Joplin, Missouri

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MOMap-doton-Joplin

A little known fact about the city of Joplin is that it sits directly over a gateway to Heaven. This gateway was referenced in the little known sequal to Rocky, Rocky 2. As of the 2000 census, Joplin has a healthy population.

edit History

The name Joplin actually comes from the German phrase "heaven on earth". Thus again making references to the gateway to Heaven. It is believed that the gateway was created by two early German explorers and druids, Scott and Janis Joplin. After learning of the areas unique qualities they decided it would be a perfect place to communicate directly with God. They used the cover of Lead mining so other local religious zealots would not try to over take their gateway.

By the turn of the century Joplin was quick becoming a metropolis of good. Construction centered around 4th and Virginia Streets, which is now the location for the Central Church. The congregation is now lead by Hank Deslatte, a man of God.

edit Future

Home of Kent "Pollo Loco" Gomez leader of the future fowl rebellion. Preparations are already underway, the armies of Butterball and Tyson will ravage the globe. Residents are encouraged to stockpile arms and beef products for the coming war.

edit Geography

Joplin is located at 37°4'40" North, 94°30'40" West (37.077760, -94.511024).

Joplin is located just to the north of Highway I-44, near the Western Passage into the vast plains and tornado ally.

edit Notables

Joplin's goodness has been even recorded in song a local band, Faces of Adam, titled "Jesus loves Joplin".

It is the home of the famous Forklift driver, Old Mcdonald.

It has also been a favorite vacation spot to a famous teacher, Jenna Bush.

Also note that Hulk Holgan once stopped at a Joplin restaurant Big R's for some BBQ ribs.


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