Uncyclopedia:Anniversaries/June 9

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June 9: Moose Conservation Day; also 69 Day.

  • 1455 BC - African cultures invent the gangu bangu, later to be known as the gang bang
  • 1215 - Pope Innocent III invents the 69 sex position, declaring June 9th to be the Catholic Church's Sixty Nine Day
  • 1491 - A cave painting is discovered which would later be the inspiration for the movie Opiate of the Molasses.
  • 1492 - American Idol's future was assured when Columbus sailed the ocean blue. It is theorized at the time that all winners will suck. Theory proved correct in later years.
  • 1567 - Mary had a little lamb who's fleece was white as snow. Doctors amazed at how it stayed so clean while she gave birth to it.
  • 1830 - Oscar Wilde calls Lord Byron "a big fairy" in his memoir Really, really, really gay:The Oscar Wilde Story
  • 1919 - Microsoft forced to reboot, Linux rejoices.
  • 1919.5 - Walt Disney discovers all the gold in China, uses it to make world's first golden toilet.
  • 1920 - First solar-powered air balloon launched at night.
  • 1969 - Sex is created. However, scientists do not think it will be a big hit.
  • 1975 - Gerald Ford falls victim to the Pants Vaporizer for the first time.
  • 1988 - The VHS video entitled Steal This Movie becomes the world's most widely stolen merchandise. Politicians baffled.
  • 1993 - The case of Pot v. Kettle goes to the Supreme Court.
  • 199X - Four unlikely heroes set out on a quest to destroy the world's ultimate evil, Giygas.
  • 2000 - That one movie comes to DVD. Nobody buys it.
  • 2003 - Open-Heart Surgery for Dummies notches record 500th lawsuit.
  • 2004 - Condoleeza Rice is arrested for indecent exposure.
  • 2005 - Uncyclopedia user Savethemooses is murdered by a gang of angry colleagues, alledgedly upset over Mooses' inflated eg
  • 2005 - On this Moose Conservation Day, nothing moose-related is mentioned.
  • 2007 - <insert name here> reads an uncyclopedia article and...laughs
  • 2008 - Chewbacca eats a moose burger on <insert name here>'s suggestion. Is arrested by animal rights activists, Han Solo kills <insert name here> in a Mos Eisley cantina.
  • 2009 - George Lucas changes history to make it look like <insert name here> got a shot in first. Fans of <insert name here> outraged.
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