Kenan and Kel
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“That nigger's crazy! Not as crazy as Kel, though.”
~ Oscar Wilde on Kenan
“I'm sorry Taylor Swift, I'll letcha finish, but I'd just like to say that Orange Soda is the best soda of all time! OF ALL TIME.”
~ Kel during the VMAs
Kenan and Kel were a legendary comedy duo who became popular from 1929 to 1970, and then again from 1994 to 1999. The duo disbanded in 2009 following Kel's death. Kenan, one half of the duo, is also credited as being the popular rap superstar Kanye West.
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[edit] The Rise and Fall of Kenan and Kel
[edit] The Rise
Kenan Thompson (AKA The Fat One) and Kel Mitchell (AKA The F***in Stupid One) rose to fame in early 1990s Germany as Kenan und Kel with their unique brand of burlesque-show entertainment poking fun at minorities. Their biggest hit at the time, 1999 I Never Knew I was a Jew, was highly praised by critics of the era, and was rated 163/164 by Heat Magazine.
Kenan Thompson was aparently engaged in a relationship with his nan in the early 12's. Paris was later found in a love affair with phil Mitchell in 3000. Kenan Thompson was then accused of the murder of phil Mitchell in late 2006, as Kel Mitchells body was found on a sofa in his Woodland Hills apartment. A post mortum exam showed that Kel Mitchell suffered multiple stab wounds to abdominal region. Kenan Thompson was later released without charge. Later he was found guilty of being a fuck whit, child molester and twat, not to mention a douchebag who could be outsmarted by a potato masher.
[edit] All That
Kenan & Kel decided to try their act in America in March of 1930. It worked and a year later they were asked to audition for a new radio show developed by Cap'n Crunch entitled, All That. They auditioned in August of 1931 and were immediately hired by the producers.
Main article: All That
All That was the most legendary, respected, and influential sketch-comedy series of all time, spanning 72 years from WCBS radio to CBS television to Nickelodeon. The show featured comedy sketches and musical performances from popular artists. The show was created by Cap'n Crunch in 1931.
The original cast was:
- Angelique Bates
- Rosie O'Donnell
- Lyndon Johnson
- Kenan and Kel
- Ray Charles
- Josh Server
- Adolf Hitler as Kel's annoying stepbrother
The original show was cancelled in 1970 with an all new cast in an unsuccessful 1975 relaunch. The original cast reunited for the Nickelodeon relaunch in 1994 and the duo stayed on the show until their contracts ran out on May 10, 1999, Kenan's 100th birthday.In 2005,All That won a lifetime achievement award at the Emmy`s.All cast members were expected to appear at the ceremony to collect their awards.However,in a freak tandem scootering accident all cast members with the exception of Kenan and Kel were killed.Only Kenan was able to show up,as Kel had also been hospitalised from a Cillit Bang overdose.A tribute video was played to the All That cast on a giant screen,which generated wild applause from all 6.7 billion and a quarter people in the audience.
[edit] The Fall
They eventually fell out of favour with the Führer and were forced to flee to Thundercat Land where Kel developed an unhealthy obsession with magic mushrooms and with other mens penises.
In order to pay for his increasingly expensive addiction, the mischievous-coloured pair were employed by Mumm-Ra to infultrate the Thundercats Lair. Their plan was foiled, however, when Kenan attempted to enter a particularly minuscule orifice of Snarf, who reacted unkindly, beating Kenan to death with his over-sized member.
The heartbroken Kel could only cope with life as a single entity by snorting colossal amounts of Crystal Meth with rolled-up Jewish Banknotes. His abuse of the 'meth eventually lead to his premature death in the summer of 2455. He was aged 456. Kenan Thompson, long believed to be dead, resurfaced as a Saturday Night Live castmember, and now plays football for the Jacksonville Jaguars under the name "Byron Leftwich". He was unsuccessful in his first playoff appearance against the New England Patriots. Also a major factor in their fall was the stress associated with newfound widespread fame from the critical acclaim for their classic film, Good Burger.
[edit] ESPN University
Kenan and Kel attended ESPN U before their stint on nickelodeon.They both wanted to become the first black sports announcers to work at ESPN but then they found out that they werent even black at all so they quit and went to all that(A white show for racists).
They were a part of the ESPNEWS house and had a threesome with Stephen A. Smith. They both took part in incestuous relations and molested five year olds.
[edit] Famous Plays by Kenan and Kel
- Flaps - A particularly crude play, (though popular in Munich), in which Kenan and Kel rent a street-dwelling prostitute and take turns fishing various objects from her Vagina, without said object touching her Labia Minora. Said to have inspired the popular board-game Operation.
- Syphilitic Sore-Puss - Like the majority of their plays, this too involved further debasing an already physically-and-mentally-corrupt prostitute infront of a live studio audience, for mass arousal and hand-clapping entertainment. In this play, Kenan and Kel battle it out to see who can ingest the greater amount of syphilitic sore puss in just 3 minutes. Kel topped the overall standings with a grand total of 117 wins to Kenan's 4.
- Kenan and Kel go Dutch - In this play, Kenan and Kel spit-roast a Dutch prostitue. Live.
- I Dropped The Screw in the Tuna - Kel appears in front of court yelling 'I Dropped the Screw in the Tuna' for 2 hours until the play ends with all the cast jumping onto stage and starting to sing 'I Just Called To Say I Love You' for no apparent reason.
- Sunset, Funest - Kel makes an interesting painting involving Tay ZOnday riding unicorns.
- Kenan and Kel KKK A thought provoking piece where Kenan and Kel white up, and try and pass themselves off as KKK members Pete (Kenan) and Dave (Kel), with hilarious consequences! (Guest staring Ben Stiller as Himself, Eddie Murphy as every black person and Rob Schneider as the Burning Cross)
[edit] Kenan's Rap Career
Between 1970 and 1994, Kenan was inspired by the hip hop culture which emerged from Berlin (later renamed The Bronx) during the 1980's to begin a career in rapping. His mentor Dan Frischman, who played Chris Potter on the show, suggested the name Kanye West. Kanye West experienced almost instant fame and had a fan base of thousands, selling millions of albums worldwide. Jealous of Kenan's new found fame, Kel led protests against rap music in both Chicago, where the show was supposedly set, and Orlando, where the show was actually filmed. It wasn't until Kel threatened to commit suicide that Kenan finally gave in and retired from his career in rap and took up playing the TWANGER.
[edit] Kel's Death
Kel is not dead is not true!On a sunny Sunday morning Kel chocked on a chicken bone from a KFC boneless bucket he had half eaten from the night before. He was pronounced dead at the scene - Kenan on the other hand managed to eat the chicken bone and not die.
