Jughead

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Bozo

Insane Clown Posse member Violent J.

Juggalos are a race of sentient, humanoid aliens from the planet Shangri-La. They are best known for successfully conquering the Earth in 2010 under the guise of evil clowns. Directed to Earth by two of their undercover scouts called the Insane Clown Posse, the Juggalos unleashed an all-out strike on the planet, attacking primarily by using primitive ax and hatchet weapons and blasting loud, unearthly music, swiftly defeating the Earth's population and taking over the white house following the impeachment of President Vanilla Ice. This chain of events was later recorded in a historical documentary, which was released a year later.

edit Juggalo biology

CHAINSAW!

"Oh God, it's seen us! RUN!!!"

edit Origin of the Word

The word "Juggalo" comes from the latin word "jugiter", which means continually, perpetually, and constantly / instantly. This is because Juggalos are continually, perpetually and constantly taking over planets across the galaxy. Juggalos are born ninjas who mastered the abilities of every martial art known in the universe within the first two years of their lives, and with every punch given he/she gets even more power.

edit Physical appearance

In order to protect their delicate skin from sunlight, Juggalos wear a thick coating of white and black biochemical fluids (known by them as "face paint") over their faces at all times and usually wear baggy cloths which also blocks the light. In addition to the "face paint" they also have mummified braided hair. When they are seen in the dark, they are usually naked, and have a 2-liter soda stuck between their buttcheeks. [1]

edit Eating habits

Juggalos are carnivores that consume prey by trapping them in pink, cotton candy-like cocoons. These cocoons slowly disintegrate the prey into Faygo Red Pop, which Juggalos drink with a crazy/bendy straw.


edit Evolutionary Origins

No one really knows what the juggalos evolved from, or were supposed to evolve into, but many speculate that because of their distinctive call, whoop whoop, that they are somehow related to the creature Zoidberg, which has a similar expression when frightened, though Juggalos use this term as a greeting, goodbye or a general all around term such asdude

edit Juggalo religion

The purpose of the Juggalos' invasion of Earth is still not fully understood. From the evidence of small bits of information intercepted from the Juggalos' transmissions with each other, experts and cryptographers have determined that they believe in and follow a mysterious force, which they call the [Dark Carniva]. Much like Vikings, Juggalos are known to fight ferociously in battle, assaulting people with Faygo cans. It is a Juggalo belief that if one dies fighting to spread the faith of the [Dark Carniva], one's soul will be able to ascend up to the glorious. Also, Juggalos yell Whoop WHOOP!!!, at funerals to send their homies of with pride of who they were.

edit Famous Juggalos

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