Kitten juggling
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“There is no greater horror.”
~ Oscar Wilde on Kitten juggling
Kitten juggling is a barbaric and sadistic sport enjoyed only by pedophiles, mass-murderers, State Senators and Kenneth Ocker II. Kitten juggling is highly illegal. This article should be used for research purposes only. It is neither endorsed by the editor nor by Uncyclopedia. Never attempt kitten juggling, not even with a safety helmet, water wings, a chemical fume hood, and your lucky shark plushie.
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[edit] Definition
Something a poor black guy did in The Jerk.
(Editor's note: Well not a black guy. He was white. And rich. He thought he was black but he was adopted. Well I guess it wasn't him, kind of. It was Steve Martin. He was watching himself juggle cats in The Jerk. Well, he was playing a character that was watching his other character juggle cats. That's the black guy. The guy watching. Who isn't black. Oh, and he wasn't poor anymore.)
[edit] Actual Definition
This section has been removed due to pending litigation.
[edit] History
Kitten juggling has a dark and secret past. Way too dark and secret for the Internet.
[edit] In the Media
[edit] The Jerk
The film, The Jerk, was the first form of media to portray kitten juggling in any form. Once the movie was released news of the "kitten juggling scene" spread like wildfire and enraged even the most liberal minded of the time. The Jerk was immediately pulled from theaters and received an emergency re-rating of "double R" by the MPAA. Many people associated with the film went into hiding and others suffered irreversible harm. Most notably, the son of one of the film's producers, Chet Nostenby, was stoned by an angry mob in downtown Los Angeles while the police watched.
[edit] Steve Martin
Steve Martin who claimed to have been duped into performing in "The Scene" vowed to never star in a comedy again. Many predicted an end to his career but Martin reinvented himself by starring in dramas such as The Out-of-Towners, Father of the Bride, Father of the Bride Part 2, Cheaper by the Dozen, and Cheaper by the Dozen 2.
[edit] Equipment
[edit] How to Kitten Juggle
This section has been removed due to pending litigation.
[edit] See also
- Juggling
- Kittens
- Kitten juggling
- Kitten hurling battle
- Kitten Huffing
- Baseball
