Julian Simmons

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Julian Simmons

Julian when he sees a McDonald's sign.

“But nnooooowwwwww on the UTV...”
~ Julian Simmons when introducing shows

Sir Julian Simmons MBE OBE CBE DL (born 20 February 1952) is a British or Irish television announcer, who is best known to being one of the most hated figure in Norn Iron (just behind Ian Paisley), because of his very annoying introductions into shows on Unionist Television (or UTV). He is also a huge McDonald's fan.

edit Julian's story

Born near a well to Jack and Jill Simmons in Belfast, Julian grew up in poverty and his family had to steal to live. He was once caught trying to steal oranges from the local Orange Lodge and tried unsuccessfully to take hostage of a local fish and chip shop, where he demanded a truckload of chips for himself.

Julian eventually joined the television channel, Unionist Television in 1977, where his first job was being the teaboy, where he ate all biscuits. He later became a newsreader for the channel, but this did not last as Julian could not fit into the seat at the news desk.

Then in 1992, Julian became an on-screen announcer as he was able to still stand unaided, despite weighing 37 stone. Julian also went on to host his own shows on the station such as the travel show called Cum Fly with Julian, where he travels to places (such as Cork) to annoy the people there. Since then, Julian has continued to use his time as an on-screen announcer to make people punch their own television screens.

edit McDonald's fan

Julian is one of the biggest fans of McDonald's. When McDonald's first arrived in Norn Iron in 1991, Julian was the first to get into the restaurant. He loved it so much that he did not come out of the restaurant for two years. When he did eventually leave, he had trouble getting thought the main door. Today, Julian only survives on McDonald's food and is always happy when he sees a McDonald's sign.

edit See also

For those without comedic tastes, the so-called experts at Wikipedia have an article about Julian Simmons.
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