Kitler

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Despite the Cats That Look Like Hitler craze sweeping the interwebs these days there is no doubt the Kitler master race exists.

Kitler hates you and Mews
Kitler1
The Holy Kitler
Species Kittens
Classification The only Cats that look like Nixon Hitler
Position Fuhrer of Germany and conqueror of France.
Motive To kill all Mews
Weapon Their meowing
Super Powers Cutiness
Born 20th April, 1889.
Death Date 30th April, 1945.

Adorable little Cats aside, it is a proven fact that Kitler is out to get you.

edit Do I have a Kitler?

You know your cat is a Kitler when it does 2 or more of the following things.

  • It Hates Americans
  • Killer cats killin all humans, watch the hell out yo, it be ridiculous* It isn't home a lot
  • It has small moustache
  • It looks like it is Emo, which it probably is
  • It once ALWAYS TRIED TO TAKE OVER THE WORLD
  • It pisses on your sheets and lips when you're asleep
  • It falls asleep on your face so often that it seems as if it is doing it on purpose, which it is!
  • It signs a tweety with Pussolini
  • Forces you to eat it's fecal matter (maybe urine).
  • It likes little kits.
  • Eats your food/ urinates on your food very often.
  • Comes up with a Final Solution
2fbcc22d6c2d22211594838517bcf25e

Hitler and Kitler doing their Famous happy Nazi Dance.


Frankie

Nazi Kittens attack a defenseless Mewish shopkeeper

  • has left to join the cazi/nazi.

edit So you have a Kitler

Don't fear, here some rules to help take care of your kitler.

  • Don't let it get fat. It will hate you more if it is fat.
  • Don't try to cuddle with it. It will hate you more, and you'll come out of it severely injured.
  • Don't let it near the news or newspaper. It's better that you don't know why.
  • Don't smile when you see it, they hate smil-smile, smile at it, anything to get you killed.
  • Don't get a dog, that's the last thing you want. Especially if you wish the dog to stay alive.
  • Don't let it go outside. It may never come back.
  • Don't attempt to huff a Kitler! This will be disastrous for all involved.
  • Don't shave it or try to dye it's hair/'tash unless you want to look like a scratching post.
  • Don't let it near any Mews. Actually, scratch that one. This is usually entertaining.
  • If you wish to keep your kitler alive, keep it away from the Non-Huffable Kitten at all costs!
  • Pretend to enjoy cleaning out its litterbox. This will amuse it.
  • If you wish to kill a Kitler, let it live for a while or get like 10 catdiers to painfully and amusingly kill it.
  • Give it your food, It will like watching you eat their food. Cat food is actually tasty
  • Don't get another kitten if you want it alive. Kitlers only like the orange ones and may use it for Kitten Huffing or a very useful catdier or very rarely, friend.

edit Legacy

HitlerCat

With internet memes so popular these days Cats often enjoy dressing up for costume parties. Sieg Heil!

Helloapocalypse

Kitler as a young kitten.

Kitler is internationally renowned for being a murderer of innocent Mews during WWII (Wild Warping #2). Many infamous concentration camps were established under his reign, including "Meowshwitz", where Mews were killed mercilessly. Popular methods of murder were:

- Attaching Kitler's mouth to a pipe which eventually led to hermetically sealed room, where awaited a voluminous amount of Mews; one whiff of Kitler's breath could kill all.

- Stabbation with a fang of one of his minions. These fangs are diamond hard and, again, stink like shit.

- Shooting. Nothing special about this.

Hitler phones the talking cat01:15

Hitler phones the talking cat


Hitler phones Kitler while the last is drunk.

edit The future of Kitlerdom

Kittenborg

The descendants of Kitler will figure prominently in your future.

Currently, all Kitlers are hatching a world-wide plot to ressurect the Nazi party and take over the world. If you see your kitler acting suspiciously, TURN THEM IN, and win a free t-shirt! Notably strange activity includes: Disapearing, tendency to sleep while standing up, lack of blinking and ordering yellow-cake uranium on teh interwebz

edit See Also

Postnazi

Kitler is in the Post van

edit External links

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