Kublai Khan
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“The answer as to why on this Earth we require an article outlining the various actions and attitudes of such a soul who sells illegal pirated DVDs for a living eludes both me and my various peers in the philosophical industry.”
~ Immanuel Kant on Kublai Khan's Uncylcopedia page
The originator of the great Kublai Fried Duck chain (later known as KFD), that successfully encompassed the known world from 1215 to 1187. This has since been taken over by one Colonel Sanders, who changed its primary ingredient to chicken or rat, and rebranded with a communist commonwealth, Kentuckistan.
Kublai, known to his friends as, Kub, was the Grandsons,Fathers, Mothers, Brother,3rd cousin twice removed from His fathers sides, roommate of Ghengis Khan and cousin of well-oiled British dynamo Zubair Khan, who also attempted to establish a fast food chain across all of Asia and Europe. Unfortunately for Ghengis, his method of establishing fast food chains across Europe and Asia was most unpopular, as was his recipe of eight secret herbs and spices, which was intended to flavor the flesh of his fallen enemy, the principle ingredient of his fast food. Human flesh, flavored with anything other than mustard, was not popular at the time.
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[edit] New Recipe and Xanadu
Kublai experimented with the original eight secret dirt spices, and discovered that copious quantities of opium and other mind-altering hallucinogens helped disguise the swamp-flavoured duck, and this proved popular, especially among the artistic culture of Europe. Samuel Taylor Coleridge's popular poem, was a direct result of eating KFCColeridge later formed the Xanadu marketing division of KFD, becoming its marketing vice-president. Kublai Khan sold millions of duck to the people of America, who changed the recipe to the famous "KFC" or chicken.
[edit] Involvement in the Fashion World
Kublai also attempted to bring in the "All you can eat diet", and tried to convince the fashion industry of the time that "fat and bloated" was sexy. It is believed Kublai was influenced in this manner by his distant fore-father.
[edit] Death
Kublai Kahn was killed by Brian Boitano in the year 2310 BC during the construction of the pyramids, Brian Boitano was helping MacGyver build the Pyramids from cleenex and duct tape when Kublai Kahn made some very very rude commets about Boitanos duct taping technique, claiming he could defeat him in an epic Duct Tape battle. Kublai Kahn was of course no match for the figure skater and lost. Kublai Kahn duct taped his mouth shut and committed suicide in shame. [[Media:Media:Example.ogg[[Media:Media:Example.ogg[[Media:Media:Example.oggMedia:Example.ogg]]]]]]
