King of the Hill

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THIS ARTICLE NEEDS A STEAMROLLER!!!
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But be italic! DO IT!!!

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“Computers don't make errors. What they do, they do on purpose.”

~ Dale Gribble on Uncyclopedia

“Um, yes, I'd reckon I have me a question 'bout sum propane accessories...”

~ Red Green on propane

“Uh huh huh huh, this sucks!”

~ Butthead on King of the Hill

“Yeah, mmm hmm hmm...it REALLY sucks!”

~ Beavis on King of the Hill

“Wank grinks a lot of propane.”

~ King Dedede on Wank's will

King of the Hill was an animated series on the network FOX, which later said sorry for letting something so poor enter the world. It was short lived, lasting only one season from 1997-2006. Only 5 episodes aired between those years, although it's said that Satan is resurrecting the dead voice actors...

Contents

[edit] Summary

King of the Hill is possibly the <sarcasm> best show in the world </sarcasm>. It is a show about southern hicks living in Texas surrounded by idiots - familiar territory for most of the idiots that watch Fox. The cast include the Hill family and their friends, all of which get up to the most mundane adventures in the history of television.

It also has some Asian immigrants (probably illigals they seem to be very proud of their daughter thinking she is a supper genius.) It also has gay hank which for some reason dosent like sexual themes and has traumatised past due to his grandpa raping him in the eye.

Wank Hill is your typical conservative Southern white man who's angry about the Liberals in charge of everything. Yeah, Fox has this neo-con right-wing shit.

[edit] Garbage Characters

The King of the Hill (all of them) characters were inspired be Oscar the Grouch's garbage. Thats why that douchewipe Wank is über fugly like the ugly dog.

[edit] The A-Wipes

Main article: Hank Hill
Blobby Hill
Wank Hill- (voiced by Barack Obama) Mr. Wank Hill is a muslim, homosexual, propane lovin freak, and southern hick. Though he was the head of the family, he had many short cummings. He had a narrow Urethra with constant constipation along with chronic bloody diarrhea and severe fugliness, a disease which affects billions of people to this day. He is also the example for all "normal" males. He is also a alien from outer space but the shows never tell you that till the last episode. He also loves football and is obsessed with Tom Landry. His jewish wife is a nobody to him. He loves his Qu'ran and Eddie Stillson more.
Piggy Hill- (voiced by Sarah Palin) The naive, annoying, large foot-havin bitch of the family. Though Piggy was sweet at heart, many found her to be annoying and hated her from the start. In the final episode, producers killed off Piggy by having her get smashed by a giant boulder after she dropped the conch. Has known of Wank's secret but has never told him she knows because she is scared that Hank or Wank Will kill her to late. Wank later married Mooanne who was still married to Lucky. Lucky is a secret agent from Battlestar Galactica, a robot. He is also deply involved with Astro boy's creation Dr. Telma he is then called to try to kill dale for no particular reason. Dale finds out and is thought it was a alien.
Mooanne Butter- (not related to Butters) (voiced by Ann Coulter) The pretty, blonde, extremely retarded, hair stylist of the family. Mooanne is Piggy's sister's daughter, and is in no relation to Wank, other than being related only by marriage. She loves to design hair. However, in the first episode, Mooanne became distracted by a hot guy and accidentally cut off a customer's head. She was sentenced to 3 days in prison. after she go out she went to the gribbles house and asked joesph to do some things with him they went straight to connies house and also got bobby and had a big cum filled gangbang. afterwards they laid in the bed talking about what happened. they were laughing at the killing of beloved cotton in episode 3 to 4 episodes behind the newest one (season 12).They later watch Bobby and Connie make love which later causes Connie to get pregnant well disscus this later. Luckily, Hank isn't in the KKK.
Blobby "Fat-Ass Mothasucker" Hill- (voiced by Jesse Jackson) The short, fat, ugly, comedian of the family. Blobby is the "funny" (although he has confessed he is a douche) one, of whom Wank Hill is completely ashamed. He is known to walk around the house with his robe open, or pretty much naked at all times, which displeases Wank. In fact, In the 2nd episode, Wank disowns Blobby and beats the living shit out of him for being so lame. Blobby also likes some asian girl, who for unknown reasons likes him in return. He claims that he lost his virginity 974 times (971 of those times to a horny Burmese soldier with swine flu) but still claims to be a virgin which is not true if so she would know to use a condom when doing booby, he also lost his virginity to his puppy ladybird hill in the 6th grade. Blobby is a big fat gay retard.

[edit] Minor characters

Dale- (voiced by Robert De Niro) An annoying, dumb and stupid character who doesn't realize who his wife is sleeping with (everyone). He also has his son Joseph (which isn't really his), and a gun that isn't loaded because he's too poor. He is an exterminator with no knowledge of how to be one. He is in love of John Redcock and doesn't realise Joseph is his son. He claims its Mexican aliens at work who put his DNA on Nancy's body with someone else he is later finds out he has a daughter (not his), but assumes it is his. He's the idiot who believes George W. Bush is friends with Saddam Hussein.
Nancy- (voiced by Pamela Anderson) A slutty weather girl, and Dale's wife. She constantly cheats on Dale with John Redcock, a Native American. She is also a locally known TV news anchor woman due to her sucking so much. She later stops cheating on dale bur still loves him enough to have sex with him. Wank also had sex with her swimming naked or grilling (dirty wank).
John Redcock- (voiced by Hulk Hogan) Nancy's lover and general Shitting Bull wannabe. He's also the REAL father of Joseph, whom Dale is too fucking stupid to even think that he's the real father. He's Native American or in Texas, a "Prairie Nigger Boy".
Boomhauer- (voiced by Joe Pesci) The slick, heroin using, gibberish speaking retard of the crew. In episode 2, he got castrated for a bet he had with Dale, who later used his penis for personal reasons. And by personal reasons, I mean he got the raw balls and used them to have sex with Wank Hill so Wank Hill wouldn't think Dale had male to male sex with him. He still for some odd reason a player of the neighborhood but surprises me that he hasn't hit on Nancy. He has no penis but later gets a new one. He pays a hundred to the Arlen hospital, and many Texans knew who runs them hospitals.
Bill- (voiced by Adolf Hitler) A total loser with no life (Just like the voice actor). After his wife Lenore, a prostitute Bill bought rights to, left him for some e-burglar named Eric Bauman as he claimed, he became a total wreck. His only reason for being is his pathetic excuse for a job as a barber for the military. He's also fat, ugly and basically useless. He is fat loser who secretly watches porn and sells marijuana to Dale and Boomhauer, but shows total disgust at a man like Wank for bombing his car. He doesn't do anything but tried to kill himself and get Lenore back. He also hits on ugly fat chicks, which John Redcock tries to steal and succeeds so episode season 12 prostitute named Charlene.
Connie- (voiced by Andre the Giant) A little East Asian girl (from Laos) that is Blobby's girlfriend. She is as equally annoying and ugly as Blobby is so I guess they were meant for each other. Holy shit is this bitch ugly, even for an Asian chick. Yyyeeessshhh! She and Blobby had sex on his house. And you know the story about her getting pregnant!!!!!!!!!!!!!! She doesn't Know but still nothing ias known yet since it dosnt come up often and he might be Joseph's son.

Minh- (voiced by Batista) She's Connie's mother, and hates Piggy with a passion. Though similar to her husband, she's not as of a bitch as he is. She think she is hot and in no way is. She uses guns better than Dale and she can be one helluva bitch.

Kahn- (voiced by Kim Jong-Ill) Minh's husband and also Connie's father, a stuck-up whiny yuppie bitch who hates Wank and his family, although I don't blame him. Due to Wank being better at sports and more American than this Oriental rice-picker, Minh has a big case of "penis envy".

Joseph Gribble- (voiced by Joseph Stalin) The son of royal slut Nancy Gribble and her male prostitute John Redcock. Joseph is a homo who hangs around Blobby and is a stripper by night. Also he has a missing testicle due to a propane explosion. caused by Wank in mega low mart where he was smoking weed next to the propane tanks.

Mr. Strickland- (voiced by Jerry Springer) A fat old pervert who is Wank's boss. Basically a heart attack just waiting to happen, like Dick Cheney. He is a clone of him and is a big drunk and drug addict he is a rapist who beats up his wife consently.

Cotton Hill- (voiced by Marlon Brando) Wank's father. A racist, sexist, homophobe, ultra-nationalist and religious fundie, Cotton is very un-PC for prime time TV. He lost his shins in World War 2 while killing fifty men (be it Japs, Gooks, Krauts or Wops). He's a lying son of a bitch, perverted sicko asshole sucking man. His wife is 50 years younger than him and she knew Wank when she was in grade school (can't you believe having a step-mom your age?) He's a complete idiot who constently stabs a non-American's testicles with his knife. His youthfulness is still intact, he had a son at age 80 and most of all, Cotton would be a reincarnation of Archie Bunker of All in the Family.

Propane and propane accessories- The scene-stealer.

Ladybird- Wank's 43 yr old bitch and the reason for Blobby's existence. When Piggy & Wank were doing it, Ladybird relaxed Wank's narrow urethra with a reach around.yeah but wont happen again Hank's narrow urethra is getting less sperm due to him being gay he doesn't get horny often.

Lucky- The coolest person on the show. He's voiced by Tom Motherfucking Petty. He is an alien currently suckin gay astros boys' metal dick to stop him from destroying Earth.

[edit] Cancellation

FOX cancelled the show 145 times between 1997 and 2006, which is why only 5 episodes aired. The reason for cancellation was as stated by the FOX network "We simply couldnt stand this show. What a piece of crap. Every time we tried to cancel it, we received death threats from viewers. Finally I killed off the voice actors to make it look like it was an accident...wait, oops...I've said too much"

[edit] Episodes

There were only 5 episodes of King Of The Hill, stated above

Episode 1: "Big-Chief-Thwaking-Dick V.S. John Redcock" (aired: Feb 24, 1997)

Due to low ratings and lack of ideas, the pilot episode's script was improvised on the spot during animation.


Episode 2: "Mooanne's Murder Charge" (aired: Feb 24, 1997)

Wank picks up Mooanne after her parents are thrown in jail. The two find a nearby backroad, where Mooanne performs oral sex on Wank. Soon after, She meets Piggy and Blobby and is viciously attacked by Ladybird. She then decides to become a hair stylist. Finally after many months she gets her degree, she performs her first cutting. Sadly, being distracted by a hot guy, she accidentally cuts off the customer's head. The customer being Peter Griffin. Mooanne is convicted of murder and was sentenced to die by lethal injection.

Episode 3: "Plunk" (aired: August 27, 2000)

Piggy is concerned about her big feet. While Blobby wants penisplasty (he lost his the same way Boomhauer lost his), Ladybird commits suicide, and the rest of the gang become involved in a scheme that involves drug money and Mexico.


Episode 4: "The Porno Business" (aired: September 11, 2003)

Piggy gets caught up in the porno business for men who have that creepy foot fetish after signing a form for a 'Package Holiday'. Wank finds out about this and proceeds to threaten to shoot Bill pointblank using Dale's shotgun. When he finds out there are no bullets in it because Dale is a cheap bastard, he beats Bill nearly to death with it. Later, everyone makes up for that day apart from Bill, who picked up a hooker and got AIDS. Meanwhile, Blobby loses his shorts at the water park, and everyone sees his big fat ass.


Episode 5: "The Day Piggy and Wank Dies" (aired: October 31, 2006)

Piggy and Wank get into a huge fight, causing him to smack the hell out of Piggy. She then tries to get revenge on him by sleeping with Nancy. The Hills and friends decide to go shopping and Piggy gets her big ass feet caught in the escalator and dies horribly and painfully, not to mention bloodfully. at the funeral, everybody laughs. Blobby had sex with Michael Jackson, Wank was killed when a bomb went off at Strickland Propane. Bill, Blobby, Dale, and Michael Jackson were gunned down in a drive-by shooting after a drug deal.

[edit] DVD(s)

So far, only QVC is selling non-copyrighted, bootleged, DVDs of the complete series for 7 easy payments of 37.95.

[edit] Quotes

Wank: You know you are a redneck if you watch my shitty show.


Blobby: My life sucks.


Blobby: (After seeing Wank and Piggy have sex on the couch). Dad, why is Mom sucking your cock?

Wank: Damn it Blobby, Where did you learn to talk like that?

Blobby: Mooanne taught me, we had sex the other night.

Wank: Well Mooanne is going to get raped tonight I tell ya what.


Bill: Hey, Wank. (Wank looks, Bill farts in Wank's mouth).

Wank: (Vomiting) UGH! Bill you son of a bitch, I'M GONNA KILL YOU!


Piggy: Blobby, could you wipe my ass?


Dale: (Pointing gun at Boomhauer). Boomhauer, Where are my fucking bags of marijuana?

Boomhauer: (Pointing bigger gun at Dale). Dang ol' go fuck your mother, man.


Wank: Get the fuck outta here you damn bitch, I'm fucking Piggy!


Mooanne: I love being a whore!


Wank: Damn it Blobby!


Nancy: Sug, I have a headache, I'm going to need some time alone with John Redcock.

Dale: When you get home, will you suck my cock?

Nancy: I will, until then, here's some porn while I'm gone.

Dale: Awesome! it's gangbang videos!


Mooanne: How do you want it? slow or fast?

Joseph: Fast! with a lot of cum! And a blowjob!

Mooanne: OK, 2 hours, $80.00


Wank: Blobby, I've got propane in my urethra

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