Kevin Spacey

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“I'm frightened to say anything.”
~ Oscar Wilde on Kevin Spacey

“No officer, I always walk my dog in this park at 4am.”
~ Kevin Spacey on his heterosexuality
“He's my idol... ”
~ Satan on Kevin Spacey
“It's been three years and he still won't take my calls. Its just...Its not fair!”
~ Jesus on Kevin Spacey
“Heeeeeyyy Mama!”
~ Al Jolson on everything
Wikisplode
For those without comedic tastes, the so-called experts at Wikipedia have an article about Kevin Spacey.

Kevin Spacey, CBE (born Kevin Spacey Fowler; July 26, 1959) is an immensely talented actor, impressionist and, for some reason, I feel the need to call him a pedophile. He was born before Satan and spends his time making my favourite movies and plotting world domination with his fellow Members of the Generally Super Evil Villain League 'GSEVL'. Caution he smokes a pipe, Not a tobacco pipe just any pipe in general.

Early "Life"

Spacey has never lived and cannot die either. He is on a similar power basis as such beings as Oprah, Christopher Walken, Chuck Norris and David Hasselhoff.

Spacey 1

"Can I borrow your thumb, reporter? Thank you." Kevin Spacey before he cut off the thumb of an irritating reporter. And thanked them.

He formed a the Generally Super Evil Villain League in an attempt to destroy most of the other ultra-beings, but to this day has failed.

His acting talents are second to none, brought about by his greatness, and is able to impersonate every living being bar Tom Cruise, purely because he doesn't want to.

Evil Deeds

For more information on Kevin Spacey's unpleasant deeds within his evil league, see the page on the Members of the Generally Super Evil Villain League.

800px-Kevin Spacey Advertising Barcelona

A Spanish campaign poster for Spaceys bid to take over all third world countries and us them as pawns. It reads "Do as I say, young people, or I'll put a catering tray up your ass. Love, Kevin Spacey."

Outside of the league he has done plenty of misdeeds also, including having wild sex with Bill Gates and 48 per cent of California, without calling them back.

He once made a bid to take over all third world countries in an attempt to take over the world by numbers. He had propaganda inserted in all third world countries, including Spain, India and Ireland. The campaign came to a great halt when Bob Geldoff intervened and refused to allow this to take place. Before Spacey could kill him, Geldoff sang. This killed thousands in the nearby area, but secured that no-one would try that again, as Spacey was hospitalized for three weeks.

He also participated in organising the Twin Towers attacks by using his great impersonation skills to convince the Arabs to let him help. He then funded their attack for them, and actually helped them steal the planes themselves, before transmorphing into a bald eagle and escaping. The reasons behind his helping the attackers it still unclear, though some suggest it was to do with his raging hatred of Willie Nelson.

Good Deeds

Fucking up Adam Sandler with a toaster and inventing buggery. Releasing Stewie Griffin from his basement.

Lunch

He once went to lunch, and after that he went to your house and ate your babies.

Filmography

Spacey's career as an "actor" truly began in 1995, with the release of both the usual suspects and se7en. These two films defined him as a bastard and set his career ball rolling permanently. It wouldn't stop till it ate New York.

1997 gave us L.A. Confidential, 1998 the negotiator, and 1999 American Beauty. Hit after hit Spacey proved that he had what it takes to rape cinema and kill its parents. he only ever had one rival. And that rival was Walken.

Trivia

Kevin Spacey with a catering tray

"Look, I can make it hover! See? Now it's goin' up your ass!"

  • He has had sex on 9,067 occasions, all with different people.
  • He once appeared on the hit American comedy show "Rosanne" and was paid 17 million U.S dollars for 6 minutes of footage. He killed the cast with his extensive paper clip collection afterward, bar Rosanne, who sat on his face.
  • He has an extensive paper clip collection.
  • He found bigfoot, and killed it.
  • Gravity is more of a suggestion than a law to him.
  • He is both himself and the legendary swing singer Bobby Darin
  • Spacey once stabbed Superman with a led tea spoon after Superman claimed to be more "super" than him. There has been a documentary made of this. See "Superman returns" for your more.
  • He trained Dahmer, Manson, Bundy, Perry and Satan.
  • Spacey also killed Hitler, purely because he doesn't like competition.
  • He broke up ABBA,ending there pop supremacy purely because they irritated him. He did so by going through each of their bedrooms with a pillow and a hammer at night time.
  • He had sex with Jesus and never called back.

See Also


Members of the Generally Super Evil Villain League
Kevin SpaceySatanJames Woods
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