Knight Rider

Ein Auto!! Ein Computer!! Ein Mann!!

Translation: One self driving car can make one drunk mans difference

Historically, the Germans looked up to Knight Rider as the role model for a heroic and brave super soldier from the 80's. His dry wit and uni-sexual appeal made him a man amongst mice. He has been credited with uniting the German provinces into a unified Germania, though recent research disputes this.

Knight Rider first rose to fame as an actor, playing the role of Michael Knight, the fifth person in the science fiction TV-show The A-Team.

His drive to unity, as described by his plan, which he called With Blood and Leather. The plan was a preemptive strike, guided by a history book from the future. In the end , Knight Rider was able to stop Lt. Klinger from stealing the heritage of Germania.

The complete and utter victory that he had against Otto Von Bismark marked the end of The Second World War 2. Thus, he became the creator of Germania.

Modern Day Knight Rider

A typical episode often placed Michael Knight hanging outside local high schools attempting to impress teenage girls with his leather jacket, pseudo-mullet and trendy catchphrases.

Today, Knight Rider continues to protect freedom and beaches with his lovable and monotonic talking car KITT the turbo boosting Pontiac Trans Am. He fights in the deserts of Australia, defending the roads from gasoline bandits, aero-gyro thieves, and other unsavory Highway Bandits. He has become such an influential peace keeper, that Australia bestowed upon him the Order of the Road Warrior, the highest honor bestowed to a German. Also Michael Knight's hairstyle is now involved in a Pay Per View event where it will try to out act William Shatner's genetically modified wig and the guest referee will be the worlds richest comb-over, the only thing that will be left after a nuclear war, and probably has caused more damage to the ozone layer than China and the US combined, none other than Donald Trump's gravity defying hairdo (going where no hair has gone before). Please note that this will contain scenes that some viewers may find disturbing. Very disturbing. Yes, even more disturbing than former Illinois governor Rod Blagojevich's hair.

The Future of Knight Rider

The most unemployed drivers ever

There will always be a future for Knight Rider, as there will always be generations of Germans to look up to him. Knight Rider has passed on the duty of protecting cars from the destructive forces of potholes to a new breed of Knights of Rides, known as Team Knight Rider. Unfortunately KITT was not capable of reaching the minimum speed limit on German Autobahn. KITT has now retired from fame after a rumored sex scandal with Herbie the love bug.

These young, hip , and unemployed drivers use a variety of uncool vehicles to mete out justice to Los Banditos De Asphalt. Using SUV's, Aerodynamic street bikes, German military panzer's and poorly manufactured American street racers, they deliver justice to where it is needed, somewhere close to Route 66.

Media Empire

Knight Rider also owns a legion of newspapers in the United States. However, these newspapers produce entirely lies. When other media accused them of being venal, they attempted to bribe them to keep it quiet, but now we know; and knowing is half the battle.

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