Journalists per square metre
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Journalists per square metre or JPSM (symbol: μ - Greek: mu) is a quality of being sensationalist or, how sensational a thing is. The higher an object's JPSM, the more outrageous it is; a more sensational story (such as Africa's starving people) will attract more viewers than a less sensational story (such as Tony Blair picking his nose in public).
The SI unit of JPSM is the journalist per square metre (Jm-2)
where:
- μ is the object's sensationality or JPSM (measured in journalists per square metre)
- J is the total number of journalists on the story (measured in kgm-3)
- A is the area of the place in which journalists are packed (measured square metres)
[edit] Example
Let us take the example of Africa's starving population. The size (area) of Africa is 30,360,288,000,000 m2. The number of journalists on the story is 300,000,000,000,000.
Which means there are currently roughly 10 journalists in every square meter over the surface of Africa. Due to the natural physical constraints of the human body, this would mean that either everyone in Africa is dead, or that the population of said country has taken up cannibalism in order to prevent starvation.
If the latter is true, they can't be starving. 
Note that this proof assumes the Theory of Evidence.
