Jonathan Ross

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Jonathan "Wossy Woss Woss" Ross is an English TV presenter best known for his talk show The Jonathan Woss Show, in which he kidnaps a bunch of celebrities that everyone is starting to forget about, and use Justin Bieber music and Chinese water torture to expel information, much like Julian Assange. In the first edition of the show, he attempted to kidnap Chuck Norris. Jonathan now has a speech impediment.

The Jonathan Woss Show

In 2011 Jonathan came up with a new idea for a TV show: He would talk to celebrities. He was included in Mensa for this unique format. Not much info is known about this subject, because hardly anyone watches it, and the ones who do are fat paedophiles or CIA agents.

Upcoming Shows

Jonathan Woss has announced that he will be holding another talk show, unique style: It will be only females and in a basement. After a few weeks of speculation, he has named the show "Wape" and has called on Jessica Ennis, Megan Fox and Liz Gillies for his unfilmed pilot. Jonathan went into hospital for a few weeks after severe mental damage, the only evidence being a letter from Susan Boyle asking to be on his new show. He claims he has terrifying nightmares. Jonathan will host the show with his pet pixie, shown in the picture.


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