Jupiter
From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia.
Jupiter is a planet in the outer reaches of the solar system (except on Friday nights, when it dresses up like a little boy and hangs out in Oscar Wilde's back seat). It's also where girls go to get more stupider.
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[edit] Quick Facts
Jupiter is the forty-first (some scientists debate it was the forty-second) planet discovered in the solar system, and is somewhat larger than an apple. It is accepted as a gas giant and has a number of civilizations floating in this nameless gas. One of the most well known civilizations is the Society of Sentient Farts, ruled by a tyrannical alien known as Fartron the Great. Her empire has existed for many years. Sabuda was his lover but she was not interested in him at all, so Sabuda had to run to earth driving a what u doin bicycle.
[edit] The People of Jupiter
There are many conspiracies on whether there is life on Jupiter. Recent studies taken from the Interglacial Period Studiers have proven that the people living on Jupiter have increased in size because of the extra space that is available on the Huge Galatic Planet and due to the fact that they need to counter the extreme gravity exibited from the planet. The beliefs of the People of Jupiter's actual height is confidential due to the laws that are applied by the Communist Space Monkey People's Republic of Northern Mars. The planets skies are full of flying gorilla's, although DNA tests show that these are probably common chimps.
[edit] History
Soon after the massive fart, approximately 24,000,000 years ago, Jupiter formed from a large gaseous cloud of space matter, most likely Jesus Juice. Microscopic fragments of biological material floated through space until they reached Jupiter. This bio-material was eaten by a very obese german child who, afterwards, farted in the planet's atmosphere. This fart quickly mutated to form the ancient ancestors of the german race we know today. hitler smells
Not too long after what is known as the Great Flatulence of the Almighty fatty-like One in german culture, a leader emerged. Her name was Fartron, although she has since changed it to Supergirl and moved to Earth. This ruler came from an Krypton and quickly conquered all of the fledgling life forms and brought them under her control. The people of Jupiter continued to mutate. After developing sufficient intelligence (approximately seven seconds ago), Fartron ordered a massive construction project. She forced her slaves bestest friends in the whole world to build the great floating cities we know today.
Recently, Fartron has departed from Jupiter and gone to Earth to be with her cousin/lover Superman. Also Jupiter is the home planet for ET. Jupiter is aloso the only planet in the solar system capable of playing batmittin. Is is also the greatest planet at playing the sport of couch potato.
[edit] The moons of Jupiter
The Jupiter's moons are Io, Europa, Ganymede, Callisto and other small rocks (Titanic, also called Titan, is also Saturn's moon). People of Jupiter are sometimes going on Europa, but Europan Union has got this moon in posses. Io has got a strange name and is covered by volcanos, and that is a female moon. Ganymede is a big moon, and some people says that he is gay. But that is not true. Callisto is the big female moon covered by craters and is very old.
- Io
- Europa (moon)
- Titanic (that moon is also a moon of Saturn)
- Callisto
- Ganymede
- Bagels
- Eminem
- The Death Star
- Bilbo Baggins
- Bon Jovi
- Two Bare Buns
[edit] See also
| Planets |
|---|
| Confirmed (Solar System): Freddy Mercury / Mercury | Venus | Earth/Lyons/iEarth/World (The Moon) | Disney World | Zula (Nayelista) | Planet Hollywood | Mars | Planet Google | Globe | Roseanne | Jupiter | Saturn | Uranus / Youranus / Myanus | Neptune |
| Confirmed (Extrasolar): An T'ark-Ti'kah | Uncyclopedia | Asherah | Darwin IV | Discworld | Lexicon | Wikipedia | Pizza Planet | Belldandy | Polkadottia | Gliese 581 c |
| Dwarf planets: Ceres | Pluto | 2003 UB313 | |
| Unconfirmed: Garnox | Mantoobia | Unicron |
| Denied by CIA: Irk | Krypton | Michigan | Neopia | Tiamat | Nibiru | Magrathea |
| In a galaxy far, far away: |
| Members of the Federation: Vulcan | Earth | Qo'noS | xxEarth Cxx |
| Loner Planets: Wisconsin | Your Mom |
