Kashmir
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Kashmir (formerly Shangri-La), a "disputed"[1] region on the border between Pakistan, Wales and India, was best known as an exporter of Kashmir wool sweaters and in-bred children. The region was renamed after the famous song by Led Zeppelin in 1980, shortly after the death of drummer John Bonham. Although this was controversial in the rest of the world, the name change was highly popular among its residents, with one resident exclaiming, "our territory may be disputed, but our love of this song is undisputed!"
Contents |
Demographics
A Richter 1.6 earthquake wiped out the region on the morning of October 8, 2005, with about forty thousand believed dead and more dying as food and shelter are scarce and narrow roads into the region are blocked by landslides. Authorities have been trying to pull out as many sheep as they can, alive, to save their wool making capabilities. They don't give a damn about the humans. In fact it would be better if all the humans were wiped out, it would leave more place for sheep to breed. Donate your aid at Save The Kashmir rats and Goats.com
Economy
The economy of Kashmir is based around agriculture, mainly rice. It's temperate climate and location at the source of the Indus river makes it quite tolerant of many crops. This property makes the land more desirable to India & Pakistan than finally knowing who Carly Simon was talking about in "You're So Vain".
The primary economic competitor to Kashmir was Afghanistan, which ekes out most of its meager existence by knitting Afghan dogs and biscuits in New Zealand.
The primary food export from the Kashmir region was Shake & Bake; as food becomes scarce, the Kashmiri pass the time playing Quake and clawing at the rubble with bare hands in an attempt to find buried friends and relatives.
Kashmir is also known for its no-fault insurance, which is of little use in an earthquake. File:Led Zeppelin Band.jpeg
Politics
Before the aforementioned name change,the national anthem of Kashmir was "Baa baa black sheep have you any wool? Yes sir, yes sir, three bags full." by John Paul Jones and Rudyard Kipling. After the region became known as "Kashmir", it made the unusual decision to use "California Dreaming", by The Mamas and the Papas. Responding to inquiries why it did not use "Shangri-La" by The Kinks or its namesake as a song, the region's spokesperson responded, "that's exactly what they'd be expecting us to do!" It is unclear who the "they" he refers to is.
Led Zeppelin
Oh let the sun beat down upon my face
Stars to fill my dreams
I am a traveler of both time and space
To be where I have been
Secret elders of the gentle race
This world is seldom seen
They talk of days for which they sit and wait
All will be revealed
Talk and song from tongues of lilting grace
Whose sounds caress my ear
But not a word I heard could I relate
The story was quite clear
Woah, woah
Ooh, oh baby I been flying
Lord yeah mama, there ain't no denyin'
Oh, ooh yes, I've been flying
Mama ma, ain't no denyin', no denyin'
Oh all I see turns to brown as the sun burns the ground
And my eyes fill with sand as I scan this wasted land
Trying to find, trying to find where I been
Oh, pilot of the storm who leaves no trace
Like thoughts inside a dream
Heed the path that led me to that place
Yellow desert screen
My Shangri-La beneath the summer moon
I will return again
Sure as the dust that floats high in June
When movin' through Kashmir
Oh, father of the four winds
Fill my sails, across the sea of years
With no provision but an open face
'Long the straits of fear
Woah, woah, woah
Oh
Well, when I want
When I'm on my way, yeah
When I see
When I see the way, you stay, yeah
Ooh, yeah yeah, ooh, yeah yeah, well I'm down, yes
Ooh, yeah yeah, ooh, yeah yeah, well I'm down, so down
Ooh, my baby, ooh, my baby, let me take you there
Oh oh, come on, come on
Oh, let me take you there
Let me take you there
Ooh, yeah yeah, ooh, yeah yeah
Foreign aid
Aid efforts, like the earthquake itself, are proving to be a major disaster. Not only is help not reaching the remote rural villages where it's most desperately needed, but authorities don't seem to understand the problem. America sent Condoleeza Rice to the stricken area, only to have her sent back with the protest "No, no, no, you don't understand. We said peasants are starving because they have no rice. Send food!"
Recently, donations to Kashmir have been on the rise. According to most sources, this likely coincides with the release of Greg Mortenson and David Oliver Relin's book Three Cups of Tea, which mentions that Kashmir is, in fact, a real region in the world. In fact, Dr. Lionel Irving, a professor of Sociology at Nottingham University, cites "a recent study that found that 40% of Americans knew of a place named 'Kashmir'. Before the book was released, only about 20% had heard of a place called Kashmir, and 80% of the people who did thought Kashmir was some sort of Led Zeppelin fan club."
News
- BBC
- Information source from Kashmir: In-depth news and features regarding various facets of Kashmir.
Aid
Footnotes
- ↑ really belongs to the European Union
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