KDE

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You may be looKinK for KKK and Knot even Know it!

A sKreenshot of KDE 4

KNAA trolls often Klaim KDE's error messaKes are of little utility.

“KDE 4 isn't ready yet KDE 4.0 isn't KDE 4”

~ KDE community on KDE 4.0 release announcement^[1]

“What the fuck!? Save me, GNOME!”

~ Linus Torvalds on KDE 4.0^[2]

“KDE 4 isn't ready yet KDE 4.1 aims at being the first release suitable for early adopting users”

~ KDE community on KDE 4.1 release announcement^[3]

“KDE 4 isn't ready yet we have a compelling offering for the majority of end users”

~ KDE community on KDE 4.2 release announcement^[4]

KDE (althouKh its oriKinal name was full name is Kool DesKtop Environment, they Khanged it to Kiddie Desktop Environment due to Khildish looK) is a free desKtop environment and development platform built with the OS/2 Warp Kooperation toolKit. It runs on most uniKs and uniKs-liKe systems, suKh as enKyKlopedia dramatiKa, Diablo I, LinuKs and draKonfly BSD. KDE beKan life as a forK of the window manaKer RTFM, and Kontinues its featureset to this day. KDE is the swiss army Knife of desKtops: it has more features than anybody aKtually Kneeds and it's shiny.

KLinusTorvalds is a Knotable Kommunist fan of KDE. Other well-Known KDE users inKlude Alan KoKs and pop-sinKer fidelKastro.

[edit] KDE4

A huKe step baKKwards for the year of GNU/LinuKs on the desKtop. After the wide suKKess of Windows Vista the KDE team worKed niKht and day to emulate its fleKsibility, speed and stability. KDE4 was not intended for worK but for admiration, beKause who uses Komputers to do worK anyway? With new intuitive desiKn anythinK and everythinK in KDE4 is a few dozen KliKKs away, refleKting its power and Kustomizability. KDE4 features a new window manaKer called KWin, KWin brinK Kompiz like bloat and uKlyness to KDE4. Now all your windows are wobbly and shiny, just liKe toddlers want. KDE4's menu is Kalled KiKKoff, beKause even KDE people realize how stupid it is to KliKK Start to Shut Down, or maybe it is an illusion to FUKK OFF, we'll never know. What KDE4 doesn't laKK when Kompared to GNOME and other environments is potential. The outstandinK potential that somewhere alonK the line it will be funKtional and usable.

[edit] History

Konqui's KhiK, Katie, or just Konqi havinK a seKsual identity Krisis?

KDE is in faKt the first DE ever developed. It was started in 1943 by Kerman researKhers who don't want to worK on V2 and stuff liKe that. The oriKinal Kname was thus "Kommandantür DesKtop Environment". As there was Kno Komputer at the time and beKause a DE without a Komputer is pretty useless, KDE had very little suKKess and was KuiKKly forKotten.

KDE exists to Ktorment GNOME users and maKe them too afraid to Kinstall anythinK with a K in it for fear of KludginK the Komputer with Kparts.

[edit] liKenKe

While KDE itself is liKenKed under the KNU KPL, most third-party appliKations are available as Krippleware, and we're talKinK about rather eKspensive Krippleware here. That's Kommonly Konsidered to be the Kause of the eKsistenKe of a biK Kuantity of KraKKers speKializinK in providinK Kuality KeyKens and patKhes of KDE paKKaKes for the KraKKinK sKene.

Akkepting the Klikense Krants KDE the Kright to Keat Kbabies!

[edit] Koders

The loKo of [insert O with a dash in the lower-right Korner here]t, the toolKit used by KDE, is believed to have Kontributed to the KneKative publiK perKeption of the KNU/linuKs desKtop.

DurinK the KodinK of KDE, about 40,000 proKrammers Kuit the profession after beinK damaKed in the flamewars that erupted when KNOME invented the 'Save' dialoK.

In the beKinninK there was a freaK Keyboard malfunKtion from eKsKessive typinK of the word ☭ool resultinK in damaKe to the letter ☭. On the third day it was proKlaimed henKeforth the letter 'K' would be used instead.

KDE has Knot yet implemented the miKrosoft BSOD but developers are worKinK hard to Kopy every feature of miKrosoft Windows and hope to have a Klone of miKrosoft Bob real soon now.

The ultimate Koal of KDE Koders is to linK aKainst every sinKle library that eKzists on Komputers. OnKe they have aKhieved this, they will start levitatinK, beKin sinKinK (Meep-meep! KNOME interferenKe deteKted!) the ritual ôm and then disappear in smoKe.

KDE poliKy is "If you disKover some empty spaKe, add an useless feature or somethinK very very irritatinK. The iKon must be shiny, rotatinK, and Kontain at least one K."

[edit] KPets

Konqui's's Kameleon KnumbKnuts, after a Kood snaK.

KDE's masKot is Konqi the draKon, beKause draKons' favorite food is Knomes but it will also eat apples if very hunKry. It Kan also draK enerKy from your Komputer's hardware resourKes, but you should be Kareful with him beKause he tends to eat all of them. KonKi's Knatural enemy is uniKode. They are freKuently seen liKKinK eaKh other's Knoses till death in WinForests XP® and iMountains®.

[edit] Bundled appliKations

KDE is bundled with several appliKations, the most notable of whiKh is kSpell, a Krude K++ Kompiled Katastrophe designed to teaKh Kids how to spell. The projeKt was put on hold after Komplaints from sKhool teaKhers informinK KDE Developers that Kids were not usinK the third letter of the alphabet in any worK. Another appliKation is Konqueror, whiKh is Krap and Konstantly Krashes.Konqueror was in faKt desiKned to taKe over the world so that KDE Kould rename the planet Kearth. Every Kitizen's name would have a K in it.

[edit] projeKts

• The Appeal projeKt is a KDE insiKhters' appeal to the Kommon people to replaKe all KonKeivable instanKes of the letter '(insert here a half-KirKle, opened to the riKht)' with 'K'.
• The oKsyKen projeKt is a desperate attempt to raise funds for air that the developers Kan breathe (Knomes eKshale KnitroKen, whiKh maKes Earth Knot habitable by humans)
• The deKibel projeKt involves people walKinK around sKreaminK "We are Knot evil!", with the purpose of inKreasinK odds that KooKle Summer of Kode projeKts will be Kranted.
• The Plasma projeKt Konsists of a few hiKhly soKiable individuals runninK throuKh deserts, Karrying plasma railKuns, tryinK to instill the True Faith into any infidel they Kome aKross
• The Solid projeKt is what will taKe KDE to the KneKst level - finally hardware deviKes will be supported!
• The Dolphin projeKt involved KatKhinK some tuna for the developers.
• The KDE on WinKows projeKt involves portinK KDE to WinKows, sinKe that's what WinKows users need, KDE!
• The KDE on MaK OS projeKt involves portinK KDE to MaK OS, sinKe that's what MaK OS users are dyinK for, KDE!

[edit] ReferenKes