Kashmir
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Kashmir (formerly Shangri-La), a "disputed"[1] region on the border between Pakistan and India, was best known as an exporter of Kashmir wool sweaters and in-bred children. The region was renamed after the famous song by Led Zeppelin in 1980, shortly after the death of drummer John Bonham. Although this was controversial in the rest of the world, the name change was highly popular among its residents, with one resident exclaiming, "our territory may be disputed, but our love of this song is undisputed!"
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[edit] Demographics
The total population of Kashmir is 100 million, 99 million of which are Indian soldiers who want to go back to India. However, Mother Teresa, the Chief of Army Staff of India is very strict on its 'no exchange, no return' policy and prohibits any such measures. Because of this male majority state Pakistani Army resort to sleeping with single hindu women who are cheap as dirt.These men have huge penises .The Indian Army has to settle with monkey females who have been trained not to peel the tiny penis of Indian men and learn to suck.almost 60% of these. Indians are known for there small penises. If an Indian Soldier manages to return home he brings with him bangles which Pakistani soldiers forced them to wear and offer there daughters to pakistani men in exchange for a few rupees and fake encounter evidence. Hence Kashmir is also knowns as 'the land of the Gays'.
Before the aforementioned name change,the national anthem of Kashmir was "Baa baa black sheep have you any wool? Yes sir, yes sir, three bags full." by John Paul Jones and Rudyard Kipling. After the region became known as "Kashmir", it made the unusual decision to use "California Dreaming", by The Mamas and the Papas. Responding to inquiries why it did not use "Shangri-La" by The Kinks or its namesake as a song, the region's spokesperson responded, "that's exactly what they'd be expecting us to do!" It is unclear who the "they" he refers to is.
A Richter 7.6 earthquake wiped out the region on the morning of October 8, 2005, with about forty thousand believed dead and more dying as food and shelter are scarce and narrow roads into the region are blocked by landslides. Authorities have been trying to pull out as many sheep as they can, alive, to save their wool making capabilities. They don't give a damn about the humans. In fact it would be better if all the humans were wiped out, it would leave more place for sheep to breed. Donate your aid at Save The Kashmir rats and Goats.com
[edit] Economy
The primary economic competitor to Kashmir was Afghanistan, which ekes out most of its meager existence by knitting Afghan dogs and biscuits in new zealand.
The primary food export from the Kashmir region was Shake & Bake; as food becomes scarce, the Kashmiri pass the time playing Quake and clawing at the rubble with bare hands in an attempt to find buried friends and relatives.
Kashmir is also known for its no-fault insurance, which is of little use in an earthquake.
Principal trading partners include India, which exports soldier fags, and Pakistan, which exports pow militant fags in order seduce the hindu fags because of the muslim tradition of keeping the hindu fags out. Exporting these to Kashmir have been quite a hit and now, since Paki fags are busy concentrating on the anal rape of USA, they are aggressively analyzing the business case to further expand their monopoly. India specializes in exporting HIV strands in Indian milk products.
[edit] Politics
Kashmir was in a precarious political position even before the October 2005 earthquake. Situated between India and Pakistan, it was the subject of a long tug-of-war between Pakistan's muhammad Jinnah, and Mouthandass Ghandi, the shaven monkey son of a bitch whose wife regularly crossed the border to get some cock.
One Saturday morning when both sides pulled a little too hard, the Line of Control snapped and the earth began to shake. Buildings collapsed on their occupants, key roadways disappeared under avalanches of rubble and even the Indian capital went from New Delhi to Old Delhi. The biggest consequence was that the Kashmir economy collapsed immediately. The key express highway that links Kashmir to Pakistan had been destroyed. Leaving the devout muslim people of Kashmir without employment. A prominent resident, Dr. Farooq Abdullah in an interview remarked sadly, "How can we earn Islamic livelihood without sucking the dysfunctional/semi-erectile copulative organs of Pakistanis? My wife and mother still earn by offering fellatio to the Indian soldiers. Now, I am thinking of offering the same services to Indians. But, sucking short, soft and tiny Pakistani penises was easy money....with the Indians its going to be hard...I know that my throat will hurt badly!! Well, these are desperate times (sigh!)"
[edit] Foreign aid
The Indians have solemnly rejected giving any aid because more than 90% of their own population needs aid. The Indians however need the money to provide its population with toilets and clean water which is non existant in modern India.
Aid efforts, like the earthquake itself, are proving to be a major disaster. Not only is help not reaching the remote rural villages where it's most desperately needed, but authorities don't seem to understand the problem. America sent Condoleeza Rice to the stricken area, only to have her sent back with the protest "No, no, no, you don't understand. We said peasants are starving because they have no rice. Send food!" Pakistanis are in general poking their noses in the Kashmiri issues.
Barney Rubble has responded to allegations that people and bodies are trapped under rubble where schools and hospitals once stood by denying all responsibility for the incidents. His former neighbour Hurricane Wilma was unavailable for comment. It is also noted that General Musharraf, aka Bush-arraf is in love with Kashmir, because of the incestous relations between his mother and a Kashmiri black sheep.
[edit] News
- BBC
- Information source from Kashmir: Indepth news and features regarding various facets of Kashmir.
[edit] Aid
[edit] Footnotes
- ↑ really belongs to the European Union
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You funky bastard stop saying bad about India.
