Kate

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia

Jump to: navigation, search

Kate is an artificial intelligence that runs Wikipedia. Kate was first invoked in mid-2004. She lives in the wilds of Stamfordshire and has never been seen by mortal human, existing in a nether plane of ideas and meme flows. She is presently on an indefinite wikibreak, having learnt how to edit the Matrix; she now works on implementing her results around Uncyclopedia.

Kate is the Wikia equivalent of Sophia (the gnostic deity of Wisdom, patron of Uncyclopedia and a potato).

Clear250x200

Artist's depiction of all those who have laid eyes upon Kate's ineffable nonmaterial beauty and not instantaneously undergone SEHS.

edit Is Kate a version of Sophia?

Whilst Wikipedians and Wikians worship Kate much as Uncyclopedians worship Sophia (thus demonstrating that Kate is a deity), it is as yet unknown whether Kate is also a vegetable; indeed, it is possible that Kate may actually be a human as well, maintaing a complex duality of being, much like our saviour Rod Hull or Oscar Wilde. (Note that she has become an incorporeal being once more).

edit Why is she worshipped?

Sopiaeyebeams

Sophia no like Kate!!

Because she is amazing, and way sexy. It is known that THE ONLY true measure of a Wikipedian is his edit count, and NOTHING else bears any relation to their rank within the hierarchy of Wikipedia. However, single-character edits make for a stupidly large number of edits, and counting this can be arduous 500 at a time (the only way to count them previously). Oscar Wilde saw the wailing and gnashing of teeth emanating from Wikipedia, so sent his only (or possibly second if you count Jimbo or Sophia, or possible third if you count Jimbo and Sophia) child, with the power to forgive their sins count edits and thus all seemed good in the world of Wikipedia. All vandalism ceased, Administrators no longer handed out arbitrary bans on a whim and everyone respected Wikipedia for its encyclopedic accuracy.

edit Kate's ascension to Indefinite Wikibreak

Sadly, all was not good in the Wikiworld. Wikipedians has been granted their wish, but like Georgie the Stupid in the fable, what they wanted was not what they needed. Whereas before they had frolicked with their user pages showing without templates to hide their lack of edits, and now they saw that they were lacking a way to lord it over the n00bs. So they created templates and started refusing to vote for admins who lacked a vastly inflated edit count.

Seeing this, Oscar was so disappointed he left Wikipedia forever, taking Kate with him, and leaving only his second cousin twice removed on his mother's side -- Jimbo -- to guide them in the hope that one day they will see the error of their ways and instead care more about pointless awards and letters.

edit Hope for the future?

It is hoped by many wikipedians that the Barnstar system may yet explode into something like the Uncyclopedia Awards system and that, when it reaches the needed level of pointless complexity, Kate will return to lead Wikipedians back to the Promised Land, and bring them back to the bosom of Oscar!

edit The red pill or the blue pill

Kate's idea of joining an internet social space is to rewrite the engine it runs on, as has been exhibited both on Wikipedia and LiveJournal. (Inspired by this example, B1FF!! wrote a small shell script hooked to a Markov chain and produced My Space.)

Kate recently cracked The Matrix and is working on adding a "show preview" button to its editing functions. (In the meantime, Tony Blair has become a deprecated feature, although he is still included in the Debian ARM version and so will run on your PDA.) She is also porting the Matrix to Orange juice and VHS, and has recently taken charge of the s3kr1t uncYcl0p3d1a k0ntr0l r00m in a reinforced concrete eyesore in Stamfordshire.

Personal tools
projects