Katie Hopkins

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia

Jump to: navigation, search

“It is absurd to divide people into good and bad. People are either charming or Katie Hopkins.”
~ Oscar Wilde

“A little too right-wing, racist and aggressive for my tastes”
~ Hermann Göring on Katie Hopkins
KatieHopkins

I'm just being me! Honest!!

Katie "KT Boundary" Hopkins is one of the three ablations of Accounting is Fun, No Joke magazine's Katherine Hopskipandjumpkins and founder of the Cult of C*nts. She came to fame during her appearance on The Apprentice in 2007 after commenting that the show's host Alan Sugar was "a Jew on steroids" and "not white enough to be called 'Sugar'". She now writes articles for The Sun newspaper after being rejected multiple times as a Page 3 girl.

edit Development

Bouncywikilogo6
For those without comedic tastes, the self-proclaimed experts at Wikipedia have an article about Katie Hopkins.

After graduating from the University of Exeter, Katherine Hopskipandjumpkins found herself in great debt and, having only an economics degree, struggled to find work. To try and pay off her fees, she agreed to participate in a number of medical experiments ran by the Open University which sought to divide a person's being into separate entities. This resulted in the creation of three new personalities: Katie Hopkins, who encompassed Katherine's disdain of mankind; Kate Skipkins, who inherited Katherine's sweet, kind nature and love of African babies; and Kathy Jumpkins, a nymphomaniac who acted on Katherine's desires that had been suppressed during her years at convent school.

The ablation experiment took a number of years, during which Katherine, Katie, Kate and Kathy were not permitted to leave a smelly London garage which the OU had just managed to pay off the OU's testing facility. Once all ablations had been tested to ensure that they had not suffered brain damage, they were integrated into society and encouraged to find work. Katherine, stripped of all aspects of her personality that made her who she was, became a teacher; Kate went on to become an unspoken human rights activist and foster parent; and Cathy pursued a lifelong ambition to have as much sex as possible in open fields.

edit The Sun

Hopkins, unable to find work, wrote a rant on Tumblr about how much she hated immigrants for "takin' me jobs". This was noticed by The Sun newspaper, who then contacted Hopkins and said they would pay her to do the exact same thing for them. She tried to convince them that she would be of more use on Page 3, to which The Sun replied, "We don't want to see your tits. We just want you to be a tit."

It was during her first few months of employment that Hopkins explored the extent of her misanthropy. In an interview with People magazine, she recalled an event which made all of her pet peeves clear to her:

"There was this fat Pakistani woman breastfeeding her baby in a Costa Coffee shop one day. Well, she must have been half Scottish or something because her hair was so ginger you would have thought she'd set off a bomb in there. But anyway, on her arms she had these massive tattoos of Kim Kardashian which had been decorated with knife scars the whole length of them. And I thought to myself, 'Good God. This woman is the embodiment of everything I hate in a human being. This is the inspiration I've been needing.' That night I began writing about Muslims and fat people and lots of other things and I haven't stopped since. And it's all thanks to her."

Hopkins has continued to write for The Sun and is paid in anti-money: the more people that hate her work, the more she earns. She has revealed that she exploits the anti-money-to-pound exchange rate to "squeeze as much money out of my earnings like you would squeeze all the fat out of some lardo's arse boobs."

edit See Also

Sewage

Personal tools
projects