From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
“Everyone would talk on knowledge expansion, but no one would tell you the exact mechanism by which human knowledge expands!!! That mechanism is a trillion dollar secret”
“I know that I am intelligent, because I know that I know nothing..... Nah, I'm just fucking with you, I know a fuckload of shit!!!”
“Different things can
notbe studied with the same knowledge!!!”
“Ignorance is Strength.”
“Knowledge is power. Power is strong. Garlic is strong, therefore knowledge is garlic.”
“I knew it! I knew it!”
Knowledge is a rare and tragic disease, not recognized as such by the many trash collectors claiming to be professors. It is 100% fatal, with recent studies showing that 85% of the time, 4 1/2 out of 7 people died each time they were imbued with it. So little is actually known about knowledge that it becomes difficult to express anything other than contempt for the unknown.
edit The Fruit of All Evil
Some people say that money is the
fruit root of all evil, but actually it's knowledge. It is very simple, knowledge leads to power, power leads to corruption, corruption leads to STD's which are ruining the gaming industry as we know it. Knowledge was the fruit in Eve's hand, which was plucked from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil. He who takes a bite from the evil fruit of knowledge will surely die, because the Bible says so. Therefore, knowledge is a very very VERY bad thing, having nothing whatsoever to do with intelligence or the human mind. It is simply the sweet sticky juicy pulp of a biblical fruit, and nothing more. If you never eat fruit, you will never die. Bottom line. A little knowledge is allegedly a dangerous thing, whereas complete ignorance is reportedly "bliss".
edit Education Is To Blame, as Usual
Teachers are the greatest single spreaders of the plague of knowledge, and in this author's opinion, are worse even than Saddam Hussein and Osama bin Laden combined, in their quest to destroy the world with proliferation of weapons of mass instruction, including text books, electronic blackboards, and the worst of all, schools.
Intelligence is sometimes confused with knowledge, and many colleges and universities have tried to swindle people into believing that if you take a bite of the fruit of knowledge (for a more often than not astronomical cost) your dumbass will become magically smart, but those of us "in the know" know that intelligence is not for sale at any price. We also advise the dummies out there to stay far away from fruit trees in beautiful gardens, because you never know.
edit Stopping the Unchecked Spread of Knowledge
We Americans needn't fear, however, as our glorious and fearful leader President George W. Bush is well underway in his plan to eliminate knowledge from every aspect of American life, beginning with his own administration. By refusing to appoint to positions of power anyone properly educated for the position, "W" has not only succeeded in keeping the White House completely sterile of knowledge, but also of "sticking it to" those damned disease spreading teachers. All over the world, children look to the leader of the Free World for inspiration on eradicating every last trace of knowledge from the Earth. He didn't give into peer pressure from teachers, they say, and he became president. And I can, too!.
edit Financial effects
New studies have proven that, not only is knowledge lethal, but it may also have negative financial effects. According to physics,power is equal to work over time, and, since knowledge is power and time is money, we are left with Knowledge being equal to work over money, now, using algebra, we can eaisy switch this around, with use of cross multiplication and wind up with Money being equal to work over knowledge. Now, as knowledge approaces 0, money approaches infinity, however, as knowledge increases, money approaches 0. The more money you have the less money you gain and very soon you will be in debt. For example if you won the lotto (AUS $100,000,000) in about 3 months you will lose it all as you are too dumb to save it properly.
edit Known, But can't be Known
People of knowledge say that knowledge has no boundaries. But, they do not know how to prove that knowledge has no boundaries. Can you prove that knowledge has no boundaries?
edit Set all books on fire
Buybull says reproduction is sin. Modern scientists say repeating knowledge is a sin. No one dares to ask:
- What is the use of the knowledge which cannot be repeated?
- What knolwedge can be repeated?
- What knolwedge cannot be repeated?
No one has acquired any knowledge to answer these questions! WOW!
Set all books on fire because no knowledge in them can be repeated and no knowledge in them should be repeated! Do not listen to your teachers or pastors, or mom and dad because none of their knowledge can be repeated and none of their knowledge should be repeated! But, do not forget to buy our books because we need your money. Do not forget to send your children to our schools and colleges, because we need your money. Listen to us, because we want you and your children to be our employees (slaves)!
edit Famous People Who Acquired Knowledge
- Big Jock
- Horrendous Villainous
- Evil evil anti lynching committies
- Joe Dirt