From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia

Jump to: navigation, search

Insane Clown Posse member Violent J.

Juggalos are a race of sentient, humanoid aliens from the planet Shangri-La. They are best known for successfully conquering the Earth in 2010 under the guise of evil clowns. Directed to Earth by two of their undercover scouts called the Insane Clown Posse, the Juggalos unleashed an all-out strike on the planet, attacking primarily by using primitive ax and hatchet weapons and blasting loud, unearthly music, swiftly defeating the Earth's population and taking over the white house following the impeachment of President Vanilla Ice.

edit Etymology

The word "Juggalo" comes from the latin word "jugiter", which means continually, perpetually, and constantly / instantly. This is because Juggalos are continually, perpetually and constantly taking over planets across the galaxy. Juggalos are born ninjas who mastered the abilities of every martial art known in the universe within the first two years of their lives, and with every punch given he/she gets even more power.

edit Physical appearance

In order to protect their delicate skin from sunlight, Juggalos wear a thick coating of white and black biochemical fluids (known by them as "face paint") over their faces at all times and usually wear baggy cloths which also blocks the light. In addition to the "face paint" they also have mummified braided hair. When they are seen in the dark, they are usually naked, and have a 2-liter soda stuck between their buttcheeks. They are obsessed with hatchets and axes and are often seen carrying one of these striking tools with a sharp blade on one side.

edit Habitat

Juggalos live on two extraterrestrial home planets. The main planet is called Shangri-La. They didn't like it so they moved to a different one next to it called "Juggalotus". Most of the juggalo species still live on Shangri-La, but it ran out of natural resources so they went to Juggalotus. It is a wildly diverse planet in the Nebulonius Galaxy located 2 million light years away from Earth. It has harsh deserts in the west land and cold arctic tundras in the east. It's flora and fauna includes a beautiful flower called a Dark Lotus. The Dark Lotus is extremely dangerous for human consumption. Simply touching a petal of a Dark Lotus will cause the photonic influx quantum mega-harmonizer to affect the juggalo time machine causing a destabilization of itself. Juggalos safely and regularly eat this flower and it's sacred fruit. It has medicinal uses such as a powerful Anti-Emetic effect. It is sometimes used as a psychedelic drug when Twiztid is in town.

Juggalotus's atmosphere consists of weed smoke and 12.325% Oxygen. Their "face paint" is made of lotusstone deposits located in the steep mountains of the planet. They mix the lotusstones with dirty dish water and apply it to their face. It is very important for the juggalo species to use this concoction otherwise the bright sunlight will bleach their face ultimately killing them. This planet has rich Faygo deposits that the juggalos drink and spray on each other. Faygo is the main ingredient in the soda with the same name. It is a traditional beverage to the juggalos and it is very healthy and delicious to consume. There are 1 known benefits from drinking Faygo.


"Oh God, it's seen us! RUN!!!"

edit Eating habits

Juggalos are carnivores that consume prey by trapping them in pink, cotton candy-like cocoons. These cocoons slowly disintegrate the prey into Faygo Red Pop, which Juggalos drink with a crazy/bendy straw.

edit Religion

The purpose of the Juggalos' invasion of Earth is still not fully understood. From the evidence of small bits of information intercepted from the Juggalos' police transmissions with each other, experts and cryptographers have determined that they believe in and follow a mysterious force, which they call the Dark Carnival. Much like Vikings, Juggalos are known to fight ferociously in battle, assaulting people with Faygo cans. It is a Juggalo belief that if one dies fighting to spread the faith of the Dark Carnival, one's soul will be able to ascend up to the glorious. Also, Juggalos yell Whoop WHOOP!!!, at funerals to send their homies of with pride of who they were.

edit Chants

Juggalos use "Chants" to call out their "Homies" possibly to spray them with the popular extraterrestrial Jugiter drink Faygo. Not much is known why they partake in these strange ritualistic chants (For example the Whoop Whoop call). It sounds and looks very similar to English but according to Shaggy 2 Dope's Communist manifesto They are based on English but they use their own lingo. According to legend it has been said on one dark scary Halloween Mr. Rotten Treats came back from the other side to strike revenge to those who wronged him. Out of nowhere Violent J came up with the popular Whoop Whoop call. There are about 12 different chants that juggalos use occasionally but we are unable to possess them as they are classified by the Jugiter Army and Navy

Personal tools