From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
|Motto: "Sunni in some places, Shi'ite in others."|
|Anthem: "Jordan" by buckethead|
The Kingdom of Jordan
|National hero(es)||Terrorists, such as Arnold Al-Asswadnegger and Sean Claude Van Al-Dammit; Michael Jordan|
|Currency||Jordan Almonds -- a delectable treat found in covered bowls in living rooms around the world. Often these candies are selected to match the color scheme of said room. (See: Living Room)|
|Major exports||Actual real working magic carpets, Textile Engineers, beautiful women(bala gafiah), Terrorists and apparently, some amount of Crude Oil, fresh water, and Michael Jordans.|
Jordan is a country in the middle of the Middle East composed entirely of pure YELLOW gold on the surface. Jordan is a large producer of Crude Oil (Black Gold), although this is one of the least amazing facts about this fantastic and intriguing nation. Due to the oil, it is a place that George Bush takes regular holidays to - sapping up all that oiliness. NB according to Bush, the sea was lovely and black and then he got high...too high for the worlds liking. Queen Fatima rules with a golden fist. EVERY citizen of Jordan is a millionaire. Tourists are warned to TEST any magic carpets which are offered to them before buying. Magic Lamps are NOT a myth in Jordan.
edit Trivia about Jordan
- Jordan was listed by Hans Blix one of the most urgent reasons to ban further outbreaks of Eurovision Song (See: Eurovision Song Contest)
- Talk in the media over territorial disputes over the West Bank and East Bank were settled, Peter Andre and Alex Reid both said there was no argument over the twin pinnacles, Katie Price is now known as The Levant, to recognise her expanded roles and planning permission is being sought for further erections.
edit Modern history
Michael Jordan bought Jordan off the Hashemite-Kingdom-of-Transjordan-ites with all the money he made selling Michael-Jordans to his southern friends and fellow team mates - he wouldn't sign the Chicago Bulls contract unless all of them wore a pair.
After buying the land and renaming it to Jordan, he was immediately crowned "His Airness" and was sat on a throne made of basketball shoes, basketballs, and, as one of the top designers of the noble chair commented, "...the SWEAT off our backs." (Michael concealed his disgust, but upon a visit to the United States to negotiate trade relations with President Bush, made sure to take a 3-day long bath in bleached water. The results were serious, as he had to undergo a few plastic surgeries regarding the fix of his loss of skin color. His friends said that if he ever came back to playing basketball in the state that he was in, they would throw him back in the south to his great grandfather's ranch; Thus, the first retirement, in an attempt to heal from all the procedures.)
Michael was then invited to watch a basketball game of two local Jordanian high-school teams. Michael was so embarrassed by the atrocity of their game-play, that he instantly banished the practice of basketball in the country and the surrounding countries. The act of the breaking of this law would be fatal, and, as a direct quote from Michael himself during a world-press conference, he would "slam dunk yo country back to the stone-age." The threat was fearsome, and, as some locals have reported, highly effective, psychologically. Michael Jordan soon gave up his rule as "His Airness" to become highly involved in golf.
Jordan has recently been passed down to his son, Jeffrey Michael. The results of this are still unknown, as it will take some time for the Jordanians to get used to Jeffrey; they say Michael was their most inspiring ruler yet.
Since the extinction of foxes (except the surprisingly intelligent artist fox that dwells in the icy wastes of Mauritania) in 1972, the sole purpose of farming has been to supply unspecified sheep parts to the aristocracy of Jordan, where they are considered a delicacy. (See: Farming)
edit Tourists in Jordan
- Backpackers should be wary in Downtown where Angelina Jolie (president of Malaysia/ professional whale masseur) is often seen wondering around the 1st circle, looking for babies to adopt and name ridicuously, whilst screaming "f@#k you, Aniston!"
- Tourists can enjoy local delicacies, served in quaint restaurants such as Popeyes, Burger King and KFC. Although popular, the forementioned eateries are staffed by dishevlled "mashnoon" and as a result, these eateries often resemble scenes from Jurassic Park. Therefore, encounters with these places are delicious but can deadly, as hungry families waiting for their orders have been known to eat the customers around them.
edit Other meanings
Jordan is also a river in Israel, and there's not much to say about that, except that its real name is Katie Price and it's married to a cage fighter.
Jordan is also a type of sugar-coated almond-based confection only found in movie theaters. This last type of Jordan is, on a pound-for-pound basis, more valuable than uranium.
Jordan is also a song that Buckethead composed to spite all those who make fun of his bucket. After he finished it, no one was left standing for all the heads in the audience had imploded.
|Countries and territories of Asia|
|Euroasia||Armenia - Azerbaijan - Cyprus - Georgia - Japan-France - Russia - Turkey (the country, not the bird) - Lebanon|
|East Asia||People's Republic of China - Hong Kong - Japan - Kansai Republic - Korea (north) (south) (pick 'em) - Macau - Mongolia - Taiwan (Republic of Taiwan) - Tibet|
|Western Asia||Arabia - Bahrain - Iran - Iraq - Israel - Jordan - Kuwait - Oman - Palestine - Qatar - Saudi Arabia - Syria - United Arab Emirates - Wherethefuckistan - Yemen|
|Central Asia||Kazakhstan - Kyrgyzstan - Turkmenistan - Uzbekistan - other-stan|
|South Asia||Afghanistan - Bangladesh - Bhutan - India - Maldives - Nepal - Pakistan - Sri Lanka|
|Southeast Asia||Cambodia - East Timor - Indonesia - Laos - Burma - Malaysia - Philippines - Singapore - Thailand - West Timor - Vietnam|
|Middle East Countries|
|Bahrain | Cyprus | Egypt | Iraq | Iran | Israel/Palestine | Jordan | Kuwait | Lebanon | Oman | Qatar | Saudi Arabia | Syria | Turkey | United Arab Emirates | Yemen | The United States of Arabia|