Kool Aid

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[[Image:Koolaidconcert.JPG|thumb|The Kool-Aid man performs his hit song "Oh Yeah!" before a startling crowd of one jillion.]]
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{{Q|Oh Yeaaaaaaaah!!!!|Mr. Kool Aid|Orgasming}}
   
'''Kool Aid''' was a benefit concert held on [[July]] Threeve, [[1987]] in multiple venues, including Funkytown, Coolsville, and the East Side of [[London]]. Not to be confused with poisonous drink used by the Jamestown [[massacre]], the concert was held in order to help cool people everywhere, who were struggling to maintain their hip status in a world filled with squares. Over 700,000 people attended live, and approximately 278 trillion people watched on [[television]]. The concert raised over $382,023,284,308 dollars for cool person relief.
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[[Image:Koolaidconcert.JPG|thumb|The Kool-Aid man performs his hit song "Oh Yeah!" before a startling crowd of one jillion.]]
   
  +
'''Kool Aid''' was a benefit concert held on [[July]] Threeve, [[1987]] in multiple venues, including Funkytown, Coolsville, and the East Side of [[London]]. Not to be confused with poisonous drink used by the Jonestown [[massacre]], the concert was held in order to help [[cool]] people everywhere, who were struggling to maintain their hip status in a world filled with [[square]]s. Over 700,000 people attended live, and approximately 278 trillion people watched on [[television]]. The concert raised over $382,023,284,308 dollars for cool person relief.
  +
{{wikipedia}}
 
==Beginnings==
 
==Beginnings==
 
Renowned cool person [[Elvis Costello]] went through [[cowation]] one day and realized that coolness is precious, and that [[everybody]] "needs to appreciate cool people and their incredibly fashionable ways." Costello noted that coolness is often taken for granted. So, to help those who are cool remain cool, Costello started "Keep the Kool Kickin'" (or [[Keep the Kool Kickin'|KKK]]), which quickly became a very popular charitable organisation. Using the charity's reasonably expected popularity, Costello decided to put on a concert which would hopefully not only prevent cowation and de-coolness in the [[future]], but also help other people become cool in the process.
 
Renowned cool person [[Elvis Costello]] went through [[cowation]] one day and realized that coolness is precious, and that [[everybody]] "needs to appreciate cool people and their incredibly fashionable ways." Costello noted that coolness is often taken for granted. So, to help those who are cool remain cool, Costello started "Keep the Kool Kickin'" (or [[Keep the Kool Kickin'|KKK]]), which quickly became a very popular charitable organisation. Using the charity's reasonably expected popularity, Costello decided to put on a concert which would hopefully not only prevent cowation and de-coolness in the [[future]], but also help other people become cool in the process.
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==Coordination==
 
==Coordination==
 
The event was staged by Funtime Partye Plannerse, a group based in [[Mediocre Britain]]. Thus the entire thing was quite unorganised. Bands went on at random times, often causing confusion. Such an instance would be when Ashford and Simpson was introduced as [[Ashlee Simpson]], causing widespread panic and a few suicides. Still, the concert was a smash success.
 
The event was staged by Funtime Partye Plannerse, a group based in [[Mediocre Britain]]. Thus the entire thing was quite unorganised. Bands went on at random times, often causing confusion. Such an instance would be when Ashford and Simpson was introduced as [[Ashlee Simpson]], causing widespread panic and a few suicides. Still, the concert was a smash success.
  +
[[Image:KoolAidJonestown.gif|right|thumb|200px|This drink is sponsored by the concert Kool Aid.]]
   
 
==Performers==
 
==Performers==
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* Snap, Crackle, and Pop
 
* Snap, Crackle, and Pop
 
* Wham!
 
* Wham!
  +
* [[mr. T]]
 
* [[Oscar Wilde]]
 
* [[Oscar Wilde]]
 
* The Burtles
 
* The Burtles
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* Chumbawamba
 
* Chumbawamba
 
* The Fonz
 
* The Fonz
  +
* [[Joe Camel]]
 
* [[Scale (music)#Ray Charles|Ray Charles]]
 
* [[Scale (music)#Ray Charles|Ray Charles]]
 
* Turner Overdrive
 
* Turner Overdrive
 
* Ashford and Simpson
 
* Ashford and Simpson
 
* Durban Durban
 
* Durban Durban
  +
* Johnny Bravo
 
* Tony Toni Tone
 
* Tony Toni Tone
 
* [[G-Dub]]
 
* [[G-Dub]]
 
* Arrow Smythe
 
* Arrow Smythe
* Rob Dylan
+
* Bob Dylan
 
* Bobby Sherman
 
* Bobby Sherman
 
* Grandpa Jones
 
* Grandpa Jones
  +
* [[Thierry Henry]]
  +
* [http://savescrappy.blogspot.com/ Lemon Aid]
  +
* La Chupacabra
   
==Rob Dylan controversy==
+
==Bob Dylan controversy==
Rob Dylan sparked a fire storm of controversy with this comment:
+
Bob Dylan sparked a fire storm of controversy with this comment:
 
:''Errr whaa, uuhh daaaa uhhh waaah! Eees daaa, ooh swaaa... ooh kaaa, faar maah!''
 
:''Errr whaa, uuhh daaaa uhhh waaah! Eees daaa, ooh swaaa... ooh kaaa, faar maah!''
   
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* Satan was yet another victim of the [[Pants Vaporizer]] while in the middle of his song [[Hell]]'s Smells. Satan blushed and ran off stage.
 
* Satan was yet another victim of the [[Pants Vaporizer]] while in the middle of his song [[Hell]]'s Smells. Satan blushed and ran off stage.
 
* Kool-Aid Man claimed 12,000 new victims and the fans cheered for more.
 
* Kool-Aid Man claimed 12,000 new victims and the fans cheered for more.
  +
* Fonzy opened the show after being diagnosed with his 3rd case of Gonorrhea.
  +
* As it was his birthday, Chuck Norris ended the show by selecting 1 lucky child, and hurling him into the Sun.
  +
  +
==Tragedy at Funkytown==
  +
Shortly after the concert Someone fell into Kool-Aid Man and 2 others
  +
tried to save him and also fell in and drowned
  +
when asked about Kool-Aid man man said "Oh NOOOoooo"
   
 
==Memorable moments at Coolsville==
 
==Memorable moments at Coolsville==
 
* Tony the Tiger announced that he and Farrah Fawcett were dating, and that she was "Grrrrreat!" in the bedroom.
 
* Tony the Tiger announced that he and Farrah Fawcett were dating, and that she was "Grrrrreat!" in the bedroom.
 
* Ray Charles played quite a prank on the audience when he suddenly stopped in the middle of a song, took off his sunglasses and yelled, "Holy [[crap]], I can see!!!" He then said "Just kidding" and continued the song.
 
* Ray Charles played quite a prank on the audience when he suddenly stopped in the middle of a song, took off his sunglasses and yelled, "Holy [[crap]], I can see!!!" He then said "Just kidding" and continued the song.
* Wham! member George Michael touched his butt.
+
* Wham! member George Michael touched his butt, and, after the show, a stranger's penis in a bathroom stall.
  +
* Johnny Bravo did "the monkey" for a world record of 5 hours.
   
 
==Memorable moments at the East Side of London==
 
==Memorable moments at the East Side of London==
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==Accomplishments==
 
==Accomplishments==
Kool Aid is attributed with the official [[death]] of [[Disco]].
+
[[Image:Ohno!.jpg|thumb|Remeber Kids, Kool Aid is better with Cocaine]]Kool Aid is attributed with the official [[death]] of [[Disco]] and the construction of [[New Bjork City]].
  +
  +
==The Mascot==
  +
The product mascot of Kool-Aid is a gigantic anthropomorphic pitcher filled with some kind of anonymous red liquid (Maybe it's drugs, who knows?) that seemingly at random bursts through walls with complete disregard for human life, causing countless thousands of dollars in property damage. He then chuckles and utters his thought-terminating catchphrase 'Oh Yeah!'. By the interpretation that he says 'Oh Yeah!' and hangs around kids often may reveal that the Kool-Aid mascot is none other than a pedophile. He has yet to be apprehended, so if you know anything about the wherabouts of this wanted fugitive, please call 1-800-555-KOOL or notify your local authorities, and consider him armed and very dangerous.
   
  +
==After Math==
  +
At First Kool Aid was viewed as an immediate success, but now in retrospective it is viewed as an absolute tragedy as it resulted in over 100,000 Kool-Aid drownings, 1,000 cases of STD's, and even a new STD that apparently came from The Fonz, Fonzerrhea.
  +
==See also==
  +
*[[Soft drink]]
  +
*[[Jim Jones]]
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*[[Cool|Kool]]
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*[[Bill O'Reilly]]
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*[[Heaven's Gate]]
   
{{VFH}}
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{{FA|date=13 July 2005|revision=99196}}
   
[[Category: Beverages]][[Category: Music]]
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[[Category:Beverages]]
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[[Category:Music events]]

Latest revision as of 21:04, April 25, 2012

“Oh Yeaaaaaaaah!!!!”
~ Mr. Kool Aid on Orgasming
Koolaidconcert

The Kool-Aid man performs his hit song "Oh Yeah!" before a startling crowd of one jillion.

Kool Aid was a benefit concert held on July Threeve, 1987 in multiple venues, including Funkytown, Coolsville, and the East Side of London. Not to be confused with poisonous drink used by the Jonestown massacre, the concert was held in order to help cool people everywhere, who were struggling to maintain their hip status in a world filled with squares. Over 700,000 people attended live, and approximately 278 trillion people watched on television. The concert raised over $382,023,284,308 dollars for cool person relief.

Bouncywikilogo8
For the religious among us who choose to believe lies, the so-called experts at Wikipedia have an article about Kool Aid.

edit Beginnings

Renowned cool person Elvis Costello went through cowation one day and realized that coolness is precious, and that everybody "needs to appreciate cool people and their incredibly fashionable ways." Costello noted that coolness is often taken for granted. So, to help those who are cool remain cool, Costello started "Keep the Kool Kickin'" (or KKK), which quickly became a very popular charitable organisation. Using the charity's reasonably expected popularity, Costello decided to put on a concert which would hopefully not only prevent cowation and de-coolness in the future, but also help other people become cool in the process.

edit Coordination

The event was staged by Funtime Partye Plannerse, a group based in Mediocre Britain. Thus the entire thing was quite unorganised. Bands went on at random times, often causing confusion. Such an instance would be when Ashford and Simpson was introduced as Ashlee Simpson, causing widespread panic and a few suicides. Still, the concert was a smash success.

KoolAidJonestown

This drink is sponsored by the concert Kool Aid.

edit Performers

edit Bob Dylan controversy

Bob Dylan sparked a fire storm of controversy with this comment:

Errr whaa, uuhh daaaa uhhh waaah! Eees daaa, ooh swaaa... ooh kaaa, faar maah!

He is often misquoted as saying "Arrr whee, oooh doooo waaa waaa", which is quite silly indeed. Historian Pantifield MacKenzie was rather critical of Dylan in his biography:

What an asshole.

edit Memorable moments at Funkytown

  • Laughs were aplenty when former US president Gerald Ford did what appeared to be a pratfall upon his entrance. However, it was soon realized that the fall was indeed an accident, and a severe one at that. Ford was rushed to the hospital but died on arrival.
  • A small nerdy child was invited to the stage. The Fonz then gave a touching speech, which included the memorable line "Ayyyy! This kid ain't cool, he needs your help! Ayyyy!"
  • Satan was yet another victim of the Pants Vaporizer while in the middle of his song Hell's Smells. Satan blushed and ran off stage.
  • Kool-Aid Man claimed 12,000 new victims and the fans cheered for more.
  • Fonzy opened the show after being diagnosed with his 3rd case of Gonorrhea.
  • As it was his birthday, Chuck Norris ended the show by selecting 1 lucky child, and hurling him into the Sun.

edit Tragedy at Funkytown

Shortly after the concert Someone fell into Kool-Aid Man and 2 others tried to save him and also fell in and drowned when asked about Kool-Aid man man said "Oh NOOOoooo"

edit Memorable moments at Coolsville

  • Tony the Tiger announced that he and Farrah Fawcett were dating, and that she was "Grrrrreat!" in the bedroom.
  • Ray Charles played quite a prank on the audience when he suddenly stopped in the middle of a song, took off his sunglasses and yelled, "Holy crap, I can see!!!" He then said "Just kidding" and continued the song.
  • Wham! member George Michael touched his butt, and, after the show, a stranger's penis in a bathroom stall.
  • Johnny Bravo did "the monkey" for a world record of 5 hours.

edit Memorable moments at the East Side of London

  • Nothing memorable happened at the East Side of London.

edit Accomplishments

Ohno!

Remeber Kids, Kool Aid is better with Cocaine

Kool Aid is attributed with the official death of Disco and the construction of New Bjork City.

edit The Mascot

The product mascot of Kool-Aid is a gigantic anthropomorphic pitcher filled with some kind of anonymous red liquid (Maybe it's drugs, who knows?) that seemingly at random bursts through walls with complete disregard for human life, causing countless thousands of dollars in property damage. He then chuckles and utters his thought-terminating catchphrase 'Oh Yeah!'. By the interpretation that he says 'Oh Yeah!' and hangs around kids often may reveal that the Kool-Aid mascot is none other than a pedophile. He has yet to be apprehended, so if you know anything about the wherabouts of this wanted fugitive, please call 1-800-555-KOOL or notify your local authorities, and consider him armed and very dangerous.

edit After Math

At First Kool Aid was viewed as an immediate success, but now in retrospective it is viewed as an absolute tragedy as it resulted in over 100,000 Kool-Aid drownings, 1,000 cases of STD's, and even a new STD that apparently came from The Fonz, Fonzerrhea.

edit See also

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