From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
“If I can't see it, then I don't believe it. Unless I can read about it on UnHistory books”
“Something amazing happened, somewhere, a long time ago. Or maybe not”
UnHistory is the science that studies false and boring History and rescues the real and awesome UnHistory that always hides behind it.
edit UnHistory's UnHistory
UnHistory science was founded by unhistorian Josephus Flavour. Josephus was the first child of Joseph and Putiphar's wife. Born in(incert random B.C. date here)as a jew, he converted to the roman darkside when noticed that nobody was going to survive and be able to tell the world, about the number of hot-dogs posts in the Jerusalem's Temple before its destruction, or the sexual rituals in the Sanctum Sanitarium. After finishing his First Book of UnHistory he realized his work wasn't over. Answering to the call of duty, Josephus founded the School of UnHistory to make sure that all the great and amusing events of Time, wont be forgotten just because they might have not actually happend. Among his most remarkable followers were Herodotus, Tukidides, Turkidudes, Sallustus, Poulus Johnson, Erikus Howsban and Dan Brown. Their Legacy became the pillars of both Wikipedia and Uncyclopedia.
edit Josephus Flavour's UnHistory Principles
From his prologue to the Nine Books of UnHistory third edition, on how to rescue true Unhistory from false History:
- If u can't explain the causes of an historical event, it's ok, they don't have any.
- If History has many versions they are all wrong. Mix them or make your own one.
- If something happened before your lifetime, then it must be dated at least 1000 years before Christ.
- If there is not enough strong empirical evidence to prove your UnHistory wrong, then it must be true. If there is, ignore it.
- If History doesn't include gods, semi-gods, half animal creatures, can not be real. In order to fix it u can add some creatures randomly selected from Faery Kingdom.
- Herecy and Blasphemy are always right, unless you are in danger of being burned.
- The world was created by God, and humans have nothing to do with those filthy monkeys, except, perhaps, those who claim the opposite.
- All heroes have super powers. Except from Popey, he just takes drugs.
- Duplicating the number of Jesuses, Hitlers and U.S presidents makes them real.
- Although both UnHistory and fiction require the assistance of the muses, they are totally different things. Fiction can have beginning, middle and ending, and the ending can be happy.
- When writing future UnHistory, take a past UnHistory and add some akward names, aliens, robots, or any unreasonable and unachievable technology.
edit Books by Josephus Flavour
- The Nine Books of UnHistory.
- The Iliad
- The Peloponnesian Wars
- The Star Wars
- Pees and Wars
- The war of the worlds
- How to make a pastrami sandwich
UnHistoriology is perhaps the most prolific field of studies within UnHistory. Or perhaps not. It deals mainly with the claim that UnHistory is just a parody of History although unhistorians say otherwise.
UnHistoriology also studys the development of unhistories through time, the changing judgements of unhistorical events through the diverse periods and places, and the different versions of the same unhistory in differents books, movies and videogames. The World War Series, from World War I and a half to World War XI is probably one of the most famous examples of the many possible variations on the same unhistorical fact. The appropriation of the communist monster Maozilla to make the American movie about the size complex, or the use of semi-naked Hollywood Stars as Greek heroes in Troy are other good examples of the unhistoriological approach on different media.
UnBiographies tell the personal UnHistory life of a particular individual. They are usually written by professional unhistorians. However, some people choose to write their own AutoUnBiographies. AutoUnBiographies are highly unaccepted in our times, not only for their frequent obvious unhistorical inaccuracies, but for promoting extremely repetitive and boring narcissism. UnBiographies can also be written on fictional characters, but those are often just lame bunches of random humor.