't it obvious enough? | |
| Spouse | (and best friend) Stan Marsh | |
“Shut your goddamn Jew mouth!”
“Up yours, fat boy!”
“Kyle's mom is a bitch.”
Kyle Broflovski (May 26, 1989) was born in a year and three quarters that keeps him between 8-10 years old over a period of over 15 years.
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edit General Information
He is well known for being the Jew on South Park and for being the show's smart kid. Kyle is known for having a serious case of Coprophilia, especially around Christmastime. That's probably because he is Jew, and was therefore not allowed to celebrate Christmas. Kyle is also known to take LSD on occasion. Kyle's personal supplier of LSD is Paul McCartney. Kyle had attended South Park Elementary for the last 15 years and is still in fourth grade. His teacher Mr. Garrison has often said that he was The Jew.
He is also Professor of Thanksgiving at DeVry University. However, it is said that he originally intended to be the Professor of Christmas, but due to him being Jewish, he had to settle for Thanksgiving instead. Because of this, he has harbored harsh feelings towards DeVry, and is currently attempting to make plans to burn it down, but his plans have halted for a short time since he doesn't want to spend too much money on it.
edit Friends and Family
edit Stan Marsh
Kyle's best friend/butt buddy/husband is Stan Marsh and they have known each other since birth. The show mainly focuses around Kyle's desparate attempts to escape from his gay husband, who spends much of his time trying to fuck him. However, since Kyle is a Jew and Stan is a hippie/pussy, nobody really knows who tops during sex.
edit Ike
Ike Broflovski (referred to as "Kike" by Cartman) is Kyle's little brother, who was illegally smuggled across the border from Canada. Ike loves the shit out of Kyle, and tries to everything his older brother did, no matter how unlawful, illegal and/or dangerous.
edit Parents
His mom is, indeed, a bitch. She is very overprotective of him, and bitched him his whole life, which may have led to his drug use. What, it isn't his fault she always acts like she's on the rag! His dad always wears one of those stupid frisbee things on his head, and is a lawyer, who sues people for not converting to being Jews and for his erectile dysfunction medicine not working.
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edit Also See
| Fear their wrath, and beware their confusing names. If you are confused about which one you want to know to know to know to know it is it is yes. babs, it's probably Original Jesus. | ||
| Disco Jesus: Knows how to love you | Invented economic theory: Supply-side Jesus | |
| Jesus of Nazareth: Singer and Songwriter | The Passion of the Jew: Kyle Broflovski | |
| Dark Jesus: Parallel Universe Jesus | Something musical: The Artist Formerly Known As Jesus | |
| Jesus Christ - Alcoholic: Just like daddy. | Member of the Carpenters: Jeez | |
| Jesus Fucking Christ: Working class hero and modern day sage | Semi-Jesus anthropormorphic personification: Messiah | |
| Super Jebus: Western Sydney pimp | He screams! He sells! His head EXPLODES! BILLY MAYS | |
| Jesus Marx: Illegal Commie Clone | Elemental Jesus: Je (element) | |
| Republican Jesus: Has a "W" sticker on his SUV | An alpha prototype Christ: Jesus 1.5a | |
| Hide and Go Jesus: The hardest one to find | That one in that band...Nightmare Cinema or something: Jesus LaBrie | |
| Jihad Jesus: جهاد عيسي | Raise one family and you will be a believer: Pet Jesus | |
| Stephen Colbert: Smiting Bears for in God's name | Patron Jesus of Crocodiles: Steve Irwin | |
| Ultimate Jesus: Designed by God to be the ultimate fighting machine | He's blonde, cultish, and believes in racial purity. No, it's not a Nazi, it's: Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints | |
| MC Jesus: The Jewish Rap Sensation | Blue in hue and bereft of beard too: Bizarro Jesus | |
| Sweet smoking Jesus: What would Jesus smoke? | Bow to ye savior or walk the plank ye scurvy dogs: Captain Jesus | |
| Accordion Jesus: Saves you from pop music. | But what If Jesus had lived in America | |




