King of the Hill

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“This show is genuinely true yet funny.”

~ Captain Obvious

“Computers don't make errors. What they do, they do on purpose.”

~ Dale Gribble on Uncyclopedia

“Um, yes, I'd reckon I have me a question 'bout sum propane accessories...”

~ Oscar Wilde on propane

“I swear judge the original was worse!! this neede a rewrite!.”

~ Butt-Head on King of the Hill

“Imma' kick your ass, I'll tell you what!”

~ Hank Hill on His solution to everything

King of the Hill is about a ~~seemingly~~ normal family of the middle class variety that live in Arlen, Texas (Arlen cannot be found on Google Middle Earth, Hyrule, Earth, or anywhere for that matter because It doesn't Exist) and happen to run across some problem in each episode as a result of Propane, Propane explosions, Propane accessories, or their annoying ass neighbors who have nothing else to do. Did I mention that Hank haz an unhealthy obsession for Propane?

Wank Hill- (voiced by Barack Obama) Mr. Wank Hill is a Satanist, homosexual, Cum lovin freak, and southern hick. Though he was the head of the family, he had many short cummings. He had a narrow Urethra with constant constipation along with chronic bloody Hernia and severe fugliness, a disease which affects Schools of people to this day. He is also the example for all "normal" males. He is also a alien from outer space but the shows never tell you that till the last episode. He also loves football and is obsessed with Tom Landry. His Nazi wife is a nobody to him. He loves his Qu'ran and Eddie Stillson more.

Niggy Hill- (voiced by Sarah Palin) The naive, annoying, large foot-havin bitch of the family. Though Niggy was sweet at heart, many found her to be annoying and hated her from the start. In the final episode, producers killed off Niggy by having her get smashed by a giant boulder after she dropped the conch. Has known of Wank's secret but has never told him she knows because she is scared that Hank or Wank Will kill her to late. Wank later married Mooanne who was still married to Lucky. Lucky is a secret agent from Battlestar Galactica, a robot. He is also deply involved with Astro boy's creation Dr. Telma he is then called to try to kill dale for no particular reason. Dale finds out and is thought it was a alien.

Mooanne Butter- (not related to Butters) (voiced by Nancy Pelosi) The pretty, blonde, extremely retarded, hair stylist of the family. Mooanne is Niggy's sister's daughter, and is in no relation to Wank, other than being related only by marriage. She loves to design hair. However, in the first episode, Mooanne became distracted by a hot guy and accidentally cut off a customer's head. She was sentenced to 3 days in prison. after she go out she went to the gribbles house and asked joesph to do some things with him they went straight to connies house and also got bobby and had a big cum filled gangbang. afterwards they laid in the bed talking about what happened. they were laughing at the killing of beloved cotton in episode 3 to 4 episodes behind the newest one (season 12).They later watch Bobby and Connie make love which later causes Connie to get pregnant well disscus this later. Luckily, Hank isn't in the KKK.

Blobby "Fat-Ass Mothasucker" Hill- (voiced by Jesse Jackson) The short, fat, ugly, comedian of the family. Blobby is the "funny" (although he has confessed he is a douche) one, of whom Wank Hill is completely ashamed. He is known to walk around the house with his robe open, or pretty much naked at all times, which displeases Wank. In fact, In the 2nd episode, Wank disowns Blobby and beats the living shit out of him for being so lame. Blobby also likes some asian girl, who for unknown reasons likes him in return. He claims that he lost his virginity 974 times (971 of those times to a horny Burmese soldier with swine flu) but still claims to be a virgin which is not true if so she would know to use a condom when doing booby, he also lost his virginity to his puppy ladybird hill in the 6th grade. Blobby is a big fat gay retard.

Luanne during her debut

[edit] Minor characters

Dale- (voiced by Robert De Niro) An annoying, Redneck character who doesn't realize who his wife is sleeping with (everyone). He also has his son Joseph (which isn't really his), and a gun that isn't loaded because he's too poor. He is an exterminator with no knowledge of how to be one. He is in love of John Redcock and doesn't realise Joseph is his son. He claims its Mexican aliens at work who put his DNA on Nancy's body with someone else he is later finds out he has a daughter (not his), but assumes it is his. He's the idiot who believes George W. Bush is friends with Saddam Hussein.

Nancy- (voiced by Pamela Anderson) A slutty weather girl, and Dale's wife. She constantly cheats on Dale with John Redcock, a Native American. She is also a locally known TV news anchor woman due to her sucking so much (and because she sleeps with the producer). She later stops cheating on dale but still loves him enough to have sex with him. Wank also had sex with her swimming naked or grilling (dirty wank).

John Redcock- (voiced by Hulk Hogan) Nancy's lover and general Shitting Bull wannabe. He's also the REAL father of Joseph, whom Dale is too fucking stupid to even think that he's the real father. He's Native American or in Texas, a "Prairie Nigger Boy".

Boobhauer- (voiced by Joe Pesci) The dang ol' slick, dadgum heroin using, dang ol' gibberish speaking doggone retard of the dadgum crew, man. Dang ol' episode 2, man, he got dem dang ol' balls cut off for a dadgum bet he had with dat Dale boy, man, who later used his dang ol' penis for dadgum personal reasons. And by dang ol' personal reasons, I mean he got the dadgum raw balls, man, and used them to have dang ol' sex with dadgum Wank Hill so dadgum Wank Hill wouldn't think dang ol' Dale had dadgum male to male sex with him. I tell ya, man, he's still for some dang ol' odd reason a player of the dadgum neighborhood, man, but surprises me that he hasn't hit on that dang ol' Nancy. He has no dadgum penis but later gets a dang ol' new one, man. He pays a hundred dadgum dollers to the Arlen hospital, and many dang ol' Texans knew who runs them hospitals.

"Propane is a safe,clean,burning fuel" - Hank Hill

Bill Hitler- (voiced by Adolf Hitler) A total loser with no life (Just like the voice actor). After his wife Lenore, a Muslim Socialist he bought rights to, left him to have sex with Mahmoud Ahmadinejad as he claimed, he became a total wreck. His only reason for being is his pathetic excuse for a job as a barber for the military. He's also fat, ugly and basically useless. He is cocksucking loser who secretly watches Jewish Porno and sells marijuana to Dale and Your Mom, but shows total disgust at a man like Wank for bombing his car. He doesn't do anything but tried to kill himself and get Lenore back. He also hits on ugly fat chicks, which John Redcock tries to steal and succeeds so episode season 12 prostitute named Charlene.

Kah Ni- (voiced by Andre the Giant) A little Chinese Lesbian (from Laos) that is Blobby's girlfriend. She is as equally annoying and ugly as Blobby is so I guess they were meant for each other. Holy shit is this bitch ugly, even for an Asian chick. Yyyeeessshhh! She and Blobby had sex on his house more than 6 times a day. And you know the story about her getting pregnant!!!!!!!!!!!!!! She doesn't Know but still nothing is known yet since it doesn't come up often and he might be Joseph's son.

' Minh-' (voiced by Batista) She's Connie's mother, and hates Piggy with a passion. Though similar to her husband, she's not as of a bitch as he is. She think she is hot and in no way is. She uses guns better than Dale and she can be one helluva bitch. Did we mention dat she is asian.

Kahn- (voiced by Kim Jong-Ill) Minh's husband and also Connie's father, a stuck-up whiny yuppie bitch who hates Wank and his family, although I don't blame him. Due to Wank being better at sports and more American than this Oriental rice-picker, Minh has a big case of "penis envy". Kaun makes several attempts to impress and make Wank and his family jealous because it makes him feel better about his tiny penis.

Joseph Gribble- (voiced by Joseph Stalin) The son of royal slut Nancy Gribble and her male prostitute John Redcock. Joseph is a homo who hangs around Blobby and is a stripper by night. Also he has a missing testicle due to a propane explosion. caused by Wank in mega low mart where he was smoking weed next to the propane tanks. He got Kah Ni pregnant when she was dating Blobby. This has proven that getting woman pregnant while they're in a relatonships runs in Joseph's biological blood.

Mr. Strickland- (voiced by Jerry Springer) A fat old pervert who is Wank's boss. Basically a heart attack just waiting to happen, like Dick Cheney. He is a clone of him and is a big drunk and drug addict he is a rapist who beats up his wife consently.

Cotton Hill- (voiced by Marlon Brando) Wank's father. A racist, sexist, homophobe, ultra-nationalist and religious fundie, Cotton is very un-PC for prime time TV. He got his shins blown off in World War II (World War 2) by Ronald McDonald while killing fifty men (be it Japs, Gooks, Krauts or Wops). He's a lying son of a bitch, perverted sicko asshole sucking man. His wife is 50 years younger than him and she knew Wank when she was in grade school (can't you believe having a step-mom your age?) He's a complete idiot who constently stabs a non-American's testicles with his knife. His youthfulness is still intact, he had a son at age 80 and most of all, Cotton would be a reincarnation of Archie Bunker of All in the Family.

Ladybird- Wank's 43 yr old bitch and the reason for Blobby's existence. When Piggy & Wank were doing it, Ladybird relaxed Wank's narrow urethra with a reach around.yeah but wont happen again Hank's narrow urethra is getting less sperm due to him being gay he doesn't get horny often.

Lucky- The lamest person on the show. He's voiced by Tom Motherfucking Petty. He is an alien currently suckin gay astros boys' metal dick to stop him from destroying Earth. He is cheating on Mooanne for Wank Hill (Hank Hill). That is why he lived in his house for 17 and a half years and buys Wank his favorite Kanye West albums every christmas.

[edit] Characters that shouldn't Be in the Show

Niggy Hill
Lucky
Niggy Hill
Ronald Mcdonald
Niggy Hill
Propane ("Damn You!" - Hank Hill)
Niggy Hill
The Mexican Guy in that one episode
Niggy Hill
Kah Ni
Niggy Hill
Wank's Lawn

[edit] Cancellation

An employee accidently dropped a burrito on the King of the Hill cancellation button. Who's bright idea was it to make a giant red "Cancel King of the Hill" button in the first place?

[edit] Episodes

There were only 5 episodes of King Of The Hill, stated above

Number	Title
Episode 1	“Big-Chief-Thwaking-Dick V.S. John Redcock” (aired: Feb 24, 1997)
Due to low ratings and lack of ideas, the pilot episode's script was improvised on the spot during animation.
Episode 2	“Mooanne's Murder Charge” (aired: Feb 24, 1997)
Wank picks up Mooanne after her parents are thrown in jail. The two find a nearby backroad, where Mooanne performs oral sex on Wank. Soon after, She meets Niggy and Blobby and is viciously attacked by Ladybird. She then decides to become a hair stylist. Finally after many months she gets her degree, she performs her first cutting. Sadly, being distracted by a hot guy, she accidentally cuts off the customer's head. The customer being Peter Griffin. Mooanne is convicted of murder and was sentenced to die by lethal injection.
Episode 3	“Plunk” (aired: August 27, 2000)
Niggy is concerned about her big feet. While Blobby wants penisplasty (he lost his the same way Boobhauer lost his), Ladybird commits suicide, and the rest of the gang become involved in a scheme that involves drug money and Mexico.
Episode 4	“The Porno Business” (aired: September 11, 2003)
Niggy gets caught up in the porno business for men who have that creepy foot fetish after signing a form for a 'Package Holiday'. Wank finds out about this and proceeds to threaten to shoot Bill pointblank using Dale's shotgun. When he finds out there are no bullets in it because Dale is a cheap bastard, he beats Bill nearly to death with it. Later, everyone makes up for that day apart from Bill, who picked up a hooker and got AIDS. Meanwhile, Blobby loses his shorts at the water park, and everyone sees his big fat ass.
Episode 5	“The Day Niggy and Wank Dies” (aired: October 31, 2006)
Niggy and Wank get into a huge fight, causing him to smack the hell out of Niggy. She then tries to get revenge on him by sleeping with Nancy. The Hills and friends decide to go shopping and Niggy gets her big ass feet caught in the escalator and dies horribly and painfully, not to mention bloodfully. at the funeral, everybody laughs. Blobby had sex with Michael Jackson, Wank was killed when a bomb went off at Strickland Propane. Bill, Blobby, Dale, and Michael Jackson were gunned down in a drive-by shooting after a drug deal.