Jupiter

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Jupiter
“Hey Jupiter, nothing's been the same, so are you gay? Are you blue?”
~ Tori Amos on Jupiter
“It's a bit big.”
“An enormous cock!”
~ drug addict on Jupiter
“Stupid. Stupider”
~ Bart Simpson on Jupiter

Jupiter is a planet in the outer reaches of the solar system (except on Friday nights, when it dresses up like a little boy and hangs out in Oscar Wilde's back seat). It's also where girls go to get more stupiter. It is also famous for its large fonts.

Contents

edit The People of Jupiter

There are many conspiracies on whether there is life on Jupiter. Recent studies taken from the Interglacial Period Studiers have proven that the people living on Jupiter have increased in size because of the extra space that is available on the Huge Galatic Planet and due to the fact that they need to counter the extreme gravity exibited from the planet. The beliefs of the People of Jupiter's actual height is confidential due to the laws that are applied by the Communist Space Monkey People's Republic of Northern Mars. The planets skies are full of flying gorilla's, although DNA tests show that these are probably common chimps.

I apologise, but the person who wrote that first paragraph is a moron. There is life on Jupiter, and unless we immediately assemble our forces in attack, they will come down to earth and take us over. They are mainly made up of Vampires and Vampaneze, and Mr Crepsley will lead a full scale attack on us, unless we pull our fingers out, and BLOODY DEFEND OURSELVES. The snake boy will also join in. He'll turn everyone into snakes. Forever. Ah.

edit History

Soon after the massive fart, approximately 24,000,000 years ago, Jupiter formed from a large gaseous cloud of space matter, most likely Jesus Juice. Microscopic fragments of biological material floated through space until they reached Jupiter. This bio-material was eaten by a very obese german child who, afterwards, farted in the planet's atmosphere. This fart quickly mutated to form the ancient ancestors of the german race we know today.

Not too long after what is known as the Great Flatulence of the Almighty fatty-like One in german culture, a leader emerged. Her name was Fartron, although she has since changed it to Supergirl and moved to Earth. This ruler came from an Krypton and quickly conquered all of the fledgling life forms and brought them under her control. The people of Jupiter continued to mutate. After developing sufficient intelligence (approximately seven seconds ago), Fartron ordered a massive construction project. She forced her slaves bestest friends in the whole world to build the great floating cities we know today.

Jovian floating city
These floating cities hold about 40,000 Farts and are powered by Fartium. However, because of the smelly nature of their species, these cities are reported to have the worst stench in existence, even worse than the smell of your Mom's cooking.

Recently, Fartron has departed from Jupiter and gone to Earth to be with her cousin/lover Superman. Also Jupiter is the home planet for ET. Jupiter is also the only planet in the solar system capable of playing batminton and is the greatest planet at playing the sport of crotch potato. It is also widely regarded that Jupiter is rather a jovial guy.

edit The moons of Jupiter

The Jupiter's moons are Io, Europa, Ganymede, Callisto and other small rocks (Titanic, also called Titan, is also Saturn's moon). People of Jupiter are sometimes going on Europa, but Europan Union has got this moon in posses. Io has got a strange name and is covered by volcanos, and that is a female moon. Ganymede is a big moon, and some people says that he is gay. But that is not true. Callisto is the big female moon covered by craters and is very old. There is also another moon called Doughnut which is bigger than Earth and often crashes into Saturn. This caused the war of the moons where Saturn and Jupiter started hurling moons at each other and its been going on for thousands of years.

edit See also

   v • d • e
            Planets
Confirmed (Solar System): Sun | Mercury | Venus | Earth (The Moon) | Mars | Jupiter | Saturn | Uranus | Neptune
Confirmed (Extrasolar): Darwin IV | Discworld | Milky Way | Planet of the Apes | Planet Google | Planet Hollywood | Pizza Planet | Skaylia | Roseanne | 55 Cancri e
Dwarf planets: Pluto | 2003 UB313 | Jay Leno's Chin | Xanax
Unconfirmed: Garnox | Mantoobia | Unicron
Denied by CIA: Neopia | MyAnus | YourAnus
In a galaxy far, far away: Alderaan | Coruscant | Tatooine | Kamino | Endor | Naboo | Bespin | Death Star
Members of the Federation: Vulcan | Qo'noS
Invisible Planets:

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