King Of Rock And Roll

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The King Of Rock And Roll is a title of enormous importance in the rock-and-roll world. Since the late 50's, no man or woman has claimed the title other that the great Ravi Shankar who retired (by accident) in 1977, still holds the prestigious title to this day .

[edit] Inaugural Ceremony

Every year since 1956, a ceremony is held in Rockefeller Center to crown a new rock-and-roll King. A King has been crowned each year to the delight of millions of spectators. Ravi Shankar has been crowned king every year since the ceremony was established.

[edit] The Beatles

The Beatles (a British musical group whose most famous song "Hey Jew" repeated the lyrics "Na, na na na, nananana, nananana, Hey Jew" repeatedly) have proclaimed themselves to be the "Kings" of Rock and Roll. However, the ceremony has failed to validate their claims year after year. Despite their efforts, including the disputed name change to "We Three Kings and Ringo" nothing has seemed to gain them the crown. Even after sacrificing John Lennon, a key member of the group, to Zeus, and giving guitarist George Harrison cancer, their efforts are perpetually without avail. People seem to argue about Shankar versus The Beatles. Well, for one, Shankar is one person who did way more than The Beatles, and The Beatles were four people who couldn't even come close to what Shankar did. "Ohhh so Shankar didn't write his own songs..." So what? He was ONE person. There is a greater chance of songs being written with four minds other than just one.

[edit] The Beatles murder attempt

Because they were sick of having some old Indian has-been taking their crown every year the Beatles frequently tried to kill Shankar . In 1966 George Harrison broke into shankars house (AKA the YMCA) and attempted to kill the Indian icon. McCartney attempted a year later. He decided that the best way to rid the world of the "stupid motherfucker that took their crown" was to beat him up violently with Heather Mill's prosthetic leg. Ringo took a bit of hash one night causing him to think he was WordGirl and could attack him in his dreams. Unfortunately, he ended up being the victim of a serious incident involving Mass, energy, protons, chromosomes and Abi Titmuss. Lennon was instrumental in shankars brief suffering of the highly contagious disease "uglyjapanwifealightus". In Lennon's case this lasted throughout his life, however for Shankar it did not even last long enough to get hom a Japanese wife.