Jordan
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| Motto: "Sunni in some places, shi'ite in others." | |||||
| Anthem: "Jordan" by buckethead | |||||
| Capital | Amman | ||||
| Largest city | Agrabah | ||||
| Official languages | Barbaric | ||||
| Government | Hasheboogie | ||||
| Princess | Queen Fatima | ||||
| National Hero(es) | Terrorists, such as Arnold Al-Asswadnegger and Sean Claude Van Al-Dammit; Michael Jordan | ||||
| Declaration of Independence | 1337 | ||||
| Currency | Jordan Almonds -- a delectable treat found in covered bowls in living rooms around the world. Often these candies are selected to match the color scheme of said room. (See: Living Room) | ||||
| Religion | Terrorism (see Islam) | ||||
| Major exports | Actual real working magic carpets, Textile Engineers, beautiful women, Terrorists and apparently, some amount of Crude Oil, fresh water, and Michael Jordans. | ||||
| Major imports | Sand | ||||
| Opening hours | 7-11 | ||||
A country in the middle of the Middle East composed entirely of pure YELLOW gold on the surface, Jordan is one of the world's largest producers of Crude Oil (Black Gold), although this is one of the least amazing facts about this fantastic and intriguing nation. Due to the oil, it is a place that George Bush takes regular holidays to - sapping up all that oiliness. NB according to Bush, the sea was lovely and black and then he got high...too high for the worlds liking. Queen Fatima rules with a golden fist. EVERY citizen of Jordan is a millionaire. Tourists are warned to TEST any magic carpets which are offered to them before buying. Magic Lamps are NOT a myth in Jordan.
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[edit] Iragi Joke OR Jordanian Joke?
A Jordanian found a magic lamp - a genie appeared and asked his wish. The man said, "I wish all these Iraqi refugees would go back across the border!"
"Why?" asked the genie, "whatever have we done to you?"
He is also the worl'ds sexiest male model, and one day aspires to be Brian Dombrowski. he is constantly outwitting his Physics teacher, Shu MD, and wishes to rape and kill her.
[edit] Trivia About Jordan
- Jordan was listed by Hans Blix one of the most urgent reasons to ban further outbreaks of Eurovision Song (See: Eurovision Song Contest)
- Jordan holds the record for the largest bra ever knittted (See: Knitting)
- Jordan once Groped the lead singer of the popular rock band "black stone cherry"
- Jordan shall live forever!!!!
- The terrorist Jordanish is known to be active in this country
- American chief George W. Bush has been criticised for being "too friendly" with this nation. And is a complete screw off
- In the Nike Revolution of 2006, the United States grants "bordering nation" status to Jordan
- The fantasy work known as Epic Legends of the Hierarchs: The Elemenstor Saga was an export of this nation.
- Jordanians are also known to be super proud of their pathetic ruled kingdom.
- Jordan is known to have the best places for strippers and night clubs.
- It is told that it's ruled by a bunch of monkeys.
- Smiling is a crime in Jordan!
- While Jordan seems like a desolate wasteland you park your car on a carcass of a dead submarine and you only pay .05% of what you earn. This law was revised to include Stephen Hawking.
[edit] Modern History of Jordan (no one really cares about it's freaking Stone-Age)
Michael Jordan bought Jordan off the Hashemite-Kingdom-of-Transjordan-ites with all the money he made selling Michael-Jordans to his southern friends and fellow team mates - he wouldn't sign the Chicago Bulls contract unless all of them wore a pair. After buying the land and renaming it to Jordan, he was immediately crowned "His Airness" and was sat on a throne made of basketball shoes, basketballs, and, as one of the top designers of the noble chair commented, "...the SWEAT off our backs." (Michael concealed his disgust, but upon a visit to the Unites States to negotiate trade relations with President Bush, made sure to take a 3-day long bath in bleached water. The results were serious, as he had to undergo a few plastic surgeries regarding the fix of his loss of skin color. His friends said that if he ever came back to playing basketball in the state that he was in, they would throw him back in the south to his great grandfather's ranch; Thus, the first retirement, in an attempt to heal from all the procedures.) Michael was then invited to watch a basketball game of two local Jordanian high-school teams. Michael was so embarrassed by the atrocity of their game-play, that he instantly banished the practice of basketball in the country and the surrounding countries. The act of the breaking of this law would be fatal, and, as a direct quote from Michael himself during a world-press conference, he would "slam dunk yo country back to the stone-age." The threat was fearsome, and, as some locals have reported, highly effective, psychologically. Michael Jordan soon gave up his rule as "His Airness" to become highly involved in golf. (Quote anonymously: "I swear, if that ****** *** ***** ******* ***** **** takes away my ******* rank I will ***** my **** stick so far up his *** that he's be sorry he banned Basketball in Jordan. That West-Coast ************. The East's gunna bring the heat on, ******.") Jordan has recently been passed down to his son, Jeffrey Michael. The results of this are still unknown, as it will take some time for the Jordanians to get used to Jeffrey; they say Michael was their most inspiring ruler yet.
[edit] Agriculture in Jordan
Since the extinction of foxes (except the surprisingly intelligent artist fox that dwells in the icy wastes of Mauritania) in 1972, the sole purpose of farming has been to supply unspecified sheep parts to the aristocracy of Jordan, where they are considered a delicacy. (See: Farming)
[edit] Major Urban Centers and Geographic Land Marks
- Agrabah - the famous city of Disney's Alladin
- Amman, The capital of Jordan; a city which is in territory hotly contested by the Palestinians (See: Palestine)
- The Dead Tea (See: Tea) A lake on the border of Israel , Palestine, and Jordan filled with incredibly salty tea.
- A huge mountain has been erected in the middle of the capital of Jordan. There is word that Jeffrey Michael plans on naming it Mount Jeffrey, from which he will rule Jordan like a pharaoh, for eternity.
- A huge statue made of basketballs, sweat, and basketball shoes is said to be under construction in memory of their greatest ruler, Michael Jordan.
[edit] Prominent Families of Jordan
- McHaggis -- The Clan McHaggis homelands, since the 12th century, can be traced to the lands around Haggishire, Scotland. However, there was also a branch of the clan associated with the Middle Eastern country of Jordan. This connection goes back in ancient history, and is a result of a long drinking binge and a dare.
There has been a predominant appearance of the Michal Jordan clan, known throughout the world for banning Basketball in Jordan. Thus, there was a recent observation of the emergence of the anti-Michael Jordan clan in Jordan, supporting the return of Basketball, and an anti-Michael-Jordan clan in the United States, protesting his involvement in golf, that was started by the people of Jordan.
[edit] Other meanings
There are six kinds of Jordan. One is the hashemite kingdom of Jordan, and is in the middle east - whenever things start kicking off a bit, Jordan immediately goes off and gets a teacher. Then releases a press statement saying "yeah, we saw the whole thing, couldn't believe it." Then sits smugly as everybody else gets a kicking.
The second is a British woman, occasionally known as Katie Price, noted for the largeness of her (ever increasing) great big hooters, who had in more recent years threatened to represent Britain in the Eurovision Song Contest in tight PVC outfit while heavily pregnant. She was been offered upwards of twenty million pounds not to take part. She is also noted for shaving years off her her actual age. she is currently still pretending to be in her late twenties, when in reality she is in her mid thirties.
The third kind of Jordan is a river in Israel, and there's not much to say about that, except that its real name is Katie Price and it's going out with Peter Andre.
The fourth kind of Jordan is a type of sugar-coated almond-based confection only found in movie theaters. This last type of Jordan is, on a pound-for-pound basis, more valuable than uranium.
The fifth Jordan, is the amazingness by Buckethead. He composed this song to spite all those who make fun of his bucket. After he finished it, no one was left standing for all the heads in the audience had imploded.
The sixth Jordan is from a small town in West Virginia, and is credited with destroying Chuck Norris in an all out battle to the death. Only to have Chuck Norris raise from the dead and smack him saying, "Fool, you can't kill me!"
Well it was thought that there were only six kinds of Jordan, however there was a SEVENTH found in a small town in Canada, which is located somewhere north of Mexico. It is this Jordan who should be credited for the creation of everything in the world. Including Chuck Norris. Who is of no match to his modified Tatsumaki Senpuukyaku. HADOUKEN!!!
The name of the country is said to be derived from the last name of the basket-ball legend, Michael Jordan, which means 'I pwn Tiger's ass at golf n' basketball.'
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