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Here's a picture of a Kitty-Giraffe named Freightshine who's on the hunt for some Sky-Tuna, she's happy because the Sky-Tuna are flying low today. The name "Freightshine" is actually Kitty-Giraffe for "Brigitte".

The Kitty-Giraffe (Brigittous-Kittyrawrus-Giraffica-Metallica-Listentous) is an even-toed ungulate mammal, the tallest of all extant land-living animal. The average mass for an adult female giraffe is adult female (body) is 13 ft. while the neck can be up to 88 feet in length, Just long enough to snatch low-flying sky tuna out of the sky with their small kitty-like fangs, or eat from a 101 ft. Cherry Pie tree as their main source of food/income. The Kitty-Giraffe has come about by evolving over the coarse of 13 billions years from 16 year old girls named Brigitte who are of Irish heritage, and now inhabit what you would call modern day Ohio. Its range extends from Western Ohio to Eastern Ohio, as shown below.

Kitty-Giraffes usually inhabit the grassy plains of Ohio, or open woodlands. However, when food is scarce they will venture into areas denser with schools of sky tuna, or Cherry pie trees. They prefer areas with plenty of pie growth. They will drink large quantities of milk from the milk clouds using 1300 ft. straws that grow in the straw forests, which seem to be plenty full in Ohio 13 billion A.D. which enables them to take extended kitty-naps for long periods of time. The kitty-giraffe's fur is Crimson red with purple patches to makes them very easy to spot in large green pastures by their herd of family and or friends.

Ohio States of America

Map of the USA, year 13 billion A.D. (Nobody knows what goes on in "'Johnny's Wasteland', or who "Johnny" is, but one can only imagine the horrors.)

edit Culture

Kitty-Giraffes like in most human societies have their very own styles of living separate and varying from tribe to tribe. Some Kitty-Giraffes actually prefer Spaghetti over sky tuna and cherry pie, but that's only 1 of over 13,000 Kitty-Giraffe tribes scattered all over Ohio. The most intriguing part of Kitty-Giraffe culture is that All of them seem to be drawn to the music of Metallica as if they cannot get enough of it. Kitty-Giraffe poachers use this to their advantage when trying to trap them to get a hold of their tiny fangs which they crush into a powder and sell it on the streets of Cleveland Ohio for $1300.00 an ounce as an aphrodisiac for baby elephants.

edit Dialect

Most Kitty-Giraffe tribes have been known to use their own personalized dialect, but All tribes of the same species are able to speak one unified language from the moment of birth known as "Brig-Brig" which they can all understand and also write/speak. Brig-Brig is a mix of German/Irish-Gaelic/French/Kitty/Giraffe. Many have tried to translate this language to get more insight on their odd and superior/futuristic culture, but very few have ever succeeded. The only Kitty-Giraffe words ever translated are the following:

  • Kerblaughticplau = "Goodbye, I love you"
  • Depleitenzurh = "I like pie!"
  • Roishaydieklawkenstauf = "Sky-Tuna"
  • Wefklettenklaeghtz = "Metallica is awesome"
  • Plirfashtufforzyte = "The milk clouds are raining, hurray!"

edit Mating Habits

A common preparation mating habit for a female Kitty-Giraffe right before mating is to play music by Metallica or Styx as loudly as possible to invite a male to come and sodomize it. Depending on how red the male's coat is, the more likely the mating will be successful. There's an old saying in Kitty-Giraffe culture "The redder, the better".

edit Famous Literature


A typical... um (These things make Kitty-giraffes very happy).

The most famous story ever written by and for Kitty-Giraffes is titled "The most incredible love story ever written before about a struggle between an extraordinarily short Kitty-Giraffe and a Puppy-Ostrage trying to get to a Metallica concert and the Puppy-Ostrage ends up saving the day by buying an elevator from a nearby elevator store so that the Kitty-Giraffe can reach the top of the pie tree to get food and have the energy to get to the concert in time". Though the title itself is the story, the Kitty-Giraffes don't seem to mind the spoiler.

edit See Also

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